Write That Down #24

Every individual has a certain body type that they go for. I am well aware of this, and respect it in people. However, they are some body types within certain ethnicities that because of the media, I question whether or not some people's presumed preference is of their own personal nature, OR was it taught to their sub-conscience. It is when I suspect the latter that I don't respect it.

Hence why my latest "Write That Down" quote reads:

When I see Whites, light-skinned Latinos, Asians, etc. go for Blacks guys who are usually tall, dark-skinned, brawny, obvious gym-rats (and often bald), I don't trust them to be individual thinkers. They have to work for that faith in their intellect. My distrust of these non-Blacks' preference is actually because fashion, porn, and other media have so often put the image of these combined traits of a Black male as the only way that dark skin can be seen as beautiful, that it has gotten to the point for me that I can't trust whether a non-Black guy is into this type of Black male on his own, or is it because he has allowed his sub-conscience to be taught to like that type, while his true personal nature prefers more variety in Black males.

This "Write That Down" quote may piss off quite a few non-Blacks. Some I may actually know. But in my usual fashion, I don't give a fuck...and I have no reason to give a fuck, because I'm telling the truth that many non-Blacks (be they your average citizen, or work as photographers, party promoters, porn producers, magazine editors, etc.) who choose that type of Black male over a simply toned physique need to ask themselves that question.

And whether or not they admit it, I'm sure they're scared to take that look at themselves. Why? Because they know that if they do (if the clone-like appearance of these guys from an issue of Next Magazine I commented on are any indication), then as usual....I'LL BE RIGHT!

For the record, I have asked myself whether my liking complexions lighter than my own is of my own design, or by the media. And I will admit, it may have started out partly by the media. BUT after closer examination, I realized that my natural artistic eye is drawn to the color contrast and novelty, as I said in "Write That Down #6". Furthermore, considering the fact that I'm more drawn to tall and slim guys like I said in "In Lust With....Tall & Slim", is even more proof that this preference is of my own design, and not influenced by the media, especially gay media. For tall & slim guys are not what gets the most praise in gay media. We all know that it's lighter complexioned gym-rats who get the most praise.

Lastly, before you try saying that this quote shows me to be cynical, or envious, I'm going to let you in on a fact. A fact that despite all the compliments I have gotten over the years, I have been humble enough to not reveal before. Truth be told....

....I LOVE MY 5' 6", 145 LBS. TONED PHYSIQUE.

And I wouldn't changed it to be some buffed up gym-rat to please White American narrow-minded perception of Black beauty for even all the money in the world.

Date Me For "Four"

Jessica Ransom, who you may recall from my post, "Help Me Help OURsceneTV Cover Racism!", is working as a Consulting Producer on an independent film in development entitled, "Four". She recently announced via email that she was planning a fundraiser, and part of the fundraiser was to hold a Date Auction, and she needed contestants.

I volunteered to be one of the auction's contestants.

Now, it think my most loyal readers have gotten to know me well enough to know that I don't involve myself in something like this unless I believe in it. And when I read the synopsis of the film, I became a believer in this project. The synopsis reads:

On the Fourth of July in Hartford, June, a white teenage boy, meets up with a closeted, married black man. On the same night, in the same city, this man's sixteen-year-old daughter agrees to go out with Dexter, a twenty-year-old low-level drug dealer. In and around the city, on the American night of independence, these two couples get to know each other, moving from strangers to intimates. In lonely landscapes of movie theaters, fast food restaurants, darkened churches and public parks, they discover the limits of desire and the possibilities for transcendence.


And here is the info about the fundraiser:

RF Lounge and Film Producer, Christine Giorgio invite you to a night of schmoozing and boozing to benefit the LGBT independent film titled "FOUR."  Come celebrate the indie spirit with dancing, raffle prizes, and a date auction.  RF's resident DJs will be spinning amazing tunes and award-winning promoter Maggie C Events, www.maggiecevents.com, will be one of the many sponsors of the night.  A suggested donation of $10 at the door will get you one raffle ticket and one free shot provided by RF Lounge.  Additional raffle tickets can be purchased for a chance to win one-of-a-kind prizes, including original photography prints.  All proceeds benefit the upcoming production of the movie "FOUR."

