Post-Porn Poetry Salon, Then Getting Naked

I have said many things against the gay porn industry. And it's not out of jealousy of others who are or were more successful in it as some like Diesel Washington and Micah Brandt would like to insinuate. Because truth be told, part of my decision to retire is because I saw that the more successful one is in the porn industry, the more of a slave they become. Whether it be a slave to a porn company, being a kept male, or a slave to the sex industry overall. And since it is an industry that is only profitable for you when you are young and/or have the looks to get by, the fact is neither of those 2 last forever. Therefore, it is safe to say that I got out before my looks faded from the stress. I can't say before age caught up to me, because even though I have a stamina that either keeps up with or outlast many 20-somethings, Father Time is a power no human can run from.

With all that said, one would think that I regret my time in the porn industry when it is quite the contrary. The truth is all of my words against the porn industry is not out of regret. Instead, they are because the industry is NOT what it should be - a playground for exhibitionists as originally intended. However, if it wasn't for it becoming more and more the commercials for prostitutes that it has become, I wouldn't have had the stories like those told in my poetry series, "The Industry". For now, a domino effect has taken place that I must now proudly report.

As I said in a previous post, the morning after my reading of "The Industry" I got an email from an audience member inviting me to be part of various events. One of those events was the Poetry Salon at the Rainbow Book Fair that I recently announced and took part in this past Saturday at the LGBT Center. I was aware that each poet had a 5-minute window. What I wasn't aware of was how that 5-minute window could include more than 1 poem. So the 1 poem I read was a poem I wrote back in 2005 called "Decision Ride".

To tell you what a "Decision Ride" is, it is the name I gave to a tryst that someone who claims to be straight but is in some degree of "orientation limbo" uses to figure out if they are truly straight, gay, or some degree of bisexual. In the poem, I let it be known as to whether or not I'm willing to be a guy's decision ride and what factors must (or must not) be in play to influence my decision of YAY or NAY.

I was considering posting the poem here today with this post, but I decided against it. Because that would be me giving you the milk for free, when you should have bought the cow with the little donation of transit fare. After all, it was a free event.

My friend who got me into all of this introduced me to a few people, and my shy self actually got up the nerve to make some new contacts on my own with a couple of LGBT publishing companies and magazines at the Rainbow Book Fair. I did this by presenting my story of my late coming out, and my porn past that followed. I don't want to give away any names here as to who I spoke to, so I don't jinx my chances of something coming to fruition.

So it is safe to say that I had a very good day at The Rainbow Book Fair. It is a shame though that this is the only one in the country. At the Poetry Salon's After-Party at Elmo, I mentioned in a conversation with a woman from one of the lesbian publishing companies that maybe one of the companies there could start one in their area. I got the idea from the way the Gay Erotic Expo would always have one in California and a week or two later, one in New York.

And my post-porn journey doesn't stop there.

My friend also got me in contact with the head of the Leslie/Lohman Erotic Drawing Studio, and I will be modeling nude for one of their drawing classes within the next couple of weeks. The last time I did modeling like this was back in 2006 when I posed for the Erotic Art Fair, possibly in that very same room the Rainbow Book Fair was held. So while studio-based porn ignored the good my exhibitionist spirit can bring, it is still getting a chance to be on display. And as an artist myself, I'm glad to do it in this environment. One that I have an even more personal appreciation for.

So one night of me telling the mess the porn industry and the people in it are has led me to this road. Where it will lead, I don't know. But one thing is for sure, it is better than where staying in the gay porn industry was leading.

And for that reason, HATE ON, HATERS! HATE ON!

Because the gay porn industry served some purpose. Now, I'm moving on and I feel I'm going up in the process.

Write That Down #32

I was born and raised in the United States of America. And I have grown fully aware that this country has gotten to the prosperity that it has achieved because of the combined efforts of the many cultures and ethnicities that have called it "home" for generations after generations. While some cultures and ethnicities were brought here by force, I believe God allowed it to happen, so from that point of travesty, we can show our greatness by uniting, and treating one no better than the other.

