I'm taking a couple days off writing my blog so I can enjoy and be the kinky guy that I am over the 4-day Thanksgiving weekend. A few places in NYC that I'm either considering or will definitely be attending are:
Wednesday: Daniel Nardicio's Horn O' Plenty (that's a definite. I'll be a patron taking advantage of the clothescheck option)
Thursday: Boys Gone Wild @ mr. Black (If I don't need to sleep off my full belly to gawk at their go-go boys)
Friday: Wishbone(r) @ The Eagle
Saturday: not completely sure, may make it a night of rest before -
- Sunday: Sperm @ The Cock
If you see me at any of these places, say "Hi", I don't bite - unless you want me to.
That freaky relief through my body and eyes will be just the relaxation I need before picking up from where I left off in writing my blog. Because right now, I'm working on is a 3-part series to show how the typical American gay male is his own worst enemy. And you can bet in my special brand of bluntness I will be putting some serious foot to ass by naming names of guilty parties from the 3 aspects I'll be listing.
Now, I hope all of you are aware of what you have to be thankful for. I for one am thankful for YOU.
I have been doing this blog for 3 years come January, and over that time, the responses I have gotten from fellow bloggers, people in the industry, as well as the general public is what gives me the nerve to take on the controversial subject matters that I take on. In fact, it's what keeps me taking on more issues that need to be addressed when no one else will, but should.
Your support means a great deal to me. Whether I agree with your view, or go on the attack with you because of my disagreeing with it, PLEASE BE AWARE that since I tend to touch on issues that are made hush-hush within the adult industry and gay culture in general, your point of view helps to start a much needed (for being long overdue) dialogue on those issues.
So with that in mind, I encourage you to stay SEXY by being yourself to be free. And be safe as you bask in your own lustin' season.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Fucked Up & Fucked So
Here are a couple more pics from my appearance at Porno Bingo this past Wednesday night:
Now, I'll backtrack to how alcohol played into the story.
It finally happened to me. I got caught up in the way of how some people will be so busy talking that they forget how many drinks they had. And I had a few toooooo many, especially since all of them were Screwdrivers. It all started when I calmly excused myself to go to the bathroom. I got up from the bar stool quite easily, fully aware that I was going to throw up. Once I did, that's when I realized not only how drunk I was, but the fact that I was drunk at all. I do recall stopping to throw up about 4 or 5 times before we got to our destination. And once there, I remember just falling out onto the couch. So these were by no means my finest hours.
After Porno Bingo, my friend visiting from out of town introduced me to a friend he brought with him from Texas. From the moment I saw him, I wanted to have a roll in the hay with him. Especially since when I do an event where I get naked, and see a guy I'm attracted to, I get especially horny and any guy I see who is as gorgeous as this guy is someone I want to let get closer to that nakedness. Mind you, that horniness last beyond the time I put my clothes back on. It's with me until someone has gotten close to by making me go back to that nakedness and joining me, then we either do mutual masturbation or the two or more of us wind up fucking. Then I later found out, he did at one point did a jerk-off scene for a porno. I WANT THE NAME OF THAT MOVIE.
Now, I'll backtrack to how alcohol played into the story.
It finally happened to me. I got caught up in the way of how some people will be so busy talking that they forget how many drinks they had. And I had a few toooooo many, especially since all of them were Screwdrivers. It all started when I calmly excused myself to go to the bathroom. I got up from the bar stool quite easily, fully aware that I was going to throw up. Once I did, that's when I realized not only how drunk I was, but the fact that I was drunk at all. I do recall stopping to throw up about 4 or 5 times before we got to our destination. And once there, I remember just falling out onto the couch. So these were by no means my finest hours.
I was still sleeping off the drunken mess that I was the night before, then I felt someone touching me. Not just touching me, but feeling me up. And my psychic sense played a part here being that it may not let me know exactly who the person is right away, but it does enable me to know whether or not the person is in some degree familiar, as well as whether or not the person is someone I want near me at all. So my psychic sense basically makes a summarized character fingerprints of a person, instead of an unique one. So in this case, while I was horny from being stripped down in front of cuties the night before, if this was someone I didn't want, I would have automatically jumped up and had a fit.
It turned out being that there was no need for such a reaction.