Visit www.rflounge.com for more info.

Time and address is:

Thursday, September 2, 2010

@7 PM

RF Lounge

531 Hudson Street

New York, NY 10014

I hope to see your sexy selves there placing bids for a date with me, and helping someone's creative process come to fruition. Thanks.

The "16th & 8th" Trailer

Well you saw the behind-the-scenes slideshow I made featuring me in the blog post, "Me, The Crying Boy on 16th & 8th". Now, here's the official 1st trailer for the gay soap opera pilot of "16th & 8th".

Do you like it? Good.

 For its adult content, they're pitching it to stations like HBO and Starz.

So go post your comments on YouTube to better the chances that it gets picked up.

Thanks!

Goal Chaser's Void & My Wasted Time

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Write That Down #23

Many feel I have the spirit that would make me a good activist. In fact, after posting one of my pieces for MOC Blog, the blog's author,Victor Hoff bestowed upon me being an "activist" as one of my titles. I never questioned him about why he said it, because I know my writings show that I have that kind of fire. And actually, that is the intent of my writings. However, unlike most activists, I'm not trying to inspire change in people's attitude outside the LGBT community. I'm trying to inspire change from those within. And it is because of that desire to a change the attitude of those within our community that I am not taking part in any of the "popular" gay issues, like marriage equality and "Don't Ask, Don't Tell".

There is too much to correct amongst ourselves, so I AM NOT DOING IT!

I posted a status update on Facebook recently, and when I did, I told myself that it didn't belong there. Because over the next few days, it was going to fade too easily from being seen by people. Well, since I caught it the next day, I decided to copy and paste it here for all of you who might not be friends of mine on Facebook. And for those who recall seeing it on Facebook, you will notice that I elaborated more on what I had to say because Facebook only allows 420 characters for status updates. So my latest "Write That Down" quote is as follows:

From the displays of ageism, racism, sexism, and many other "-isms" by way too many gays from everyday life to nightlife to the porn world, there's a valid reason why I don't chime in on the "it" issues of gay rights activism. It's because with such shady behaviors, the united front that we present to the powers-that-be is only a "portrayal". It is not real. And a "portrayal" of a united front is a betrayal to both ourselves, and the powers-that-be. Therefore, I will not be at peace taking a stand by just "portraying" a united front. My integrity makes me demand to BE a united front.

Help Me Present "The Industry"

Lately, I've been working on some poetry. One of them I feel really needs an audience. It's about the porn industry. There's a story in the poem that I don't want to give away, but once you hear it, you'll get the story and the bottom line about the porn industry. And it may or may not be contrary to all the sexiness seen in my on-screen life in the gay porn industry shown in the collage below.

I'm writing this post to ask of you readers, if you know of some places in New York City that holds "Open Mic Nights" for poets, to please inform me of them so that I may get in contact with them. I want to present this piece to a live audience. And please keeps some things in mind with the places you suggest:
(1) No language restrictions: This poem does have very graphic language, and I need a space that will allow me to not sugar-coat the subject matter.
(2) Video-recording allowed: I want my reading recorded, because I plan to debut the poem to the internet audience via this blog, and video websites.

The latest I want to debut the video is within a week before September 23, 2010, because on September 23rd of last year, I posted the blog entry announcing my official retirement from the gay porn industry, "R.I.P. Tre Xavier - Porn Actor". So this poem is a part of the reflecting I will be doing about what I've learned this past year since my retiring from gay porn on the who and what I was when I got in the gay porn industry, and who and what I've become since retiring from it.

With all that in mind, you can respond with some names either by comments here, or by my email address: TreXavier@rocketmail.com.