Since this is the U.S.A., people being so close-minded that they can't find beauty in skin-colors other than their own says that there is a sickness in their mind. We see it in all forms of media and entertainment everyday, even in casting notices for plays where the situations are in no way ethnically-specific calling for a certain color in their casting. And in ethnically-diverse cities like New York, you see people on the street and with social networking site profiles that only have one color and/or shade. These people practicing modern-day segregation should be ashamed of themselves and their existence. For we have something to learn from each other, and these people are thumbing their noses at that opportunity.

For this reason, my latest "Write That Down" quote reads:


If you live in the USA, especially in a multi-ethnic area, and you're white with only white friends, black with only black friends, Asian with only Asian friends, Latin with only Latin friends, etc., since you hate befriending and admiring the beauty of variety that God created so much, then you need go back to your "motherland", and be a worthless existence THERE!


I'm just stating the obvious.

Reply To "White Cocks Only"

In my recent post, "Next To Me: About Black Gay Porn", I mentioned being interviewed for a piece in Next Magazine. Well, the article was recently featured in their Sex Issue. While I was happy with the parts of what I said that the author Dustin Fitzharris used in the piece, there were some things that I must address.

For starters, for me personally I HATE the fact that I was referred to as "...African-American..." I don't hold Dustin responsible for this, for I never made it clear to him. But my reason for my being against that term is because I am not. I don't give a rat's ass about using the term that is considered "politically correct". The fact is I am a Black man. The term "African-American" puts something on me that if I did not OK it, I do not accept it ---LIMITATIONS. And the reason I am not OK with it, therefore don't accept it is because I have a known ethnic background of African/Native American/Venezuelan heritage and God knows what else, and I LOATHE the term "African-American" because it erases the presence of that mix. Some traits of which are very obvious to those who are aware of differences in hair-grade, skin tone, and bone structure based on ethnicity. And if I went to Africa right now, they would not accept me as African because of those differences, and rightfully so.

Now, for the other things I must address, they come from the others who were interviewed. All of whom I GREATLY disagree with and am appalled by what they have said. Starting with the likes of mixed Randy Blue model, Micah Brandt and the website's talent coordinator, A. Bee.

Randy Blue may have 3 Blacks on contract, but that doesn't change the fact of how there is racism that both of these people deny. To give the reasoning that they gave for the shortage of Blacks in gay porn by both Micah Brandt and A. Bee shows them to be one of 3 things:

a)2 bonafide dumbasses,

b) 2 blind mice, or

c) 2 mice pretending to be blind to the writing on wall by kissing their boss' ass saying obvious untruths to keep them employed, which leads them back to being Choice (a). In short, SELL-OUTS.

As always, I will explain how this is so.

Micah Brandt said in the article, "Maybe they have to prove a little bit more than other people that they deserve to be where they are, but I feel the industry is pretty good about giving everyone their chance.”

Micah Brandt's stupidity is shown in this statement because the FACT is that if there was no racism, there would be no reason for Blacks to prove themselves anymore than Whites. The FACT that they must go that extra mile is THE PROOF of how there is racism. 

It's pathetic when someone, especially a person of color refuses to admit to the racism that is happening right before his/her very eyes. So that not only applies to Micah Brandt, it also applies to Randy Blue's talent coordinator, A. Bee, a Black lesbian who in the article says, “Most black guys will tend to go to black sites because that’s what they know”. 

Now referring to women in the manner I'm about to is something I normally deplore, but when the shoe fits, I will make you wear it. For that statement is the beginning to show how A. Bee's initials of "A.B." should stand for "Asswipe Bitch". Because that statement shows how she has buried her face so deep in Randy Blue's ass while kissing it that she has allowed the shit stuck on Randy Blue's ass to blind her to the truth. That truth being that so many Blacks apply to Black sites because what they truly know is that if they want to be in porn, that is the best chance they have. For I am a prime example of this. 

I NEVER wanted to work for a site like Pitbull Productions, or consider an alliance with sites like FlavaWorks and Chocolate Cream where most of their models foolishly associate maintaining their "blackness" with coming up with "thug names" instead of names that can be thought of as actually being real. But after countless tries to contact more "mainstream" companies and false promises made by some of them, sites like Pitbull and FlavaWorks is what I was exiled to having wanting me, and keeping a relationship with. And I'm sure that I am not the only Black gay porn performer with such a tale to tell. And so NO ONE can use it as an excuse, let me make it clear that this was BEFORE I started speaking out on the racism in the industry. In fact, that is what provoked my speaking out.

