Yes, I keep saying it but....I LOVE MY POST-PORN LIFE!!!!
And I'm not repeatedly saying that to convince myself that I am. I keep repeating it because I didn't think it was possible to actually feel this way.
I've mentioned in some previous posts how I was scheduled to pose for the Leslie/Lohman Erotic Drawing Studio. Well, that time has come and gone, but it didn't go without me have a great story to tell about the experience. The good thing about it is that this was a bout of exhibitionism where (unlike with porn) no drama ensued. This was all FUN.
I've mentioned in some previous posts how I was scheduled to pose for the Leslie/Lohman Erotic Drawing Studio. Well, that time has come and gone, but it didn't go without me have a great story to tell about the experience. The good thing about it is that this was a bout of exhibitionism where (unlike with porn) no drama ensued. This was all FUN.
When I started to write this post, I asked the Erotic Drawing Studio's Director, Rob Rosen if he could contact some of the artists to give me pictures of their sketches. And I am very happy to report that Chuck Nitzberg, David Wolfe, and Rob Clarke were gracious enough to donate pics of their sketches to me to use in this post. So I advise you to check out the links connected to their names to see more of what they do.
The first funny moment came about during this pose:
While my focus point during this pose was a piece of tape of the wall, out of the corner of my eye, since he was sitting in the front, I noticed how detailed the artist, David Wolfe's sketches were. The pose was timed to be for 20-minutes. But I saw David had stopped drawing, and sitting there with his arms folded.
I thought to myself, "Why did he stop? Did he come this far in it just to give up? What the f-----?!"
That's when, because I was still posing, I moved only my eyes to really look at what he had done. Only to see that he was actually done before the allotted 20-minutes.
Some of you know that I draw as well. In fact, there were designs on that jacket and some other clothes I've worn that were designed and painted on by me. But I will admit that I am no where near as good as some of these guys. Because if I was drawing, to be as detailed as David was, there would be no way I would be done in 20-minutes. But I was so focused on holding the pose that I forgot about the simple fact....he's not me, and I'm not him. So there are creative skills he will have that I won't, and vice versa.
The next funny thought came about during this pose. I thought it would be a difficult pose to hold for 20-minutes, but I challenged myself to do it anyway. While doing so, I told myself to (as always) find a focus point, and not to move. The funny thing is that recently I went to my Mom's house, and "Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs" was on the television, and while on the modeling stand, this scene where the Tyrannosaurus Rex shows up popped into my head:
I couldn't for the life of me get that little porcupine-looking creature out of my head, and I was on the verge of busting out laughing while on the modeling stand. Luckily, I kept my composure. Now, I can roll on the floor and let out all that pent-up laughter.
The next funny thought came about when I got into position for this pose:
Once again, I got in position, and told myself to find a focus point. During the evening, I've used things from a tape on the wall to labels on the bottom of a folded chair. This time, I had something that at a glance was way more detailed - and it was. As I got in position, my eyes immediately fell on a painting in the hallway. The funny thing is what it was a painting of....Jesus on the cross.
I thought to myself that since I'm going to be here for the next 20-minutes, I might as well make good use my time here, and say a prayer. So I said, "Dear God, please help me to hold this pose for the next 20-minutes. Lord, please keep my head up, and don't let me nod off in front of all these people. And since I'm already taking a risk by being butt-naked up here asking this much of you, I won't ask you for help with the final pose, because I may be buying myself a golden ticket to hell if I do. So I'll just ask that one prayer. Amen."
That final pose of the evening that I mentioned in the prayer was a masturbation pose. I was a bit worried if I could pull this off (no pun intended), because this was a first for me. The last time I did an entire jerk-off session while being watched was while doing one of my live shows for ShowGuys.com back in 2005 - 2006. There was the host and his helper monitoring the request of viewers online, but even then, I was jerking off to whatever porno was playing unseen by the camera. Now, it was never discussed if I used any thing besides my imagination as a way to get me off. And the fact that I used my imagination while in a room full of people is what made this an adventurous first for me. I could have asked if I could use something, but being an Aries and loving to challenge myself, I decided to go it totally solo - with the only prop around me being the chair that I was sitting on.
To prepare myself, I put on one of the videos on my cell phone to get me hard. But I didn't hold the image in my memory. It was have been too confining a fantasy. I also bought along some Wet® Synergy that I got from The Wet Platinum Man. I put some on my cock, and took a leap of faith thinking that it would last me for the entire 25 minutes of the pose, and put the bottle back in my bag, then went and sat on the chair. Well, it turns out that my leap of faith paid off, because the Wet® Synergy lasted for the entire pose.
I've noticed that I've become better at displaying my exhibitionism since retiring from the porn industry. Because when the drawing studio's director was keeping time and announcing how much time we had left, I paced myself to be ready to shoot my load not long after he said, "One minute".
During my time in porn, if I felt like a director was putting a time strain on me, my balls got rebellious, and said, "Don't rush me, bitch! I'll let go of this man-milk when I'm good and damn ready!"
On this night however, my body said, "One minute? OK, here's your cumshot. Enjoy." Noticing this, I've come to the conclusion that there's a certain energy on a porn set that my subconscious mind never approved of, which explains the long time it took me to give a cumshot. But it was in TOTAL approval however of the energy in that drawing studio, because it didn't come too soon, nor did it come too late.
One thing I did not expect to occur was for one of the co-founders of the Leslie/Lohman Gay Art Foundation, Charles Leslie to stop by. Rob introduced us. And while I don't know how long he was there, I do believe he was there long enough to see me give the artists a "happy ending". So I did good.
What fascinated me most of this experience was to see during the breaks, the variety in interpretations of me by the artists and the individual artistic styles. Varieties that you can see for yourself. For one reason or another, in my past times of modeling for sketch artists, I never got the chance to see that variety. But getting to see it made this experience the most fun. So much fun that I DEFINITELY wouldn't mind doing it again.
And if they want me with a partner, that's a possibility as well. ;-)
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