I will GREATLY appreciate it. Thank you.

Getting Out The Kinks: Pre-Sex Spandex

SPANDEX.

It's a material we see every time we go to a gym, on every guy wearing a form-fitting muscle shirt, on every woman wearing a sports bra, every cyclist wearing biker shorts, etc. 

For many, wearing and/or seeing people in spandex if has become a sexual kink. I must admit....that I AM ONE OF THOSE MANY. Hence why I'll very likely will be at the next Skin Tight U.S.A. party at Stonewall Inn.

One thing my "Getting Out A Kinks" category is known for (as a psycho-analyst I briefly dated once told me) is that not only do I tell what I like, but I go deep enough into it to tell why I like it. Well as the old saying goes, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it". So I already told you the "what". Now, lets get to the "why".

I think the reason why is pretty simple. I probably don't have to say it. In fact, I'm sure the only reason you're reading this is because you know I'm going to have some hot pics and/or video to help prove my point. So since you came all this way, as you can see from the first 3 pics, I have no intention of disappointing you.

The sight of someone wearing spandex is a tease. It fits the human form with just a few things hidden from our sight. Practically everything about that person's body sculpture is on display. You know if the person has a gut. You know if he/she has a nice ass, be it flat or plump. You know how shapely his/her legs are. You know if a woman has big breast. You know what a guy is packing when he's flaccid, and you get an idea of what he's packing if he becomes hard with it on. And with America's uptight attitude towards nudity (especially the penis), luckily you don't get arrested.

All of that is obvious to us when we see someone in spandex.

To be honest, there are some people who I've seen in regular clothes, who I could never imagine finding sexy. However, when I see them in some spandex, all that changes. And the next time I see them in regular clothes, the memory of them in spandex increases their sex appeal.

Now, once you get the spandex off of somebody, what is revealed? 

Well, things like the amount of body hair, markings on the body e.g. scar, moles, tanlines, tattoos, etc), and the feel of the person's actual skin texture, as opposed to the smooth feeling of spandex. And that is where the tease of seeing someone in spandex comes in. It forces us to think about how good it would feel to be skin-to-skin with what is underneath that so-thin layer of material. Such thin material that you could taste through it the sweat from a good workout, the pre-cum from a guy's excitement, or a woman's pussy juice that makes her so wet that it's a good possibility that she's a squirter. The combination of spandex and those signs of sexy wetness makes us hunger to go further. Now, it's the wearer's call as to whether or not we can.

With spandex being used for exercise gear and female clothing, it has now become lingerie that is perfectly OK to wear in public. And I'm sure a great many people who wear spandex are aware of the fact that not only are you looking, but that you're fantasizing about tasting what's underneath. Some may be willing to let you get a taste, while others may not, but either way, the bottom line is that spandex a material that teases and please the senses. And if you are lucky enough....touching a hot wearer of it can give you a taste of thing to cum.

An ABM Take On FIBO? Or The TRUTH?

I was recently asked by the author of "The Blackout Blog" via Twitter:
"what's your angry-black-man take on FIBO (Fire Island Black Out)?"

I will get to answering that question. But first, I had to make one thing very clear by replying:
"I'm not an angry-black-man, I'm just REAL when few others will be."

And it is true. History shows that many want to call you "angry" when you refuse to sweep bullshit under the rug and deal with the real, instead of pretending every is fine and wear a fake smile. What few tend to realize is that sweeping so much under the rug is why there are so many alcoholics and drug addicts all over the world in the first place. Especially among men and women of the LGBT community trying to escape the pain of being disowned by "once-thought-to-be" family and friends.

