Proposition 8 Be Damned!

I never imagined that the time would come where I could imagine being married to the man I plan on loving for the rest of my life in any state or country. But times have changed to where it is a possibility in some countries, and in America, in some states. Too few states if you ask me, and if Proposition 8 goes through, California will no longer be one of those few.

And THANKS to Victor Hoff of Men Of Color Blog for writing a post that brought the "Write To Marry" blog campaign to my attention, this blog post is my expression as to why Proposition 8 should not happen.

Proposition 8 is a motion to ban same-sex marriages in California. One part of this being such a travesty is because as of right now, California is one of the few states that allow same-sex marriages, so if Proposition 8 goes through, all those same-sex marriages that have taken place since California permitted them will be null and void. How cruel? How void of humanity for a government to allow people who love each other of whatever gender to get married, then take that joy of them being married away? And what makes it worse is the state's governor being behind this - Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is the worst kind of immigrant, because he has lived his life by the culture rules embraced by the common politician. He takes what he can from the country he has made his home (in this case being America), then uses the power he has gained to step on those who brought him there. So not just like your common politician, but even more so like your common Republican.

To explain, part of what made Schwarzenegger a movie star, and gain the popularity that allowed him to become governor was his gay following. While he may not agree with homosexuality and gay marriage from his personal religious cultural standpoint, what right does he have to force that on to a part of the population that brought him to where he is? Marriage should be between 2 consenting individuals in love, be they man and woman, man and man, or woman and woman. No state, or even country law for that matter, should dictate whether or not I should be able to marry the one I love. Therefore this should not be an issue. But as karma would have it, Governor Schwarzenegger's greed for power has manifested itself so well physically by making him into the sagging' titted lard-ass he is today. Sagging titties representing the sorrow he brings to Californian against Proposition 8 and his other Republican hypocritical bullshit stands. And his presently being such a shadow of his former self as a lard-ass, which I take as him getting fat off of his lust for power to think he's some kind of god.

So many Californians have been made happy by same-sex marriages being allowed. And not just those who are gay, but the straight people in their lives as well who want nothing more for them than to see them happy. I bet many have brought this to California government's attention, but with their power hungry ego-trips, they refuse to listen. Well let your voice be heard NOW. Because if we can beat Proposition 8 in California, it will be a sign to all the other states that gays love just like straights and we have evolved enough to have a "live an let live" mentality about love between 2 consenting adults.

Thereby allowing gays to keep the right to express that love to the same magnitude as straights do, Because it is what we all as human beings deserve.

And even if Proposition 8 goes through, we should not let that deter us from the fight that has begun. So no matter how it turns out, let it be the start of us being heard and grow louder from state to state by....

....Voting NO to Proposition 8. Proposition 8 be damned!

Wish Upon ULTIMATE STARZ

In August of last year, I received an email asking me to be a part of a pornstar interview book. I was suspicious at first, but once the author revealed himself to be Owen Keehnen, author of pornstar interview books, STARZ and More STARZ, I was ready and willing to answer all questions. The name of the book is ULTIMATE STARZ, and after going to Owen Keehnen's website and seeing some of the way bigger names of other models interviewed, I am quite honored to have been asked.

I'm looking forward to seeing how my interview was edited (if at all), because if you've read any of my past interviews, you then know that I give very detailed answers, especially regarding certain issues. So my biggest concern is that those certain issues weren't dodged. I hope it was shown that while I greatly enjoy what I do, it could be if possible) multiple times more enjoyable if those factors that should and could easily undone, were undone.

I'm also looking forward to reading what some of the other models that I've lusted so long for have to say. I'm hoping they didn't show themselves to be as dumb as a bucket of rocks, or even dumber by letter a PR machine do all the work of answering Owen's questions. Instead, they made themselves a whole lot more sexy by showing there's a truly intellectual being within that gorgeous face and bod that I would love to kiss, grope, suck, and fuck.

ULTIMATE STARZ comes out on October 30, 2008 so you can order yours now at Amazon.com. I'm sure you'll also soon be able to buy it from other gay book retailers as well. So ENJOY, and I hope I did you proud.

Single By The Curse Of Culture

When I tell people that I'm single, people often ask me, "You're so cute, why are you single?".

Well, to be honest what ever degree of cute I may be should not dictate as to whether I'm single or not. ANYONE being in a relationship should be dictated by finding someone who they feel is worthy of their heart, mind, body, and soul. And I have yet to find that special someone yet, and I'm not forcing it. So you may be asking with some many people out there, what could be stopping me from finding a special someone.

Simple answer.

What's stopping me from finding that special someone is the fact that no one so far is man enough to show some individuality by not being so loyal to the rules of some culture that they take on the negative traits from that culture as well.

This should not come as a surprise. I have often said that I don't like stereotypical people. And why would I when I myself am not a stereotypical Black man? After all for starters, I do talk proper English.

