Half-Assed Aggression

It happened again.

I was cruised by another hottie on the subway, and I this guy made me more horny than the last guy I was cruised by. I was riding the C train, and I forgot what stop he got in the train on, but I noticed him the second he walked in the door. I believe he noticed me as well which is probably why he decided to sit in the one empty spot (of about half the train) directly across from me. I believe he was Latino, and he had a ponytail. I've always wanted to have sex with a guy with long enough hair to make a ponytail. If he's a top and lets that ponytail loose, and is good in bed, then his hair (in addition to his ass) is another place for me to run my fingers while he's giving it to me good. But if he's a bottom, I can gently pull it while fucking him doggy-style.

He sat down in front of me, and I felt his eyes on me. I looked up for a quick second, and our eyes met. I tried this out repeatedly to see if I was just imagining it, but I wasn't. And once I was sure, I would look up and twitch a smile at him. He got off and 42nd Street, and he keep looking back at me, even as he was walking up the stairs. I thought to myself, "Follow him, he's a fuckin' hottie!"

A hottie he most certainly was. I could easily see myself dominating that little body, and being dominated by his little body, with the latter being the hotter picture for me. Yes, I love extremes. So it should be no surprise that I love guys much shorter than me (not necessarily little people) pounding my ass, just as much as I like a well-built muscular guy over 6 feet tall giving my ass the business.

Which brings me to my revisiting the aggressiveness of these shorter guys. The 1st guy I dated after coming out was shorter and thinner than me, so I've never been one dumb enough to assume that because a guy is short, that he must be a bottom. Or that he can't be aggressive. That 1st guy, both subway cruisers, and even Shorty J definitely made their intentions known to me.

Now as to why I allowed these subway cruisers' aggressiveness be for naught by not taking them up on their supposed offer is something that makes me have to look at myself . And the conclusion I've come to is that the reason why I don't respond so quickly is because while I'm secure with my sexual orientation and displaying it fully amongst others willing to watch, I'm not comfortable displaying it in the general public with the attitude of "they'll watch it whether they like it or not".

I'm just getting comfortable with holding hands with a guy out in public, so it shouldn't be much of a surprise that being cruised so publicly is a bit unnerving to me. For a couple of reasons:

1) me feeling that I'm not as cute as many people say I am, so why are these people so eager to get with me; and 2) I'm worried that these people seeming so public might be a set-up for a bias attack. I know some relationships actually start by such a chance meeting, but you can't always be so sure that people have your best interest at heart.

When these situations happen, I'm always hoping that if they're that eager, that much the real deal in being a self-assured gay/bi man, that instead of just being aggressive enough to stare at me, they would be aggressive enough to take the next logical step and say something. I mean you can talk only with your eyes for but so long before you actually have to make conversation with your mouth. If you're going to be the aggressor, then BE THE AGGRESSOR. That's what happened with the French guy I hooked up with from "French Kiss, Big Bliss". He looked at me, then I looked at him. We kept looking at each other, then he eventually came up to me and said, "Either we can keep looking at each other, or one of us can say 'Hi'".

That being the aggressor is exactly what won me over that night. And the memory of it (along with the great sex) is why we're still in touch so the next time he comes here, OR I should vacation in France, he's earned another bout of "playtime" with me. Because unlike those subway cruisers, he didn't give me some half-assed aggression.

Now you may be saying that those subway cruisers were probably shy just like me, and in response I'm stating that you shouldn't initiate something that you're not man enough to take the steps in making your desires come to fruition. I didn't start these possibilities, they did, and unlike the Frenchman, they never took the steps to see it through, while I made myself available to give them the time if they were for real.

So as you go on your travels via buses, subways, trains, and/or planes, be true to those who are true to you and themselves and

HAVE A SAFE & MERRY CHRISTMAS.