With that in mind,  why do you think the bars/clubs with mostly White American clientèle often has the percentage of Blacks getting drunk off their asses higher than the percentage of Whites getting drunk? It's because these Blacks are trying to numb themselves to the reality of the racism around them. OR why do dark-skinned Black males tend to be so aggressive when they've caught the attention of a non-Black who tickles their fancy? Well, while only non-Blacks with low self-esteem find such behavior appealing, the reason for such behavior is because after the rejection from all the racists prior, these Blacks are holding on to this lighter-complexioned person for dear life as a sign that they are the desirable sexual being that too many gay media outlets have over the years refused to show them to be. There are porn scenes that show this over-aggression.

Now, of all who have read of my behavior in a bar/club, or have at some point bared witness to my behavior in a bar/club....why haven't I shown myself to be either of those types of Black men? I don't behave that way whether the crowd is mostly White like in The Cock on any given night, or at Splash Bar with its only night of being predominately Black and Latino because of the Wednesday night party I frequent called, Ocean. It is because, I see the reality around me, and instead of trying to numb myself to it, or overcompensating for it, I take note of it. And having that knowledge, daunting as it may be at times, at the end of the day it gives me a peace within myself that makes me approachable and often leads to the adventures I tell of here.

After I made it clear that I was not an angry Black man, but instead, a realist. The response I was given in return was:
"Are you kidding?! That little muscular body is PULSING with RAGE! ;-P"

Well actually, my body is always pulsing with something....a high sex drive. But rage however doesn't come unless provoked by deny reality. Hence my response:
"Not originally. It starts out as truth, but becomes rage when people show how in the denial they are of that truth."

This is also a truth that I can easily prove. Not to The Blackout Blog Man (who was teasing), but to those who are so easy to believe that I am an "angry Black man". For a good example, had the guy who became the subject of the blog entry, "Dumb Sell-Out Mo-Fo" opened his eyes to the truth of the racism around him, I would not have been justified in letting that blog entry see the light of day. I tried to approach him at first as being misinformed, but the more in denial he showed himself to be of the obvious truth, the more enraged I became. And denial when I am doing my damnedest to enlighten you on your misinformation is not a good mix. It probably stems from my anger towards myself for denying my orientation for almost 2 decades, maybe more.

Now, to alas answer the question about my take on Fire Island Black Out, my reply:
"The realism is: if the separatism with the LGBT community didn't spread all the way to FI(Fire Island), there would be no need for FIBO."

Must I really go into detail as to how I'm right about this one? I will say this much....he did not dispute it. In fact, that is when our tweets of banter about me being an angry black man brought forth the aforementioned "tweeted" responses.

The fact is non-Whites are too often made to feel  that they are a trivial existence in gay celebrations and the community overall. Whether it be getting good health services, celebrating our sexuality via exhibitionism, overcoming the oppression of powers that want us to be ashamed of our orientation through Pride celebrations, or simply vacationing in a LGBT vacation spot, there would be no need for Men of All Colors Together NY, Black Gay Pride, Fire Island Black Out, GMAD (Gay Men of African Descent), Bisexuality Day (September 23rd), The Bisexual Pride Flag, JRL's Asian, Black, and Latin charts, or any of these separations if every part of what makes up the LGBT community was shown the same amount of respect for simply being a part of what makes up the LGBT community.

So this is not the ranting of an ABM or "Angry Black Man". These are the words of a person who sees the truth that I don't have to be a Black man to see. I just have to be humane enough to see it, and man enough to acknowledge it. And I am not going to become angry, until someone shows themselves in denial enough to try disputing any of what I've pointed out here.

Before I sign off, I beg of you, do not hide from these truth by attempted escapes through drugs, alcohol, and displays of over-aggression. See them with your eyes wide open, and you will be a better person for it in the end.

Lousy Go-Go, Money No-Go!

With the weekend upon us, and knowing that I may be seeing quite a few go-go boys this weekend as we usually do in gay nightlife, I thought I'd point out a little something for you to think about.

Like many men who indulge in NYC gay nightlife, I enjoy the sight of go-go boys. But there are some questions you should ask yourself as to whether or not you are dealing with a "quality go-go boy", therefore find him worthy of you tip. In no particular order of importance:

1) Are all the go-go boys the same ethnicity, race, body type, or close to the same complexion?