There are many rules within certain cultures that are positive, and some are negative. Whether that culture be based on ethnicity, regional origin, religion, sexuality, etc., we have to show the individuality it takes to separate the positive and the negatives of that culture. My single status is due to the fact, that while I try to live by that rule, few males do the same, thereby making themselves overgrown little boys unworthy of sharing in what my heart, mind, body, and soul have to offer. I am by no means claiming to be perfect, but I'm sure most of my flaws are based on my distinct personality traits, instead of cultural traits as practically all the guys from my past.

A perfect example of this can be shown by my revisiting a name you loyal readers haven't heard from me in awhile - Igor. While being originally from Russia claiming he was (as I am still) disappointed with American gay culture, he adopted so many of the negative stereotypical traits of American gay culture (such as the shallowness) that he not only made himself unfit to be my lover as I was originally hoping for with him, but he adopted those negatives to the extent that he made himself become deemed unfit by me to be even just a friend. You see, I could except flawed judgement to an extent, because while I said that I'm not perfect, I accept that in others as well, but some imperfections just go too far for my tolerance.

This may ruffle some feathers, but iof the many cultures I can use as example, I'll use the most common - Black and White. Black culture, which nowadays is more and more being dominated by hip-hop culture therefore has rules that are based too much on street-smarts for my taste. Because besides the improper English, it is also stereotyped with homophobia and disrespect towards women in general by constant use of the word, "bitch". While White culture is based too much on book-smarts for my taste. You have no idea how much I hate the stereotypical White terminology, "I'm educated", because most (if not all) of the people who I've known to make that claim have traded book-sense for common sense. Trust me on this, I see this everyday at the law firm I work at where me and my co-workers get asked the most simple-minded questions that just a little use of common sense would make no need to ask. And the reason why this happens is because neither one exhibiting stereotypical behavior decides to create a balance between street-smarts and book-smarts.

Now while these behaviors may be common to those stereotypical of their race, it is of course possible for people to adopt the rules of other ethnic or societal cultures, as I mentioned in Igor's case. BUT all too often, they adopt the bad more than the good of that culture. Hence the reason you have Whites who call themselves "wiggas"and are usually just as rude and obnoxious as the stereotypical Black, and Blacks who call themselves "educated", but just like their Whites cohorts, have traded book-sense for common sense.

As I often answer questions before you can put them in any comments you may have, I must assure you that as a Black man, my annoyance with Blacks claiming to be "educated" has nothing to do with me envying them because I have a high school education. After all, considering the constant display of common sense and looking below the surface of things that I have displayed on this blog since its beginning, I ask you, what reason would I have to envy them? NONE AT ALL, because I practice what I preach by trying to create a balance of both street-smarts and book-smarts that I feel has and still does give me survival skills in this world that make me practically invincible. To the extent that I will only be beaten by the hands of God.

So in regards to the Black and White friends that I have, they are my friends because they don't so follow the rules of their race's culture that they've (massively, if at all) adopted it negatives, nor have they erroneously so followed another race's culture that they have adopted that culture's negatives. They have learned the art of taking on the good and leaving behind the bad. The same as I try to do.

That is why with all of the variety of people I have come in contact with, I personally have taken note of both, the behavioral traits embedded in them because of a specific culture they allow themselves to be ruled by. Also, just in case I might not be around them for long, I listen to what they have to say are the traditions within the culture that they allow themselves to be ruled by. With that in mind, I have tried to live my life by adopting those behavioral traits that make me a productive individual, and discarding the ones that do not. If I could meet a single male who is individual enough, therefore adult enough, therefore man enough, therefore intellectual enough to do the same, then I might not have the single status that I have today.

Well according to the book, "The Secret Language of Birthdays" people born on my day are very tenacious, so I am quite patient in waiting for what I want. And as an Aries, I am quite stubborn about not accepting anything less. So until that sweet day that I meet someone man enough to be his own man, therefore not so puppeteered by some culture rules that he lessens the worth of his existence, I will revel in my single life, basking in the fact that at least I'm living life by the standards not set by some culture, but set by the individual ME.

Artistic Review: Michael Carmine's SHOWBOY

From the moment I started this blog, I wanted it to be about more than just porn, more than just sex. As much as I love the two, I know that there is more out there to make life fun. Things like taking in a good live performance once in a while. And I did such a thing this past Friday night by going to see Michael Carmine for a one night only performance of his one-man show entitled, SHOWBOY.

Michael Carmine is the same Michael from my post about doing the AIDS Walk this year. Once I discovered he was a performer, I always wanted to see him in action. Especially after seeing how much of a character he was during the AIDS Walk. I thought to myself he must be an explosion of energy that rains on the audience when he takes to the stage. And my theory was proven as fact on Friday night as to how nothing could be closer to the truth about Michael.