The guy feeling me up was my friend's buddy. Knowing that, you are well aware that I was not complaining. In fact, while I was a little dazed at first, that touch started me on coming out of it. I came out of it even more when he started sucking my dick. However, I was still dazed enough to where I can't recall how my pants came totally off of me. Did I take them off when I got to where they were staying? Did my friend's buddy take them off? OR did we both take them off in the heat of passion?
I do recall after sucking my cock a bit, he got on top of me, and started taking his pants off. One regret is that I never saw his cock, but I did have the pleasure of feeling it hard up against my skin wanting to either enter me at any moment, or shoot a load from my cock throbbing inside of him. And I'm not making this up. He did mention the possibility of either me topping him, or him topping me. And the more this played out, the more sober I became. To the point that when he asked if I had a condom, I sprung off that sofa, and ran over to my coat in the dark, to pull one of my own ONE condoms. I gave it to him, and it was on.
Even with my tight hole, I was still dazed enough that his dick slipped into me with no problem. But if I remember correctly, his cock wasn't exactly thin. And how could I remember wrong when you consider the fact that he did do a porno. I remember everything from me telling him how I wanted this from the moment I laid eyes on him, to the feel of his nice smooth ass in my hands as he thrusted into me, to knowing that I couldn't be my loud self so I passionately whispered things like, "Yes, fuck me! Give me your cock! Give it to me!"
And gave it to me he did. Since he hadn't come for more than a week according to him, the condom has a nice load in it (yes, the sight of cum in a condom turns me on). That needed relief also made it end quickly, but I am by no means complaining, because it was sooooooooo fuckin' good. I guess you could say he fucked so good that he fucked me back to sobriety. No joke. I came out of my daze with not so much as a headache. Proof of that was how afterwards, we had a great conversation talking about our experiences in porn. I do however feel I was making up for lost time, because I was talking a lot .
I do feel bad as to how it ended. It turned out, my friend wasn't supposed to bring anyone back with him, so even though they were leaving in a few hours, they got kicked out earlier than expected. But my presence wasn't the only one that caused a problem. It turns out that because of my drunken state, I was totally unaware that my friend and his buddy not only brought me back with him, but someone else who was helping them take care of me as well. So it turned out being that action wasn't only taking place downstairs. It was taking place upstairs as well.
Once outside walking to the train station, I saw the name of a familiar street, Monmouth. I thought to myself, "there's a Monmouth Street in Manhattan?", then I answered my own question with a"no". You see, Monmouth Street is the street I lived on when I first moved to Jersey City. So yes, I was so plastered that another revelation came to light. I was back in Jersey.
The one thing that bothers me looking back on that night is how people get that drunk when they're by themselves. I never drink that much, when I'm out solo, even if I meet someone that night, I wouldn't drink that much, because there's no guarantee that new "friend" will be there to see you through you. So with that in mind, I sent my friend my deepest apologies for putting him in such a predicament. Being the sweetheart that he is, he replied telling me to not sweat it. But being the perfectionist that I am, I can't help but sweat it.
Hence why I'm telling this story is my flawed judgement. Because I believe in owning up to when you fuck up. Plus it beats any Perez Hilton-like fuckfaces to the punch from telling of my flawed judgement when they need to focus on their own.
So go out and have fun by being safe and sober. Because while getting fucked sober was a pleasure. Sobriety from start to finish would have made it even more fun.
Friday, November 21, 2008
The Right Feng Sui @ Porno Bingo
I was a bit nervous about Wednesday night's Porno Bingo because of it being my 1st appearance in it's new space. I told Will Clark beforehand that I might be a bit more "on" than usual. I felt I could make that assumption about myself because of the performer in me feeds off the energy of the crowd. As much as I love the event of Porno Bingo, I believe the narrowness of its original home, the 9th Avenue Bistro didn't have the (I guess you could say) feng sui for me to take in the audience's energy properly, so being my own worst critic like most artist, didn't feel comfortable improvising. With Pieces Bar being a more wide open space, the energy flowed and I was on.
I was glad to see some hotties in the crowd including go-go stud Freddy Wolfe, and another pornstar, Lars Svenson.