Any go-go boy worth a damn in NYC is going to want to embrace the diversity, even in the workplace of a bar. If a go-go boy is willing to work for someone so short-sighted that every go-go boy (and the crowd) is the same ethnicity, race, or same (or close to the same) complexion as himself, then he's not worth your money.

2) Does he have a problem with you taking his picture?

I know that we live in hard financial times, but my intellectual tip for sex workers (from go-go boys to porn actors to escorts) has always been that if you need to hide evidence of what you're doing, then you shouldn't be doing it. Make way for those who are brave enough to not cater to America's uptight attitude over sexuality and the male penis. Find another legitimate way to make your money. So if you see that having his picture is an issue for him, then keep your money in your pocket. I've seen enough go-go boys have that problem that even though I initially may want to take a picture, I don't even bother asking. I've tipped some go-go boys, and when I see someone else take a picture and the go-go boy has a fit, from that point on, that go-go boy is cut off from getting any kind of monetary tip from me. They'd better take the aforementioned intellectual tip I gave instead, and be on their way. And YES, I do break the stereotype, because I am a Black man that gives monetary tips. Which brings me to my 3rd question of a go-go boy's quality.

3) Has he brought into ethnic stereotypes?
I have been to places like The Urge, The Cock, and Macho Mondays@Nowhere and seen go-go boys so racist that they pass me by when I have a tip in my hand ready to give them. All because they've bought into the racist thinking that Black guys don't tip. Now, if you're not Black yourself and see a go-go boy pull such a stunt, you should be ashamed of yourself if you dare tip him.

Well, some of us actually do tip, but there's a totally  legitimate reason why many Blacks don't. Maybe it has something to do with how bar/clubs don't hire the same variety in body types in Blacks as that they hire in lighter complexions. Most bar/clubs and party promoters, instead make ALL of their Black hires buffed-up gym-rats. I'll need more than 2 hands to count how many bars, clubs and party promoters pull this one. And once again, in a city as diverse as NYC, the gay males who hold these positions should be ashamed of themselves.

4) Do they make they racial preference obvious?
When I go-go danced, I treated everyone the same. Be they Black, White, Asian, Indian, Latino, young, old, male, female, skinny,average, muscular, or fat...I would take their tip, smile and say "Thank you" and kiss them on the forehead, and with a lady, I would kiss her hand. Way too many go-go boys aren't that bright. They are such young, dumb, full of cum, no-class asses that they make their existence a shame.

I've seen many White go-go boys show their preference for other White guys by holding elongated conversations when being tipped only $1, and when even an attractive non-White comes along, they just take the dollar and say, "Thanks" and move on. And some don't even say "thanks", instead they'll take your money, grin, and then move on. Now I'm not only criticizing Whites who make their desire to touch only other White skin obvious. I'm also getting on Whites who prefer non-Whites, and Blacks who prefer non-Blacks. These are the people who give the profession of being a go-go boy a bad name. And bar,clubs, and promoters who turn a blind eye to their dancers behaving this way don't show themselves too on the ball about how their staff is treating their patrons.

So while you're taking in the sights of some go-go boys you think are hot, take note of those behavior patterns. For what you think is initially hot, due to their mindset, you may find them to be quite ugly in the end. Therefore, deserving of you keeping your tip money in your pocket. Take heed, because I plan on going to a couple of parties this weekend, and plan on practicing what I preach. So I'm not expecting to do much tipping. If I do, I will be pleasantly surprised. And I do like some surprises, so let's see what's in store. I'll report my findings on Twitter on Monday.

Lastly, I'm not trying to be a downer on your weekend outings, but it is your money. I'm just trying to make sure that you spend it on quality performers.