A. Bee also says in the article, “It also comes down to where you live and your upbringing. A lot of black people have strong family ties and feel like they could never do something like this.”

The idea of Blacks having stronger family ties, while an admirable trait, it is used as the common scapegoat excuse for porn companies reasons for not hiring Black models. Randy Blue and Michael Lucas are just 2 of many examples. But A. Bee is another figure at Randy Blue whose so-called point can be ripped apart. Because the fact is that if Blacks have such strong family ties, then why are there so many Blacks in the porn industry, even if they are (some exiled to partake) in ethnic porn?

Also, my family ties are quite strong and my family have long been aware of my being in porn. And I’m sure I am not the only one. Therefore, all of these porn companies need to stop using “Blacks’ strong family ties” as an excuse. So this post is my grenade of truth to stick in these liars’ asses so that they’re are ripped a new hole so that all the bullshit that they are talking falls out without blockage.

And stick one in Michael Lucas as well.

Michael Lucas is famous for putting a spin on things...when it serves him. So much so that the many weak-minded will believe that he makes a good argument. Such as his claims of how he knows for a fact that Blacks are more homophobic. He needs to make his viewpoints born from the narrow-mindedness of his kept lifestyle kept quiet.

Blacks are no more homophobic than any other ethnicity. The fact is that Blacks are more honest about their homophobia, than maybe Whites and Latinos. And the reason Blacks are more honest about their homophobia is because it is not as profitable for Blacks to hide their homophobia or internalize it the same way it is for Whites and Latinos to be dishonest about theirs. Case in point, you have White CEOs of companies who display homophobia, then change their rules over fear of losing the profit coming from the large amount of "gay dollars", that they are probably calling "faggot dollars" behind our backs. Also you have an overload of "gay-for-pay" themed websites featuring White and Latino males, which is obvious internalized homophobia. Need I bring to your attention names like Wolf Hudson, Kurt Wild and Jeremy Bilding. Wolf Hudson who claims to be straight started out with the blatino porn company, Big City Video, while Kurt Wild and Jeremy Bilding are Whites who both at one time or another for Michael Lucas. While Kurt Wild is now (thank goodness) retired, Jeremy Bilding uses the name "Ryan Driller" in his straight porn work. Whether it's Bilding or the video company that advised the name changing between gay and straight porn, it is still a White person's homophobia that won't allow him to use the same name for both orientations of porn.

A concern of mine with the article overall is that I don’t feel that not enough Black porn actors were interviewed. If so, some of the things I addressed in that piece and in this one would have very much more than likely be confirmed. Instead making a piece about the lack of Blacks in gay porn start and end with Michael Lucas makes Next Magazine look like they were bought off to give Michael Lucas a platform to act like the god who is working to save gay porn that the typical American gay male has made him out to be. And believing such misconceptions of him being so great is another way of how the typical American gay male is his own worst enemy.

To make clear my reason for suspecting Next Magazine of being bought off is because Michael Lucas has been allowed to write for Next Magazine before, meanwhile I have emailed Next Magazine MANY blog posts addressing social issues within the LGBT community, and I have been repeatedly overlooked, until now. Some may say that I should take what I could get. I’m sorry, but I can’t be silent without taking Next Magazine and others to task. Because the LGBT community is in crisis and  unable to progress due to the in-fighting over issues like racism, ageism, and even sexism kept silent by the gay media. And this one whisper, while highlighting good strong points that I made, still made me out to be a minority within a minority, which doesn’t do justice to the many Black members of the gay community. Therefore, it doesn’t do justice to ALL members of the gay community.

It is for these reasons that I left the gay porn industry. But to see my meaningful stands are pushed aside for Michael Lucas’ superficiality in not just Next Magazine, but other publications as well, it makes people question, “Why be gay?” Why be gay when your statement of depth gets swept under the rug to make room for someone who buys their way into voicing superficiality? Why be gay when such actions make Janet Boynes from “Our America with Lisa Ling: Pray the Gay Away?” look like she knows what she talking about by condemning being gay? Why be gay when my video addressed to Janet Boynes’ perceptions about gays goes unnoticed by all the gay media outlets that I tried contacting?