Before the show even began, I had high expectations just by reading the intro he wrote on the 1st page of the program. It reads:

It has been my privilege to share this moment with you

It all comes down to a dream. When I first put this show together, I was at a point where I thought I had everything. Then life hit me right between the eyes. I felt lost, distracted and disoriented. I thought to myself, what can I do to get myself out of this dark place? I know I'll put on a show! I scheduled the date made the arrangements to put on a one night only musical spectacular. One month to the original opening night, I thought to myself, I can't do this. Not now at least I wasn't in a place where I could focus 100% on my creativity. I wasn't doing it for the right reason. I was still in a victim consciousness. So I rescheduled the date and got right to work. It was a tough journey but I got the show exactly where I wanted it to be, both creatively and spiritually. In the end, it all comes down to this. The goal is not to be more famous or more rich. The goal is, what do you have to say? Your job is to guide people, and to inspire people. You have to understand that you are not the owner of your talent. You are the manager, and if you manage it wisely, you will always have it. If you ever think for a second that you own it, you will lose it.

Love and Light,

Michael Carmine

What struck me most in that intro was him saying how our goals should be about saying things to guide and inspire. I defintely can relate which is how this blog came to be the sometimes controversal voice of mine that it is today.

And those high expectations were not disappointed not one bit either. In fact, I can go as far to say that the sensual and vibrant dancing Michael did while doing covers of songs by Madonna, Kylie Minogue, George Michael, Charlotte Church and Adam Garcia gave me the high of watching great entertainment that filled the void created last Sunday from HustlaBall.

YES, Michael is just that great a manager of his talents. Enough so that he allows other great talents to shine as well. Such as his special guests:

Amy Lynn Zanetto. Will some major label sign her PLEASE, so that her voice gets the exposure it truly deserves? But I must implore that Mr. Big Label Guy doesn't do the typical thing big labels do and try to be the boss of her talents. Let her magnificent voice be the guide; and

Dan Crowley. I love passing on compliments that have been given to me at some point. And here I must pass on as to how Dan's lyrics paint a picture, and it's sometimes of things we don't realize we've been looking at the whole time. But if it wasn't for those words,we may have walked away and missed it. And his soothing voice makes it that much easier to get the message.

With all that, yet it was a one-night only performance, then why review it, some may ask? Because you see, I'm a man of my word. I make my life away from the sex industry cameras about more than just porn and sex. So I want to show off what you missed out on if you didn't follow me in doing the same. And it's not like I left you out of the loop. All you had to do was look to the right of this blog and in the "Interests/Hobbies" section of my DList profile and see the animated advertisement. It was right there for your left eye to catch moving. Just a simple click on it, and you could have joined in on the fun.

Maybe next time.....

Tré Xavier: Escort?

It seems my titles regarding my experiences during this year's HustlaBall wind up with a question mark at the end. It's because the events I'm recalling initiate a question that you will get an answer to by the end. Such as how I made you wonder if I found HustlaBall to be a bust. Now, I'll make you wonder if this experience I'm about to recall has me considering becoming an escort. Well, you're about to find out.

I have often corrected the notion here that just because I do porn, that does not mean I am also an escort. They are 2 separate things. For one, as a porn actor, it is inevitable that there will be sex and it will be seen by the public, while as an escort, sex might be involved, and whether that sex is seen would be up to a client/escort agreement. I AM ONLY A PORN ACTOR, but the aforementioned misconception may have led to my getting a little experience as an escort.

While I was at HustlaBall, a gentleman approached me saying that he saw me at the Gay Erotic Expo, an he thought I was really cute. I thanked him for the compliment. He then asked me if I wanted to have some fun. I responded by telling him that the only fun I have is for free, and I don't get paid for it. And he wasn't a bad looking guy at all, so having fun was actually a possibility. This happened just as the VIP Lounge was starting to get jumping somewhat, so I was by means ready to distract myself with anything else, especially after paying for that VIP ticket. With that in mind, I told him that I may be interested later.

Later came sooner than I thought.

While I was talking to someone I only chatted with at Daniel Nardicio's Oktoberfist the night before, that same gentleman walked pass me. I greeted him with a smile as he passed by. The next thing I knew, while I was still chatting with the guy from Oktoberfist, the gentleman was coming over to me offering me a beer. He then whisked me off over near a small area on one side of the bar. We conversated with him asking me things about the porn business. I did allow him to feel me up to the point of giving me a hard-on. I know he wanted more, but I didn't allow it. He even wanted to give me a blowjob right there. But I stopped him because Daniel Nardicio was hosting the VIP Lounge, but I wasn't working it. So tonight, I might allow a patron to cop a feel of my cock, but not a taste.

He actually put money in my pocket for spending time with him. He gave me the option to leave, but since he really was a gentleman, I stayed with him a little longer before going back to the party. It was then that I caught up with Vin Nolan and Sergio Anthony.

Me and my friend Ben Marksman had a discussion about escorting, where we concluded as to how it's no different from any other profession out here. Because the bottom line is that as long as you are not compromising yourself, then you are fine doing what you do. So for I or anyone else to look down upon it is hypocritical. I enjoyed the pleasure I gave this gentleman by only being in his company, and I don't feel I compromised myself at all. Now while others would not have compromised themselves had they went any further than I did, I knew that I personally would have, hence why I can't be an escort. Therefore, while I am not a pornstar/escort as some assume are one and the same, I am just Tré Xavier - Porn Actor, and I'm content with that.