Speaking of Lars, while I love a good hard primal fuck, I'm not as much of a fan of Lars, as I would like to be, because he usually comes off in scenes where you can foresee his roughness as soon as he steps into a frame. But when he walked in on Wednesday night, I wasn't even sure it was him. Because he looked like this tall, slim, blond-haired mild-mannered hottie, who therefore would surprise you if he had an edge on him. And that possibility (instead of obviousness like you see on screen) made me ready to drool over the sight of him that night. So much so that I flirted with him while I was onstage guest calling a round, and we were wagging our tongues at each other. Yes, the energy flowed just right for me that I loosened up more that night than at previous Porno Bingo appearances, as I predicted. And this was without even 1 drop of alcohol in my system. Alcohol however will play a part in part 2 of this story later.
After seeing a couple of performances at BAAD! when asked what night I wanted to appear, I was more than willing to volunteer my time on BAAD!'s behalf. With the comic relief from drag king Macha and drag queen Appolonia Cruz, the neo-soul musical stylings of Nohjj, PLUS being reunited with former castmate, Johnathan Cedano, from the independent film I did in my mainstream entertainment days called "Jaded", it was an extremely fun night. I even wound up signing just above a woman's breast. To all you hetero-phobes out there who are irked by that bit of news. Tough TITTY! Bi-guys like myself revel in moments like that.
And I held true to my usual way of wearing unusual underwear, while I was wearing this in Black:
Now, see what you missed.You missed out on the chance to take me out of this jockstrap that just like it looks in the picture, snaps off from the sides and front, with the front if unsnapped would have revealed to you my dick in a built-in cockring. Which would have meant more time to savor taking it off of me.
One of the guys in the final bidding war was a gorgeous redhead who happened to be a dancer - and you know how I feel about dancers. YUMMY! Participating to help out the charity, a friend of mine who was visiting from out of town won. While I greatly applaud and appreciate my friend's participation, you know I was lusting for the redhead to win, so an exciting evening could begin. Well, at least he got to watch my friend take the jockstrap off of me, so he got to see some parts of me I wanted to show him. He just didn't get a chance to get up close and personal with them. But at what seems to be becoming a new tradition with me appearances at Porno Bingo, someone did get up close and personal with those parts later on. But I'll save both that tale, and about the alcohol for tomorrow.
Consider this post, to be just like me -----a tease ;-)
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Erotic Poetry: Lustin' Season
I seem to be getting alot of attention lately. I have prospects that I've met online, at bar night parties, and there's even a possibility of some on my day job. I started thinking, "What is going on here?" All of the sudden I have more sexual prospects now then I've ever had since my coming out about 6 1/2 years ago. Then again, I have been going out more than ever before, even to bars, which before was quite rare, but it's always for an event night. Maybe that's why my prospects have suddenly widened. Widened -just like my asshole from the big cocks I've been accommodating. Luckily, I do Kegels to keep my rep for having a tight hole.
Whenever something has a profound effect on me, if it doesn't become a regular blog post, it becomes lyrics instead. And this new found babe magnet I've seem to have become lately, definitely has had a profound effect on me, because I never expected this, nor am I letting it go to my head. It's just that my expressing its effect came with a sensual rhythm and erotic words. So I'm just safely having fun with it, and I hope you do too by way of these lyrics.
Is it the season
Sparking your fire
To give me some signs
I'm a new desire?
Has it been in you all along
Or am I misreading your eyes?
Then why the need to talk
Making idle chatter?
Is a part of you
Getting longer and fatter?
With every single word you speak
Do you hope one day to make me weak
And drop down on my knees?
Kneeling to worship yours
And bring you closer to cream
With senses tingling in some ways
You thought were only in dreams
Whenever something has a profound effect on me, if it doesn't become a regular blog post, it becomes lyrics instead. And this new found babe magnet I've seem to have become lately, definitely has had a profound effect on me, because I never expected this, nor am I letting it go to my head. It's just that my expressing its effect came with a sensual rhythm and erotic words. So I'm just safely having fun with it, and I hope you do too by way of these lyrics.
Is it the season
Sparking your fire
To give me some signs
I'm a new desire?
Has it been in you all along
Or am I misreading your eyes?
Then why the need to talk
Making idle chatter?
Is a part of you
Getting longer and fatter?
With every single word you speak
Do you hope one day to make me weak
And drop down on my knees?