Sexy Alexi Pounds _____

About 4 months ago, I did a piece for my "In Lust With" category entitled, "In Lust With....Sexy Alexi". In that post I made this request:

....if any one knows where I can find a video of Alexi fucking, be it straight, gay, or bisexual porn - direct me to it. I just want to see this hottie fill someone's hungry hole with his sweet meat. Sure I'll be jealous that it isn't me, but it is a fantasy, so I'll get over it soon enough.

Well, I've found it. Completely by accident I might add. I was going through the webmaster affilitate site for Eromaxx sites, the company that's behind sites you see advertised below: PartyHardcore.com, GuysGoCrazy.com, BiMaxx.com, and MyFetish.net. In a thumbnail for the website PartyHardcore, I saw a hot blond guy being fawned over by some women, and it wasn't Denis Reed. I realized that the guy was Alexi. When I downloaded the trailer for that week, there was Alexi eating pussy and then him either pounding away at it, or enjoying  the warmth of a horny chick's pussy sliding up and down on his big uncut dick.

This let me know that Alexi was associated with Eromaxx, so I went on a search to see if he was on any of the other Eromaxx sites. Mainly my aforementioned other 3 favorites, and I would have been especially pleased to report seeing him on either BiMaxx.com or GuysGoCrazy.com like aforementioned hottie, Denis Reed.

Unfortunately, no such luck, because it turns out that he's only done Eromaxx videos for PartyHardcore.com, which means that Alexi is straight (at least on camera), and you're only going to see him pound pussy. And I say "at least on camera" not to be recruiting, but because not too long ago, I was told that one of my all-time favorite European straight porn stars, Rocco Siffredi was straight on-camera, but bisexual off-camera. So if you want to see Alexi pound some male tale, you have to do as I've been doing with Rocco Siffredi....and use your imagination.

To help that imagination along, I made this video compiling most of Alexi's scenes from the DVD, "Party Hardcore, Vol. 32". He may not be pounding male ass, or (even better) my ass, but at least you get to see that hot bod grind and thrust in so many eager holes that he works up a sweat and ends up spraying a load of jizz on someone's face.

If it was me receiving that load, the difference is that I wouldn't dare close my eyes. Because I'd be too anxious to see his man-meat volcano erupt with its creamy white sperm-filled lava, and then feeling the warmth of it when it lands on my face.

Wanna Watch Me Watch?....Go Ahead

Do you remember this scene from the movie "Trick"?


I'm sure practically everyone of us can relate to that scene.

You're out in public. Maybe on some form of public transportation, or in a public place like a park, or on the street. You see an attractive person, and you're checking them out from head to toe. You see that beautiful face, then work you way down to imagining the nice chest that might be hiding under that shirt. Next, you wish for a nice flat stomach, juicy underwear-filling ass, and a nice pair of thighs. Lastly, you're hoping that there's a nice pair of calves that you can fantasize about being used to either thrust into you deep and hard, or you admiring them as they lean on your shoulders, while you thrust into him. And during that entire trip of looking down that person's body, you are wishing that you had Superman's x-ray vision so you can see through that clothing, and find out if your imagination is on point.

Now, you are so aroused by the combination of the image in your head and the fantasy of the 2 of you together that you might feel as if you can orgasm without even touching yourself. 

There is a problem though. You can't get too comfortable, because a strange vibe interrupts you. A strange vibe coming from another direction. And when you look in that direction, you discover what it is...

...It's someone giving you that disapproving stare. That stare that says, "I know what you're thinking, and it's disgusting." When truth be told, you have nothing to feel disgusted about. They should feel disgusted with themselves for being such a busy-body with a lack of understanding about the nature of your orientation.

Once upon a time, I used to do like Christian Campbell's character in that clip, and immediately move my eyes elsewhere when I discover that some busy-body is watching me check a guy out. Sometimes the guy I was checking out was fully aware that I was checking him out, and he didn't seem to care, but because that busy-body's eyes looked at me with such disgust, I would turn away.