HustlaBall, HustlaBomb?

I actually sprung for a VIP ticket to Hustlaball this year. Some of you may not know this, but I did throw my name into the hat to be a possible performer. So before some of you come back at me, I will admit that buy buying a ticket to Hustlaball, I broke my rule of how after numerous tries to be part one of a companies' entertainers, that if I'm not good enough to entertain for you, then my money is not good enough for you either. So why did I break that rule of mine, you ask?

For the experience of getting some idea of those with the connections or appeared to have garnered the credentials to get in for a discount or nothing at all. So I had to pay for a ticket with my own hard earned money to get a taste of what they experience.

The next question I'm sure many of you are asking is whether or not it was worth it. And the answer to that is sad to say only somewhat. I really wasn't that impressed. That's why while I did have my camera, there aren't more pictures from me to share. And just so you know, before I go any further, my sentiments are not because I'm feeling jilted. The proof is that some of the actual perfomers share my sentiments in how lacking this HustlaBall was. You see, this may seem strange, but if I'm not picked to be on the roster of performers, I want to envy the fact that I wasn't chosen. Because the envy lets me know I was overlooked for a production well done. But due to the lackluster feelings shared by some from both parts of the produciton, performers and patrons, I have no envy.

I actually feel that all I paid for was the VIP room entertainment, and even that fell short for me. Daniel Nardicio hosted the VIP room and the only dancers that maintain Daniel's reputation of sexual freedom were Myles (who I've danced with at Sugarland) and June from B.C. Productions' Chocolate Cream movies.

June is a new object of my lust.

And he has some idea of the lust bucket I am, because he saw my "being playful" and taking full advantage of the no clothing option at Daniel Nardicio's Oktoberfist the night before.

From what I've seen of him in his movies, he's a little big dicked-bottom. And while I constantly attest to not being a size queen, I do love big dicked-bottoms, so I can have this nice long schlong to play with while I'm giving him a primal fuck. I also love the fact that he's shorter me with a bigger cock than mine, just like Shorty J. in "The Interview". Shorty J. in case you didn't know is 5' 2" with a 9-incher, while I'm 5' 6' with about 8". And that being shorter than me while having a bigger cock makes me fantasize about June topping my ass me just like Shorty J did.

Maybe some dancer went as far as June and Myles after I walked away, but as long as I was there, and as cute as they were, it would have been better to see more guys being more risque. After all, this weekend was publicized as being so erotic with The Gay Erotic Expo and HustlaBall being on the same weekend. If may be because of the "hypocritical prudence stick in the ass" of New York legislation repressing sexuality that I spoke of in talking about the Erotic Expo, but it killed the fun I was expecting. I wasn't expecting the sexual madhouse Daniel Nardicio's parties usually create, but I was hoping to see something that a better amount more to the horniness I got from hanging with the likes of Ricky Sinz and Vinnie D'Angelo at the Expo.

Speaking of Ricky Sinz, I was in the area they used for smoking with Vin Nolan and Sergio Anthony, and Ricky Sinz came by. He had a hard-on, and he pulled it out to have that hot pink one-eyed monster peaking out of his underwear. We broke off into separate conversations after a couple of minutes. I later looked back at him, and saw his cock was still hard. NO, much to my chagrin, I didn't offer my ass and he fucked me so hard that my hole is still throbbing from his pounding, but I did reach over and feel it. It may not seem like much, but you must admit that it is better for your fantasy to touch it in some way than to just gawk at it and drool like a hungry dog.

Now speaking of the area used for smoking, it brought a bit more excitement to the evening. But not good excitement, because a fire broke out below that area. I went up there with Vin and Sergio, and we all including the couple of people already up there could smell fire. We were trying to figure out where it was coming from. Well THANKS to Vin, we found out where. The area's floor and walls are made of wood. Vin took his lighter and looked between the wall and floor, and looked below, and that's where we could see the fire. I saw it myself, and it wasn't small. In fact, the smoke got intense enough that after a couple of minutes of standing there, the smoke started hurting our eyes. For a time it seemed as if the party was over, because 2 fire trucks were called in, and the building was evacuated leaving some guys to go outside shirtless, and some performers to go outside in their underwear.

Although, some used the situation to be hams and use the fire truck as a backdrop.

Anyway, the party did resume, but after quite a few people left thinking that wasn't going to be the case. Especially with parts of the club closed off, such as the area where the shows were taking place.

With all that being said, do I feel that I will go next year. Most likely not, and that decision has nothing to do with the fire. It's because of everything I mentioned before. If I do attend, I will most definitely not be paying for a VIP ticket, because my only motivation will be to chill with friends of mine that might be there. So far that, I'll do what I did last year, and pay the general admission price. Because you know like they say, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it", while paying for a general admission ticket last year, I was happier with the end result. So this further solidifies the truth behind the saying of how you can't buy happiness.