Kneeling to worship yours
And bring you closer to cream
With senses tingling in some ways
You thought were only in dreams
I'm not so hot
That I'm the cat's meow
Yet many eyes on me
Seem on the prowl
So much attention is new to me
The sexual tension needs to be set free
So it's not just you
I'm feeling it, too
With such sexy prospects
Who will I choose
For a back and forth dance inside
Or flip the script for the hottest ride?
My loins throb to be satisfied
Whoever wins me
Better prepare to get wet
Time is running out to make a show
That we won't forget
Tick-tock
My body's clock
It's tickin'
Just won't stop
Craving to tick as one with yours
Even if it's just
One night
It's for lust
Not love's plight
As long as we're both aware
We can be fully prepared
Let's go and bask in this lustin' season
And soothe that itch made by primal reason
Cause our bodies are cravin'
Some misbehavin'
Don't let the sun set on this time
That we have this fever to be in twined
©2008
That I'm the cat's meow
Yet many eyes on me
Seem on the prowl
So much attention is new to me
The sexual tension needs to be set free
So it's not just you
I'm feeling it, too
With such sexy prospects
Who will I choose
For a back and forth dance inside
Or flip the script for the hottest ride?
My loins throb to be satisfied
Whoever wins me
Better prepare to get wet
Time is running out to make a show
That we won't forget
Tick-tock
My body's clock
It's tickin'
Just won't stop
Craving to tick as one with yours
Even if it's just
One night
It's for lust
Not love's plight
As long as we're both aware
We can be fully prepared
Let's go and bask in this lustin' season
And soothe that itch made by primal reason
Cause our bodies are cravin'
Some misbehavin'
Don't let the sun set on this time
That we have this fever to be in twined
©2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
2 Nights Of Me...Stripped Down With A Smile?
Within the next 48 hours, it will be my next Porno Bingo appearance, and I couldn't be more excited. In preparation for November 19th, I took that day off from my day job so that I'll be well-rested when I arrive. Ready and willing to get stripped down wearing only my skivvies and a smile. I'm also taking the next day off, because (1) I don't plan on going right home, whether alone or with friend(s), I'm hanging out afterwards to celebrate, and (2) I don't really care to see all those whining wannabe-god-attorneys and the pathetically submissive co-workers at the law firm I work at the day after having what I'm sure will be a FUN night.
So remember, Will Clark's PORNO BINGO is held every Wednesday night from 8 - 10 PM at Pieces Bar which is located at 8 Christopher Street (@ 6th Avenue), NYC, with my guest appearance being THIS WEDNESDAY from 8 - 10 PM.
Last week, I was posting bulletins on MySpace, DList, and Facebook telling of my being a competitor in the Monster's Go-Go Idol contest here in NYC. I am progression to the next round, so my Thursday night that I thought was going to be free, isn't anymore. But considering how last week turned out, I'm not complaining.
Because you see, whether I go to the next round or not, as for right now, I'm getting to gawk at some hot guys when I'm backstage. All of whom might I add would be great candidates for my fantasy of being gang-banged by a bunch of go-go boys. So I'm going to ride (not their cocks.... yet, but) this contest out for as long as the judges and the crowd will let me. I mean coming in to stand so close to hotties with fit physiques wearing only either a g-string, briefs, or jockstrap, a horndog like me can't help but get a great start at getting inspired to do a sexy dance. The continued inspiration will come from the audience, so come down, and be my inspiration.
The next week of Go-Go Idol will be held on Thursday night November 20th at The Monster, which is located at 80 Grove Street (@ Sheridan Square) in New York City.
I hope to see you at both events with my pants off ;-)
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Tré's Good When He's With The BAAD!
So come down to Pieces Bar this Wednesday, November 19th, when I'll be a guest caller, and when I leave, I can go and cum buckets.
I've mentioned before my upcoming appearance this week at Will Clark's PORNO BINGO on November 19th. So what's the deal with the 1st line of this blog post?
I'm just using the scientific fact that wearing less confining underwear leads to bigger cumloads, because besides all the other great prizes like a book from the STARZ series that you can win from a round of PORNO BINGO, I've agreed to let my underwear be auctioned off. So whoever wins the auction will be making me go home commando, because I have no intention of bringing a spare pair. And I just might make a video of the result of my going commando if I leave there to play alone. With that in mind, I'm sure you hope I don't leave there with the intent of sharing it with anyone, unless it's you.
If you've seen me at past Porno Bingo appearances, then you know that I don't wear common underwear. So get ready to feast your eyes on something goooood.