The fact that I fear asking myself such questions that I’m sure others are as well is why I have moved on the way I have. With such annoyances giving birth to my poetry series, “The Industry”, which led to my upcoming appearance at The Rainbow Book Fair this Saturday. So with the lemons I’ve been given, I am making some fuckin’ GREAT lemonade. But it doesn’t lessen my concern this article ignites as to who the heads of gay media give a platform to, …and why.

Next Magazine Article - White Cock Only

In a previous post, "Next To Me: About Black Gay Porn", I mentioned doing an interview for Next Magazine. Well, the article is now in their recent Sex Issue. Please go to the link below, as I am working on a post to further some of what I said in the interview and to address the comments made by others interviewed.

http://nextmagazine.com/feature-article/white-cock-only


UPDATE: See my reply "Reply To 'White Cocks Only'"

Come Here to COME HEAR!

As a result of my poetry reading of "The Industry", I was invited to recite a poem at "COME HEAR!", a poetry marathon event held in the Poetry Salon of the Rainbow Book Fair this Saturday, March 26th. I was originally going to do the poem "Tales Of Your Stare", but since that poem was already presented on this blog, therefore can be found by anyone doing research on me, I decided to present a poem that I have never made public before. It is entitled, "Decision Ride".

"What is a "Decision Ride'?", you ask. 

Well, you will just have to come to the reading and find out for yourself.

While The Rainbow Book Fair runs from 11 AM - 5 PM, I am scheduled to read my poem sometime between 2 and 3 PM at the Poetry Salon in Room 304.

Get the list of all the poets so far for COME HEAR! HERE.

If you live in or are visiting NYC at the time, I hope to see you there.

And THANKS for your continued support of my journey.

Black Party, Smart Parties

This is another year that I'm not going to the Black Party. And it's not so much about boycotting over the lack of representation of the sexual beauty of all fit bodies amongst non-Whites. Besides, the guys at Saint At Large already told on themselves by making the theme this year be about of all things ---CLONES. For clones are creatures with little to no sense of individuality. Therefore, they always follow the road that they are taught, and practically never strike out to find a road of their own.

And we all know how that doesn't describe me at all.

This year however, my staying away has in addition, the fact of how one should be more reasonable, and not allowing myself to be a clone by buying into all the hype. I've experienced the Black Party enough times before, so I know from whence I speak when I point out these facts:

Each of my trips to the Black Party have been nothing more than waiting on a long line, occasional dancing on the dancefloor, venturing to the backroom, and with such a high-priced ticket still having to pay for drinks. I'm sure many of you can testify to the same. That is if you're not getting high as a kite and/or drunk as a skunk the first chance you get.

As far as venturing to the backroom is concerned, you would think that with paying such a high-priced ticket promising erotic shows that my need to go to the backroom was because the "pornstars" whose salary I'm helping to pay for with that overpriced ticket got me in the mood...NOT AT ALL. Truth be told, I'm going to the backroom because I know that I'll put on a more inspiring show being the real me with whomever I find to passionately tongue wrestle, suck their dick, tongue their tit, eat their ass, poke their ass, and/or ride their dick. In short, unlike the long drawn out bullshit the pornstars are doing calling it "entertainment".

So with SEX being the main thing on the menu, I'm going an alternate route like I did last year. And if you recall, I had quite a good time last year. So I thought I'd recommend some sex parties that I know will be happening Black Party weekend that you can combine with or without the Black Party, but partake in some fashion that will make sure that your weekend winds up just as (or maybe more) thrilling as the Black Party is hyped to be.

Friday night, there's EDGE which I have volunteered at. And with this being Black Party weekend, I'm sure will be filled with hot out-of-towners.

Also on Friday night is a new party for poz guys called the NYC Poz Party. The host is the same host as that of the Hot Jock Party, which I have written about in past blog posts. With the hot crowd that frequents the Hot Jock Party, I'm sure the host will make the same thing happen for this party. So if you're sexy, fit, and poz, send an email with your info AND pics to get on the list.