The Expo's Back To SOME Exposin'

The 1st and last time I did the Gay Erotic Expo was in 2005 representing Tyson Cane videos. Since then I've had a number of people ask me in both 2006 and 2007, if I was going to be there or if Tyson Cane was doing anything. With the revelation of Tyson Cane true character coming to light, the latter was not of my concern. So my presence was solely based on me finding a quality company to be worthy of my representation.

Enter Knight Stick Films.

I won't rehash that entire story. Just do a search here for "Knight Stick Films" and one or more of those entries will tell all.

I was at the Gay Erotic Expo this year at the booth for Max Scott Events. Being that his events like WOOF at View Bar and G.R.U.F.F. at The Eagle have pornstars from a variety of studios as guests, it makes sense why I was sharing a space with pornstars from other studios like Vin Nolan, Tony Serrano, Vinnie D'Angleo, Raging Stallion Lifetime Exclusive, Ricky Sinz, as well as go-go boys Torez, Julio and Ray, and my co-stars from "All Out Assault", Mike Dreyden and Jason Grey.

Let me breakdown my thoughts on the fellow partners in crime that I met for the 1st time by working with them at Max Scott's booth.

First, Vinnie D'Angelo was such a sweetheart. who has that kind of nice plump ass that I love to grope while getting mine pounded.

Ricky Sinz

, whose explanation of my feelings about are going to be a bit verbose, because I have something to confess. That being how I didn't pay much attention while seeing him in movies like "Ink Storm" or "Hotter Than Hell". But after seeing him do his thing at G.R.U.F.F. at The Eagle, and standing right next to him and seeing that hot bod up close at The Gay Erotic Expo - let's just say if he was craving to release some tension by way of a fuck of savagery, I wouldn't object to being his prop for that release.

Tony Serrano, who is such a cute and sweet guy with 2 little dogs that everyone who came by our booth couldn't help but adore while lusting for him.

Julio and Ray, are two new go-go boys that Max Soctt hired. I saw them for the 1st time at G.R.U.F.F. the night before, but didn't meet them until the Expo. I seem to wind up in group sex scenarios on and off-camera, so to wind up being the 3rd wheel during the stage performance at the Expo was not a surprise. And considering how FUCKIN' HOT the 2 of them are, it was a more than welcomed surprise, because I was a lucky 3rd wheel.

I had alot of fun with these guys. They were all fun, and all professionals. Especially in dealing with something I found as the low point of Day 1. That being while most patrons were great, some came by asking me to take pictures of one of the other guys when they never acknowledged my presence there as being an entertainer as well. I understand not being your cup of tea, but I'm not there as a fellow patron or the hired help. After the 3rd time of this coming from some guy thinking he was Mario Van Peebles from the movie "Posse", I had my fill. I was going to do it at first, but whoever he wanted to take a picture of him with was busy talking to someone else. During that time, I decided enough of this shit, especially since this patron with the fuckfaced audacity to treat me like the help was Black himself. So I gave him back his camera and went back behind the booth.

Back to the fun.

To see the video I took of each performance, click on the pic of the performers. The sound isn't great at all. But that's not what you're concerned with most, are you?

I saw some GREAT entertainment there. Starting with Bobby Austin's boys from NudeMaleDancers.com. They're go-go boys from Montreal where they can perform nude. New York legislation needs to get that hypocritical prudence stick out of it's ass and start legalizing the same kind of performing here. That's why I like go-go dancing at Daniel Nardicio's parties. They're private parties where I can show my dick and be the raunchy little devil that I really am. No pretense required or admired.

Some talent there at the Expo, I've been lusting for a great deal. Such as Jake Cruise and his models, Jeremy Bilding, Zack Cook, and David Taylor. I can't tell you how many times I've beat my meat to the thought of being fucked by these guys. I was quite surprised to learn that I was thinking small. I'm referring to how big these guys actually are over me. You can see from the pic Jason Grey was kind enough to take of me with them, that I look like a midget standing next to these guys. BUT if I was thinking of them as not being that big in height, then I was most likely also wrong in thinking how big their cocks would be slipping and sliding in a willing mouth and ass like mine. There goes my imagination, running away with me again.

Anyway back in reality, I can't get over the boys from B.C. Productions. This is one ethnic company that I would like to give a whirl at working with. From their stage performance, these guys seems really into each other, instead of the interaction void of chemistry that I complained about in "Black Man Meet Black Man - Now Fuck!". I walked past their booth a couple of times, and make eye contact flirting with some of their models, and I got the same look from them this year that I got when I stopped by their booth last year as a patron. They looked at me as if the opportunity presents itself, my ass is in for a ram and pound session I won't soon forget. I did sent my pics, stats, and info to them, so you never know - that may be something you actually see sometime soon.