All of this will be to help the beneficiary of the evening, BAAD! (Bronx Academy of Arts and Dance). A great cause with the arts being such a vital resource to our human need for expression.
So once agian, come share some fun with me, and the gang on Wednesday, November 19th at Will Clark's PORNO BINGO held at Pieces Bar, 8 Christopher Street (@ 6th Ave.), NYC.
Hope to see you there :-)
I've mentioned before my upcoming appearance this week at Will Clark's PORNO BINGO on November 19th. So what's the deal with the 1st line of this blog post?
I'm just using the scientific fact that wearing less confining underwear leads to bigger cumloads, because besides all the other great prizes like a book from the STARZ series that you can win from a round of PORNO BINGO, I've agreed to let my underwear be auctioned off. So whoever wins the auction will be making me go home commando, because I have no intention of bringing a spare pair. And I just might make a video of the result of my going commando if I leave there to play alone. With that in mind, I'm sure you hope I don't leave there with the intent of sharing it with anyone, unless it's you.
If you've seen me at past Porno Bingo appearances, then you know that I don't wear common underwear. So get ready to feast your eyes on something goooood.
All of this will be to help the beneficiary of the evening, BAAD! (Bronx Academy of Arts and Dance). A great cause with the arts being such a vital resource to our human need for expression.
So once agian, come share some fun with me, and the gang on Wednesday, November 19th at Will Clark's PORNO BINGO held at Pieces Bar, 8 Christopher Street (@ 6th Ave.), NYC.
Hope to see you there :-)
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Internationally Googled
I've seen this happen before now it's happening again. Actually it has always been there, but not to this magnitude. I'm talking about checking the stats of my website and finding out the people coming to my site are from a variety of countries. Within the past few weeks alone, there have been Google searches leading to my site from the usuals of America and the U.K., then comes the occasional Australia and Canada, but the newbie countries to name are Spain, Senegal, and get this - homophobia-ridden Jamaica.
P.S., To all those in the New York City area on November 19th, I hope to greet you all at Will Clark's Porno Bingo.
I may call Jamaica "homophobia-ridden", but while I'm not lying based on what I've overheard through the years from actual straight Jamaicans on their feelings towards gays, I do greatly appreciate the Jamaican fans I may have just like I appreciate my fans all over the globe.
When I do an appearance like at Will Clark's PORNO BINGO, I've recently come to realize that fans being all over the globe is probably why a select few come to actually see me. Maybe since I seem to be suddenly growing in popularity for some reason, that will change come November 19th.
From all my friends lists on MySpace, DList, and Facebook, as well as my Yahoo! group, I realize that my fanbase is spread out with some here and some there, both all over the country and all over the globe. I actually find that very flattering. I have a feeling some, but not all of the big name pornstars here in the US don't get as much recognition overseas. Porn actors of colors, however seem to be a different story. The bigger names in ethnic porn are all noticed. In fact, even I myself recently found someone from overseas recognizing me from my work with Pitbull Productions.
A perfect example of this is from FlavaWorks star, Breion Diamond. A few months ago, Breion told me about how he was amazed when he went to Paris, and a Parisian approached him fascinated, and calling him by name. Between that story, my story, and the success of Pitbull's "Tiger's Eiffel Tower: Paris Is Mine" I have reason to believe that ethnic porn probably has a bigger following amongst European Whites than it does here with American Whites. The reasons why that is such a shame will be dealt with in an upcoming blog series.
Whether it's a shame or not, I can't express enough how appreciative I am to know that I have sparked an interest in people outside of the U.S. along with those fans I already have here. And they're not only going to my website, but making their way to this blog as well. I just hope that I can keep entertaining and educating you by what I do and say in movies, my appearances, and my words on this blog.
Thank you wholeheartedly and B.U2B. FREE,
P.S., To all those in the New York City area on November 19th, I hope to greet you all at Will Clark's Porno Bingo.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
ULTIMATE STARZ - The Turn Out
I got a copy of ULTIMATE STARZ from STARbooks Press. STARbooks Press was kind enough to donate the entire STARZ series as part of the prize packages for my November 19th appearance at Will Clark's Porno Bingo. I plan on autographing the copy of ULTIMATE STARZ given to the winner of the gift bag from that round of Porno Bingo. With the beneficiary being BAAD! (Bronx Academy of Arts & Dance), it's my way to say "Thanks for your part of donating to a good cause".