Nowadays however, I'm discovering that the older I get, the less give a flying fuck if they look. I think it is because I am becoming more and more comfortable in my predominately gay skin. Therefore, that busy-body with their disapproval can kiss my ass. My only concern now is the person that I'm checking out. I'm concerned if they're OK with me checking them out. Now, if I get a stare that shows discomfort, then I'll stop. I'll consider it their lost, for whatever reason they don't want my admiration, and move on without any drama starting from my end.

I know not every gay or bisexual person has grown to that place. It takes time. While it took me 8 years after realizing my orientation to get to this point, I know it has taken some less time, while others may need a little more, and others may need alot more. I'm just glad that after my over-a-decade long struggle with my sexuality, that I have now come to this point where my actions can say to these nosey judgmental assholes, "If you wanna watch me watch him, go ahead. Keep watching. And don't forget to give me your address so that if something transpires, I can send you the porno of us fucking each others brains out. Have a nice day." 

Tré on XTube

Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Bi?: Part 2 - Gay-4-Pay

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Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Bi?

INTRODUCTION:
Many people define "sexual orientation" differently. When some speak of it, their focus is only on which gender one has sex with. While others (like myself) are talking about which gender(s) you have a sexual attraction to, which doesn't necessarily mean that you have sex with them. So if it is both genders that you have a sexual attraction to, whether you act on only one or both attractions, in this 2-part post, that makes you "bisexual". Please keep that in mind while reading.
_________________________________________________________________

"The Big Bad Bi."

I made that phrase up, but it is how some people act towards bisexuality. The question is who?

The answer is those who refuse to believe in bisexuality because they lack respect for the color spectrum of human sexuality, which is blue on one end (to represent the attraction to males), and pink on the other end (to represent the attraction to females), with lighter shades of purple in between to represent the degrees of bisexuality. Therefore some shades of that purple are closer to blue, while others are closer to pink. Those who don't want to acknowledge bisexuality turn a blind eye to all of those shades of purple. They have militant attitudes that behave as if we are in a war of "straight vs. gays", and you must "pick a side". So they want you to be all for the blue or all for the pink. Well, I for one am tired of being looked upon as the cloth tied in the middle of a tug-o-war rope that they're trying to get on their side, and stay there. I just want to simply BE.

I have proclaimed myself to be a "predominately gay bisexual", because I know that my sexual attraction is alot more for the blue than for the pink. And fuck what those who deny bisexuality have to say. If they have a problem with that fact of my orientation, then here is a list of some phrases that they can take as my response:

SUCK MY DICK!

BLOW ME!

EAT MY SHORTS!

TOUGH TITTY!

KISS MY SWEET, JUICY MOTHER FUCKIN' ASS you narrow-minded, under-read, unevolved cretin!

Pardon me if that seemed uncouth. But when you take note of how long a struggle it was for me to realize my orientation (almost 31 of my 39 years), you can see why I can go on such a verbal attack on someone daring to question it.

My bisexuality has been the source of quite a few debates over time. Mainly with militant gays. Before I even had my first taste of a woman at a bi-sex party, it was a constant debate with them trying to tell me that I can't know for sure that I am bisexual until I've actually had the experience of both genders. 

These are dumb fuckers who don't think before they speak. But more importantly, they're not taking note of who they're attempting to match wits with....ME.

Because while everyone doesn't have the same orientation, everyone does actually know their orientation before doing a sexual act with that gender - even if they live in denial of it for whatever reason. So in retaliation, I would easily bring forth the point of how they knew they were gay before having sex with their own gender, and they would reluctantly find themselves having no choice, but to shut the fuck up. And my attraction to women was no different. Even before I lost my virginity to a man, my sexual attraction to women was as alive then, as it was that night of that bi-sex party, and as alive as it is today.

Because TRUST ME, if the opportunity presents itself, I will be definitely be needing some "alone time" with Sofia Vergara of the ABC comedy, "Modern Family".