The one shortcoming to the event was how far we were allowed to go during the performances. While they were back from the boredom of the past 2 years, they were not back 100%. Even though it was a nice huge space, there wasn't any of the dicks out on stage to be sucked and rubbed against the ass like I experienced during my last appearance at the Expo. I don't know if this restraint was put into the effect by the venue, or the event organizers, but it's still causes the event to lose some of its appeal. It's an EROTIC Expo, so place my aforementioned statement about that "hypocritical prudence stick" here.

This Expo most definitely raised my adrenaline, and the horniness of me and the patrons. Hence why I was such a slut at Daniel Nardicio's Oktoberfist, which included me getting fucked by the guy from the fisting demonstration (among 2 other studs). He later offered to teach me how to take getting fisted, but I politely turned it down. Now with hotties like these lurking about, you can see how my ass was so hungry to have some stiff dicks hit the spot.

I will close by saving the best comment for last by saying that it was a great deal back from the sleep-fest many I spoke to found it to be for the past 2 years. Now, do I know if I'll be back next year? Only time will tell.

The K Files: The Line Is Drawn

If you recall my previous post in this series, you know that I've had problems with my inept superiors at the firm with the initials KKLLP. There has been a significant turn in the situation, and I've made it more than obvious that I'm not taking any of this lying down.

I've have since been written up for excesssive absence and lateness. While I admit to my lateness, (1)my abscences have not been excessive, and (2)they have since implemented a new way of days you're allowed to take off called OLP, which were at first allowed to be taken whenever you want, as long as you don't exceed the number you are allowed in a clanedar year. They have since claimed that days must be acrued. Now, if the powers that be expect to be respected, shouldn't they make up their minds of how these things are to be handled.

They tried making me sign a paper about that meeting and I refused. My mangager and HR Director didn't speak to me for a while because of my refusal. Besides disagreeing with the claim that I had excessive abscences, another reason I refused was because of the way my records were retrieved. They were retrieved by way of my keycard. If they used that same method with other co-workers (one in particular within my department) they would be in even worst shape than me, because while I may come in late 15-20 minutes late on a bad day, this person comes in 15 -20 minutes late like it's their regular time. While I admit to my wrongdoing in being late, proper managerial practices is to look over all of your employees, and not pick and choose. Especially when I'm prone to being singled out because I'm the one who takes a stand when they want above average work performance, yet treat us as less than average existence at the firm.

After awhile, we she decided to speak to me again, the HR Director laid it on thick with her fake greeting every morning to say "Good morning". I'm sure she doesn't like me considering the fact that I threatened her in the past with the fact that our previous mananger was doing things that were borderline to harassment to me and my co-workers. She attempted to laugh in my face, but it's obvious she said something to him, because he didn't bother my-co-workers for a good while. You see, since he got away with it for so long thanks to HR's incompetence, that there's no way he would totally stop on his own unless he reitred or died, and he did the latter. I didn't wish him death, but I most definitely glad his being the racist waste of space that he was is gone from here.

On September 24th and 25th, the firm was holding seminars for all of the employees telling us what our rights are and who to go to in order to make a complaint. Some of he firm's employees at the time I attended were the Human Resources Deaprtment.

The speaker at the seminar was an attorney for the KKLLP. I was getting increasingly annoyed because she kept forcing the idea of going to "internal channels of command". If you read between the lines (as I always do) you know the reason why this speaker was stressing "internal channels" was because the moment a complaint goes to an outside channel like the EEOC, the person making the complaint stands to possibly take the firm down if those claims are proven valid.

So with my annoyance towards her lawyer jargin, I asked the question even though I pretty much knew the answer already. I said, "You said that if we have a complaint to go to our supervisor. If we feel we can't trust our supervisor, then go to our supervisor. And if we can't trust our supervisor, then go to Human Resources. Now, what if you don't trust your Human Resources department, then who do you go to?"

With that question, I heard a chorus of gasps from the other employees.

The speaker stumbled her words at first, because like I said, she was trying so hard to sell us on the idea of keeping the situation within the firm. But her response was that if you can't trust HR, then go to the managing partners. To that response, I still considered to be bullshit. The reason why lies in this question I asked myself:

Why would I trust even the managing partners when they ignorance allowed someone inept as this HR Director to be in power as long as she has, putting the firm in jeopardy of being sued and/or investigated because of her overstepping the boundaries of her position?

Like I said, I pretty much knew the answer to the question before hand. So why did I ask the question while also being fully aware that people from Human Resources were in the room?

Because I was drawing the line.
The line between my being real, and the HR Director (with the initials DR) being a complete phony. Since I'm on the side of being real, if I don't like you I have no desire to talk to you. Actually not even wanting to be cordial and say, "Hello". While the HR Director is on the side of being phony.