I was very happy with how the interview turned out. In fact, I don't recall any editing, or (to be more exact) cutting out of what I had to say no matter how controversial it may have been in lighting a fire under some producers, directors, and maybe even fellow porn actors.
Sometimes I feel I made a big mistake in choosing a stage name that has me most likely to placed dead last if one chooses to call names in alphabetical order. For a moment, I felt the same way about ULTIMATE STARZ, but after careful thought, I see that thanks to the editing, you can say that I close the show. Not just because of my words, but even more so in my opinion, because of the photos of me they used. The 2 photos they used just happen to be photos that many seem to like, but it's where they put the 2nd photo that makes all the difference.
It's on the very last page of the interview. Me in all my rear raunchy glory. I won't give you a pic here. BUY THE BOOK, SEE THE PIC.
And get this, my Mom read the interview. I don't know how much she read, but she read enough. Including a quote they put in bold print where I talk about cock sizes by length and width. She thought my asshole must be stretched to an unhealthy degree because she mistakenly thought of "width" meaning inches from left to right of the cock, instead of "width" meaning inches around the cock (or it's more mathematic term, circumference) as we normally do when we speak of cock sizes.
Now, I'm not giving out any more details about myself or any of the hotties featured in the book. Therefore, if you want more info, you either have to buy your own, or come down to Porno Bingo and try winning it on November 19th.
I was very happy with how the interview turned out. In fact, I don't recall any editing, or (to be more exact) cutting out of what I had to say no matter how controversial it may have been in lighting a fire under some producers, directors, and maybe even fellow porn actors.
Sometimes I feel I made a big mistake in choosing a stage name that has me most likely to placed dead last if one chooses to call names in alphabetical order. For a moment, I felt the same way about ULTIMATE STARZ, but after careful thought, I see that thanks to the editing, you can say that I close the show. Not just because of my words, but even more so in my opinion, because of the photos of me they used. The 2 photos they used just happen to be photos that many seem to like, but it's where they put the 2nd photo that makes all the difference.
It's on the very last page of the interview. Me in all my rear raunchy glory. I won't give you a pic here. BUY THE BOOK, SEE THE PIC.
And get this, my Mom read the interview. I don't know how much she read, but she read enough. Including a quote they put in bold print where I talk about cock sizes by length and width. She thought my asshole must be stretched to an unhealthy degree because she mistakenly thought of "width" meaning inches from left to right of the cock, instead of "width" meaning inches around the cock (or it's more mathematic term, circumference) as we normally do when we speak of cock sizes.
Now, I'm not giving out any more details about myself or any of the hotties featured in the book. Therefore, if you want more info, you either have to buy your own, or come down to Porno Bingo and try winning it on November 19th.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Gotta Kick Myself: Porn Regrets Born
While many of us are basking in the joy of Barrack Obama becoming the Presidential Elect, along with this great new day, comes our duties of a normal day such as my entertaining and educating you with this blog.
The subject matter has nothing to do with this year's election. While I am quite proud of the outcome, I am more than aware that enough has been said and will be said about it to choke a horse. So I would like to present a good sidetrack, if you will.
I am someone who lives their lives with few regrets. If I fuck up, I just deal with the consequences and take them as a lesson to be learned, which is why I should have no regrets. That has changed recently with me hearing of Nickolay Petrov pleading guilty to pretty much being a killer for hire. When I read a post on Men Of Color Blog about it, I posted this comment that explains my regret:
First off, let me apologize for the length of this commentary.
In my interview in ULTIMATE STARZ, I was asked if I was making a movie called, "Tre X's Orgy" who would I want as my four co-stars.
I chose Nickolay Petrov as one of those four. And that is the one and only answer I regret giving in that entire interview.
It's scary to think that the one time I would have put my disdain for "gay-for-pay" actors aside, I would have wound up having my ass pounded by a guy with so much anger in denying his true self that he lets it out by way of violence towards others. Maybe that's why he fucks like a primal beast? Realizing that may be the case, what I used to love seeing, I now no longer do.