If you want to get off closer to the time of the Black Party, then you can go to the Milk Chocolate NYC Hot Body Men's Party on March 19th from 8 PM - 2 AM. I've had some HOT action there in the past. Hot enough for me to make an entire category dedicated to the tales of my time there, so with all the hotties in town for the Black Party, you'll have an even wider selection than the ones I've had to choose from in my adventures.

Now come Sunday, I don't know whether to cum again, chill with a drink, or do a little of both. For I've been asked to do some volunteering duties at 

.

However, I might also just want to chill at The Cock's Sunday night party, Sperm. Either one is sure to make for a crazy night. It's just a matter of after what I'll probably do Friday and Saturday, which degree of crazy will my body be in the mood for come Sunday. Of course, I could do both since the INappropriate Behavior Party goes from 6 PM - 4 AM, while Sperm at The Cock goes from 11 PM - 4 AM.

So as you can see, I have some sexy ideas to mull over for the weekend. Maybe I'll see you at one or more of these events. Whatever you do, enjoy and be safe. ;-)

To Ms. Boynes: Contrary To Your Belief...

This video log is my response to Janet Boynes, a founder of an ex-gay ministry, and her claims as to the reason for failure for many people who have tried fighting their homosexuality. Being that I have such a past as one of those people who tried and (according to her) failed, needless to say, I was provoked to respond.

I've made Facebook & Twitter updates about "Our America with Lisa Ling: Pray the Gay Away?", with few people giving commentary. Do you think that's since people avoided watching it out of fear of hearing a truth about themselves OR to avoid getting angry?

I've made Facebook & Twitter updates about "Our America with Lisa Ling: Pray the Gay Away?", with few people giving commentary. Do you think that's since people avoided watching it out of fear of hearing a truth about themselves OR to avoid getting angry?

Answer here

Write That Down #31

Recently, this latest "Write That Down" quote has been going through my mind quite a bit. But the final straw to push me to say it now was when I saw a scene featuring a subject from my past posts, Ty (or "Tyron" as he is listed in the movie I saw) from "Sweet Reunions Over Milk Chocolate, Pt. 2". After reading that post, knowing that I had retired from the industry, Ty still asked if I would do a scene with him. While I told Ty that I would come out of retirement to do the scene, and Ty said he told the studio, the studio never contacted me.

The reason I was willing to come out of retirement to do the scene was to undo most of the things that I spoke of in my poetry series, "The Industry". Mainly the lack of undeniable attractions in so much of today's studio-based porn. And our attraction was so real that many can see it by us looking into each other's eyes in a simple still photograph.

With our many times of having sex being born of that undeniable attraction, it goes without saying that if I see him in a scene with someone else, I know what to look for in his eyes that can tell me if his attraction is real. And in the scene that I saw, the glimmer that was in his eyes with me...was nowhere to be seen. I find this troublesome because if I see someone that I've had sex with in a scene, I would like to masturbate to the memories of that glimmer and passion when we were together. And with that glimmer in his eyes missing, I felt like I was watching what I never, ever wanted to see of him---Ty on an escorting job.

I have said it numerous times... I even said it during my poetry reading in January that the only parts in porn that are supposed to be acted (if any) are the scenario and the greatness of the sex. The attractions are NOT supposed to be acted. That's what escorts have to do, and it's an ugliness that should not be seen. However, porn directors insist on doing it anyway. Hence why studio-based porn is polluted with escorts and not the exhibitionist that porn-buying consumer would hope for. Therefore, not worth your money.

When it comes to what I call "free downloads", while porn studios call them "illegal" or "pirated" downloads, maybe it's my Aries stubbornness, but it is a case of "you say 'tomāto', I say 'tomătoe'". I have sometimes seem movies that I've been in on these sites. So why have I not alerted the studio heads I've worked for? It's because what porn studios call "art", I don't respect it as such. For it's becoming that practically all studios are run by ego-maniacs more concerned with whether or not you can get a hard-on "on their command" rather than whether or not your hard-on is actually inspired by the person you're supposed to do a scene with. In short, you're treated like a dog living to please his owner, instead of a human being displaying his pleasure. And only porn actors in denial would dare to disagree with me. A perfect example is from thinking back to when I did the movie, "The Interview". I recall one of the reasons Tyson Cane liked Favian Gotti was because according to Tyson cane, Favian could get hard on Tyson Cane's command.