I said before that this firm has become a revolving door of attorneys and staff spinning out of control. One of my friends at work is so in denial he actual said that constant coming and goings is the nature of the business. But my common sense over my 6 years of being here as a Mail Clerk compared to his 3 as a Paralegal give me an inside track to be able to watch how often I have to take on a new name, or remove one from my memory. And for the last couple of years to have a rate of change that is off the meter, and to include partners leaving the firm, shows that there is a definite problem.

Maybe I'll be one of the next staff members to go out of that revolving door never to return. If so, I know better things await me, because there are things going on right now for me that I can't make a parade over just yet. And even if I fall on my face, at least I took a stand with my integrity as my weapon of choice. So with that in mind to that HR Director I say----

-----"Your move, Bitch! If you think you can make a move to break me, give it a try. But you're sure to fail at that just as you have at being a worthwhile existence of a human being."

Getting Out The Kinks: Fuck Me All Geared Up

It's been awhile since I did a post for my "Getting Out The Kinks" series. So with this weekend containing so much horniness, I decided why not share another kink of mine.

I've always had a fantasy about being fucked by a guy wearing part of his uniform or some of his gear. You know, like a hunky repairman wearing only his tool-belt,

or a cop wearing not much more than his holster since it most definitely makes a hot ass more of a target,

or a football player wearing his shoulder gear. Maybe with his cock sticking out of his jockstrap so the friction of that elastic rubbing against his dick and balls while he's fucking me will make him have give me a massive cumbath when he shoots his load.

I've had that kink for years. This is one kink I'm not sure I can explain, but I will try anyway. Even though the hard-on it gives me makes me care less as to whether you get it or not, especially since I don't care if I get it myself. The most I can gather is 2 things:
(1) It's a another form of my kink for guys wearing fitted shirts;

and (2) that uniform or gear is a sign of the adventure that must be performed while wearing that uniform or gear. And since I am enamoured by a man of action, it makes perfect sense to be drawn to the sight of the gear they must wear during that action.

Now, with all that being said, all I need is some guy(s) willing to wear their gear while giving me a fuck, I'll never forget. For this kink, I must say that as far as I can see, I'll be a total bottom to play out this fantasy.

So any of you hotties in uniform or gear wanna play? Make sure it's firm fit for a firm ride ;-)

Get Well, Mason

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Subway Cruisin'

Yesterday, I paid my Mom a visit in Brooklyn. I got off the C train at 59th Street to transfer to a D train. Not too long after I went across the platform to wait for a D train, I saw this cute guy wander over a few feet from where I was standing. He was a White guy, brown hair, seemed that if he didn't have an athletic build of any kind, he definitely wasn't fat. He also seemed to have a nice little butt on him. All that and he was short. Now for me to call someone short means that he was shorter than my being a short guy at 5' 6".

This guy's being short didn't lessen his being HOT not one bit. The 1st guy I dated after coming out was shorter than me. He was a Libra (who are about just as horny as Aries - paging Owen Hawk), and a slim Cuban who after the 2nd time we had sex, he came from me riding his dick claiming that I made him come so hard that I made his balls hurt. And I was his willing bottom each time he was willing to fuck me be it 2, 3, or 4 times a day. The only reason it wasn't 5, 6, or more is because he always filled a good portion of our days with riding around in his car going somewhere. And based on that and my other experiences with shorter guys as tops (like one of the sexy Swedes) , I've come to the conclusion that they can give you a ride on your ass that outdoes some taller guys you may be lusting after.

Anyway, I seem to be getting off the topic, but you can see where my head was going looking at this guy. And evidently by his actions so was his.

I noticed 2 things: (1) he was peeping at me, and (2)he was slowly making his way to get closer to me. I was standing with inches between me and a pilar, and he in between 2 pilars on the subway platform. The next thing I know, he's leaning on the pilar next to me. As he moved closer, I noticed something else - while I didn't get the exact color, he saw that he had some beautiful light eyes. I imagined the intensity that they must show when he's having sex.

I just realized that I'm assuming this guy was a top, when he may have very well have been a bottom willing to give his plump ass up to me, and I would have gladly accepted. I guess because he was more aggressive in pursuit of me makes me come to that conclusion. My shyness is what didn't allow me to be more aggressive in this situation just like in The Power of Attraction.

When a train had finaly arrived on that track, it turned out being an A train, while I needed a D. But my possible hookup got on board the A. I could have easily got on as well, and while the train ran express between 59th and 145th Street, me and this cutey could have conversated to decided what we wanted, be it an exchange of phone numbers, a date, or a hook-up. Just to be sure I'm wasn't being over-confident about him being into me, I looked back just before the traindoors closed. I looked him in the eye, and he gave me a sexy smirk, and I return the same. So that action confirmed that this sexy little number was into me.

Who knows what could have happened had I got on that train, or if fate put us on the same train? But that hottie sure peaked my interest with thoughts of "shoulda, woulda, coulda's". Maybe if there's another prospective suitor, I'll get up the nerve and it'll be a tale of "wanted it, took it, fucked it". Stay tuned.