And he's not the only proof of this. Marcus Allen, Mark Dalton, and an actual past scene partner of mine, Double R are also "gay-for-pay" actors accused of violent crimes. With "gay-for-pay" actors being the most (maybe only) type of gay porn actors accused of violent crimes makes the "gay-for-pay" hype even more scary.
Producers, directors, and fans need to ask themselves what I did about Nickolay, "What the hell are we doing hyping up these cowards in self-denial."
At least I'm admitting to my poor judgement. When will the rest do the same?
While I regret naming Nickolay, I am still looking at how as they say "every cloud has a silver lining". That cloud being the racism within the gay porn industry. This is a case where that racism may have very well saved me from having to regret something worst that fantasizing about Nickolay Petrov. That regret being of actually being in a scene with Nickolay Petrov, just as I regret the one I did with Double R. So odd as it may seem to say, I may very well need to say at least in this case, "Thank you, Racism. You saved me some regrets."
With that in mind, I wonder how do guys like Kurt Wild feel knowing they were fucked by a killer for hire. Then again, Kurt Wild is a bad example, because he's also "gay-for-pay" insisting he's straight while he's married with children, so may be very well have that same violence by way of self-denial pumping through his veins. And I know from which I speak because while I admit here and now that I have a bad temper, it was way more out of control before I came to terms with the truth of my sexual orientation.
So on this great day in American history, just as many should soon come to regret their lack of faith in our Presidential elect, since I am not that foolish, I have a different regret that's nowhere near as bad in its place. And while I'm kicking myself for it, I hope during the next 4 years, those others have regrets that makes them need to kick themselves much harder.
The subject matter has nothing to do with this year's election. While I am quite proud of the outcome, I am more than aware that enough has been said and will be said about it to choke a horse. So I would like to present a good sidetrack, if you will.
I am someone who lives their lives with few regrets. If I fuck up, I just deal with the consequences and take them as a lesson to be learned, which is why I should have no regrets. That has changed recently with me hearing of Nickolay Petrov pleading guilty to pretty much being a killer for hire. When I read a post on Men Of Color Blog about it, I posted this comment that explains my regret:
First off, let me apologize for the length of this commentary.
In my interview in ULTIMATE STARZ, I was asked if I was making a movie called, "Tre X's Orgy" who would I want as my four co-stars.
I chose Nickolay Petrov as one of those four. And that is the one and only answer I regret giving in that entire interview.
It's scary to think that the one time I would have put my disdain for "gay-for-pay" actors aside, I would have wound up having my ass pounded by a guy with so much anger in denying his true self that he lets it out by way of violence towards others. Maybe that's why he fucks like a primal beast? Realizing that may be the case, what I used to love seeing, I now no longer do.
And he's not the only proof of this. Marcus Allen, Mark Dalton, and an actual past scene partner of mine, Double R are also "gay-for-pay" actors accused of violent crimes. With "gay-for-pay" actors being the most (maybe only) type of gay porn actors accused of violent crimes makes the "gay-for-pay" hype even more scary.
Producers, directors, and fans need to ask themselves what I did about Nickolay, "What the hell are we doing hyping up these cowards in self-denial."
At least I'm admitting to my poor judgement. When will the rest do the same?
While I regret naming Nickolay, I am still looking at how as they say "every cloud has a silver lining". That cloud being the racism within the gay porn industry. This is a case where that racism may have very well saved me from having to regret something worst that fantasizing about Nickolay Petrov. That regret being of actually being in a scene with Nickolay Petrov, just as I regret the one I did with Double R. So odd as it may seem to say, I may very well need to say at least in this case, "Thank you, Racism. You saved me some regrets."
With that in mind, I wonder how do guys like Kurt Wild feel knowing they were fucked by a killer for hire. Then again, Kurt Wild is a bad example, because he's also "gay-for-pay" insisting he's straight while he's married with children, so may be very well have that same violence by way of self-denial pumping through his veins. And I know from which I speak because while I admit here and now that I have a bad temper, it was way more out of control before I came to terms with the truth of my sexual orientation.
So on this great day in American history, just as many should soon come to regret their lack of faith in our Presidential elect, since I am not that foolish, I have a different regret that's nowhere near as bad in its place. And while I'm kicking myself for it, I hope during the next 4 years, those others have regrets that makes them need to kick themselves much harder.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Will Clark's Contest Wants Your Best Jerk-Off Tale
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Saturday, November 1, 2008
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