I'm different. For similar to what I said earlier, I am a human being, not a dog living to please his owner. Hence mine and Tyson Cane eventual butting of the heads.

Now, when porn studios decide to actually do the work of hiring exhibitionists rather than escorts, thereby making movies based on authentic attractions, I will urge you to pay your hard-earned money for that product. But until I see evidence of that...FREE DOWNLOADS ALL THE WAY!

And to all those in the industry who want to say to me how pirating is wrong, I reply to you with this:
It's WRONG to create a product that caters to racism.
It's WRONG to create a product that purposely and repeatedly displays the worst image of an ethnicity.
And it's WRONG to create a product like porn, and ignore the request of pairing your models with whom they know they have great chemistry with.

I am well aware that 2 wrongs don't make a right. And I've tried my best to get this corrected by addressing those and other matters on this blog over time. However, all I have seen are these much needed changes move way slower than molasses...


...So I have been pushed to advocate doing this 1 wrong to combat those and many more wrongs done by YOU.

It is for this reason practically all studio-based porn is no longer "art" in my eyes. And I'm starting to wonder if it ever was, even when I was a part of it.

If studio-based porn was never "art", my misconception that it was comes from the fact that I view sex itself to be "art". An art that is born from genuine attractions, and based on what I said in the previous paragraphs, few studios (if any) pride themselves on that genuine attraction. Hence how porn has lost being a legitimate art form.

With all this in mind, my latest "Write That Down" quote reads:

I was never really a "porn actor". Due to the so-called "standards" of today's porn, that would be lowering myself. But I have always proudly been and continue to proudly be an exhibitionist.

Now, while this all may seem like I holding a massive grudge against the porn industry. The truth is quite the contrary. In fact, I'm quite thankful for the experience of being "Tré Xavier", because had it not been for those experiences, I would not have all the knowledge I have now, I would not be as thick-skinned against stupidity as I am now, nor would I be getting the opportunities to advance myself. So this is not me expressing a grudge, but venting an annoyance over mishandling. For I am a natural-born fighter for things to be done correctly, and the mishandling of the porn industry gave me the opportunity to better my skills as that fighter.

So THANK YOU.

4 Weeks Until 40

Yes, you have read correct.

I am proud to say that 4 weeks from today, this year I am turning "The Big 4-0". That's right I said it, I am turning 40 years old.

While the stupidity of the stereotypical gay male dreads it, me being at the other end of the intellect spectrum embraces it.

Why?

Because I'm quite blessed to not have a body warn down by drugs and alcohol, then needing Botox injections and/or a gym membership to mask my fucked-up decisions. I'm blessed to have made it through 15+ years of contemplating suicide while I struggled with my orientation. After that accomplishment, I'm blessed to have a small number of actual friends that I can be real with, instead of an overload of associates that I'm always living to impress so that they won't opt out of taking the place of real friends. I'm blessed with a family that may not have always agreed with me, but has still supported me through it all, and continue to do so. And I am blessed to have all of these experiences that have me in the process of finally finding my voice.

Now, as to how will I celebrate this great day, besides going to see "Priscilla: Queen Of The Desert" on Broadway, I have no idea. So that day is looking like the rest of my life. A journey of gaining knowledge, and experiencing things that I never believed I would experience, OR knew that they were there to experience.

All I have to say now is....BRING IT ON!!!!

Signs of 2011 D.P. Fruition?

I have been blogging about wanting to be double-penetrated by 2 hot tops for the longest. In fact, that's what started the creation of my "Double-Penetration" category. As for whether or not it has ever come to fruition...I've come close, but still no 2 cigars.

I can report however that before the end of 2010, I've had 2 encounters at Milk Chocolate NYC parties that make me get the feeling that my double-penetration fantasy may soon become a reality.

The 1st such party had this muscular Latino that every bottom at the party seemed to want a piece of. He was also good-looking. But since I practice what I preach therefore was finding my own fun, I was so into my own fun that I was never able to discover what else besides his looks and physique made him such a massive draw. Well, as they say, "Patience is a virtue". And my patience paid off eventually.