My quote for "Write That Down #22" was inspired by flashbacks of people over time taking issue with the term "bisexual" by saying that it was just a myth. I have had enough of hearing their ignorance. And ignorance it is. For it's the usual case of pointing the finger at someone else when you should be pointing it at yourself.

Militant gays need to point the finger at themselves because their hang-up over bisexuality comes from taking issue over the opposite gender's sexual organs, which is both infantile and incredibly foolish. For without that opposite gender's sexual organs the human race would not have began, flourished to this point (therefore, they themselves would not be here), nor would it continue. So militant gay males need to get over their hang-ups over vaginas - you may not want to dip your dick in the warmth of a pussy, but understand that it is a natural & beautiful thing for others regardless. And militant lesbians need to get over their hang-ups over penises - you may not want your pussy filled with a throbbing cock, but you as well need to understand that it is a natural & beautiful thing for others regardless. And part of that beauty is that straight sex is what keeps the human race in existence.

I don't know why the straights who don't believe in bisexuality feel the way they do exactly. I do know however that those straights are mostly American. And even though American straights have evolved more than American gays, the best I can surmise to be the reason for the disbelief in bisexuality is because of the limiting outlook on sexuality we Americans have been taught in this country. Worldwide however, the reason straight non-believers need to point the finger at themselves is because somewhere inside them, they know they need to evolve. Yet, they refuse to and stick with the repressive attitude that they were taught instead of taking a good look around them, and realizing how real bisexuality really is.

I have always felt that members of the LGBT community have allowed themselves to be underrated in statistics. If they didn't, then the web-store 10percent.com would have a better name - one with a more representative number of the gay population. For I have never believed that only 10% of the world population is gay. 10% is a cop-out number that those making up the statistics use when they don't want to admit that there is more of us out there than they care to know. They used that same number to represent the American Black population as well. It's a tactic used to make the statistic-maker (who is often the oppressor) feel stronger (because as they say, "strength in numbers"), and the minority feel that their number makes them a presence that they must continue taking grief from their oppressors. Hence why that statistic would make the other 90% of sexual beings "straight". From my experience, even before realizing my own orientation, I can say how that percentage is bullshit if I ever heard it!

Here is my estimate based on my life experiences of encounters, innuendos (be they by conversation or art), and vibes that I have gotten from people: 25% TOTALLY straight, 25% TOTALLY gay, and 50% bisexual. And of that 50% bisexual, the majority are the opposite of me - meaning they are "predominately straight bisexuals". They may have sex with both genders, OR they may have sex with only the opposite sex, but that does not change the fact that they also have a sexual (not necessarily romantic) attraction to their own gender. Therefore, they can still be considered bisexual.

Take note that someone's sexuality and sex acts are 2 different things. Someone's sexuality is their orientation, while a "sex act" is the act that shows that orientation is present in the person, but that act doesn't necessarily mean that it's their overall orientation (as I will elaborate on in Part 2). So keeping my estimates in mind, it's bisexuality that is the norm and not heterosexuality in regards to orientation. But in regards to sex acts, heterosexual sex acts remain the norm.

I am aware that all that I've said here may be a lot to take in. Maybe that's why some are so quick to scoff at bisexuality in the 1st place. It's easier than using their brains to really think about how you might not be as "straight" or "gay" as you think you are, especially when your sexual behavior is already for the most part considered the norm, or your miserable because it's not considered the norm, and you want some company in your misery. These people need to realize that just because you're not 100% straight or 100% gay, doesn't mean you must use sex to fulfill that secondary percentage. You can use flirtation. In fact, I'm sure that's what many people do all over the world....and they don't even realize it.

So let's stop this debate over bisexuality. Accept that it's real, and accept that it may be you. Now, should you take a good hard look at yourself, and discover that you are bisexual, then do it the same as I hope you are doing thinking that you are 100% straight or 100% gay....make the choices that make you AND your partner(s) happy. Do that, and all will be fine.