@Hot Jock, Some Blogs A-Hauntin'

Since I've started this blog, I have posted tales of my journeys to sex clubs and sex parties. But I don't recall ever blogging about more than 1 visit to a particular sex club or party, even if it's one that I have been to more than once. So this post may be a first.

I went to another Hot Jock party this past weekend. I wasn't going to go at first, because I have never gone to a party 2 consecutive times. It's my little hang-up about not appearing desperate to get laid. And it wasn't about that at all, because I have some guys more than willing to hook-up with me right now, and the feeling being quite mutual. My trip this time was more of an ego trip. I was sure word got to the organizer about my blog, and when I arrived, I discovered that it did. So once I got that ego stroking, I could have easily walked back out the door, because I got most of what I came for. I could have then just waited a few hours, then went to hang with my friend, Andrew who works at The Cock. But when I see cute guys with nice bods walking around in the undies, why would I want to leave so soon? Needless to say, I dropped trou, and hung out for a bit.

As time went on, a couple of my blog posts came back to haunt me - but in a good way.

First, I was fooling around with a blond hottie, and this other guy joined us. This other guy was hairy, bringing to mind my recent post about not shaving a hairy man. Thick eyes brows, hairy from his chest to his crotch, with a great ass. During our 3-way makeout session, I did get to bury my face in that bush of pubic hair while sucking his dick. I actually saw him when he first walked in, so this opportunity to fool around with him was very much welcomed. At one point, he left me and the blond, and right next to me, I got to see this guy fuck that cute ass of his. I definitely copped a feel of his ass bouncing while it was getting pounded. That wasn't the only time me and this hairy guy crossed paths. I get to our next encounter later on.

The next blog that haunted me was about my wanting to see Asian studs in more American-made gay porn. I witnessed some Asians top a couple of guys royally that night, and once again got the privilege to experience one's sexual prowess 1st hand, thereby proving my case made in those blog posts. A couple of Asian guys seemed to walk in together, then they went and did their separate things. One of them stood there looking at all the action, and had an amazing body. I made my way over to him , and he immediately took to me. He pulled out his cock, I played with it for a bit, then I couldn't contain myself. I had to suck it like a baby with a pacifier. He was already getting hard, and I made him totally hard. He got a condom, and I bent over ready to give the guys a show. One that undid 2 moronic misconceptions:(1)that Black guys are always tops, and (2) Asians guys can't top because of their little cock. Well there I was (a Black guy)bottoming for an Asian with a pretty nice sized cock who gave it to me doggy-style, and everyone standing around watching was getting off on it.

Bottoming for all them to see must have done something, because after that, some of the White guys who already saw me all of the sudden seemed to find me approachable. They probably left me alone before, because they were tops. If that's the case, I guess some Black guy had to bottom since the other Black guys there, as far as I saw, only topped. So if I had to only bottom for the sake of undoing that misconception, then it was worth it taking one(or in this case 2) for the team.

That second cock came later on, when me and the hairy stud crossed paths again. This time, I was standing there, and he was walking by and I thought he was going to walk past. Instead, he stopped as soon as he got next to me. He started feeling me up, I stood in front of him grinding my ass up against his semi-flaccid cock. I knew this was making him eager to fuck me, because once his cock got totally hard, he started slapping it against my ass, and sliding it up against my crack. As preparation, I had put a few condoms in my sock before entering the room. I reached down for one, and gave it to him. I laid down on the bed, because I was longing to be in missionary position before the night was over so I could squeeze some ass while getting fucked. And he did not disappoint. Just as I mentioned loving the feeling of that pubic hair hitting my ass, his unshaven pubes definitely satisfied me. Of course that was second to loving the intensity in which he fucked my ass. And I returned the favor by showing exactly why I like my tops to have a nice ass. I massaged his hot ass while I fucked his cock with my ass - and he loved it. I get off on making tops say "Oh yeah, give it to me", instead of ONLY moaning while they work my hole.

If you think my night was done, think again. I fooled around with another phenomenally fit Asian there who had a nice smooth round ass that I would have gladly either fucked or groped while getting fucked. I actually asked if I could fuck him, and he said he didn't really want an audience. He was right to think that would have happened, because the pounding I would have put on that sweet ass would have definitely drawn loads of attention. And speaking of "loads", that's what he wanted from me. He said he wanted to come, and he wanted me to shoot my load on him. So he sat on the bed with me in front of him, jerked off, and when I saw his load sprout from his cock like white lava from a volcano, I shot mine right after. And it was a pretty good load, too. Between all of the watching hot sex and having great sex, my balls had build up a pretty decent amount of cum. So this guy's torso was white from both of our loads.

If I go again anytime soon, I don't expect to have another tale to tell. But when I saw those blogs flashing in my mind because of these hotties coming up to me, I had to tell the tale of that night. At least, those blogs haunted me to react with a smile by knowing that I was right in what I said. Well, if a blog entry is going to haunt me at a sex party, I'm glad what I said in it played a part in getting me off by getting other's off.