Me and one of the volunteers at the party were talking. Then the Latino came over after topping another conquest. We started flirting a bit, and talking about all the action he was getting. His cock was out, and I copped a feel. My reaction, you ask?...

...I thought to myself, "OH MY GOD!!!!" Maybe it was the shock, but it seemed as if his 1 dick was about as thick as 2 of mine. Now the mystery was solved as to why all those bottoms wanted him in  their ass. Those bottoms were size-queen bottoms. But they got exactly what they deserved for being size-queens.

For when I touched his cock and saw how massively thick it was, I started getting memory flashes. Those kind of memory flashes that show you things that you didn't realize that you were committing to memory, but your sub-conscience knew would be relevant later on. Such as how during some of the many guys the Latino fucked, the bottom got to the point where they couldn't take it anymore, or couldn't take it at all. I was so busy doing my own thing, that I didn't make it an important thing to consciously take note of. But evidently, my sub-conscience took note of it because it foresaw an upcoming moment.

The volunteer saw the Latino's huge cock as well. We both looked at each other in amazement. When the Latino left to go wash off from that conquest, me and the volunteer talked about how that cock made us nervous to take it on. Then as the volunteer went back to his volunteering duties, the Latino came over to me, and put the moves on me. And it was like an out-of-body experience, with me watching myself in utter shock...when I heard myself agree to go to the bed with him.

So now, while I was wondering am I going to be the next bottom saying, "No more, please!", something in me said that I wouldn't.

The Latino put on a condom while I put A LOT of lube on my asshole. Then I put lube on his dressed-up cock so I could feel that monster once more before preparing my mind and body for taking it in. That is, if I could take it in.

With me assuming the position for doggy-style, the Latino went for it. And while the 1st try didn't make it, to my surprise, the 2nd one did. Once inside me, he fucked me, and fucked me hard. The muscles in his crotch were banging up against my ass so hard, I knew that if not by my sphincter, my ass cheeks were going to surely be feeling this fuck-session by morning and the next few days after. Well, it was obviously good to him, for he then wanted me on my back to fuck me missionary. And I took full advantage of the view and feel of those muscles wet with sweat from his vigorous pounding, and playing with his nipples that were erect like his throbbing cock inside me.

And that throbbing is why we stopped. For we stopped not because I couldn't take him fucking my ass anymore. Quite the contrary. It was because he couldn't take my ass fucking his dick anymore, and he didn't want to come just yet. And it was a shame to end it when it did, because unlike most of those size-queen bottoms, I was ready to go the distance. Also, the Latino was actually the rare breed of being a big dicked man who knows how to fuck. And  I can give a fair critique on this because I'm not a size-queen whose rectum is so stretched out that only a long and/or thick cock can reach the nerve endings that let one feel like they're getting a good fuck.

The 2nd party was about a week or two later. It was at the party that I mentioned in a previous post telling how Ty and myself let out our sexual tensions from our photoshoot together. Before the last of the 4 times we fucked, Ty asked me if I've ever been double-penetrated. We were going to give it a try with this Black guy that was there, but the Black guy at the time didn't get hard enough to get in my tight hole. The Black guy did eventually get his needed boner to get into me. Ty fucked another volunteer because he was so turned on by it. And me and the Black guy went at it so long that after we were done, I came out to find the host, Cade and all the volunteers standing around. That's when Cade broke the news to me saying, "We're all waiting for you."

So it turns out that me and the Black guy shut the party down.

With that 1st tryst putting my hole to the test, then the suggestion of a double-penetration so soon after that tryst, all coming so close to the end of 2010, I'm taking those as signs that this year, 2011 will be the year that a double-penetration will finally come to fruition for me.

What I need now are 2 hot guys willing to rub their 2 hot throbbing sticks together, and start a pleasing fire in my hole.

And while it's not a requirement, it would be nice if I could record it for all to see. Because porn studios make it seem as if getting your ass double-penetrated is a White guy thing. However, by my blog post on the matter, you know that some sweet Black asses want to be double-stuffed as well. So wouldn't you like some video as further proof?

Just putting the idea out there. After all, this year I do turn "The Big 4-0".

;-)