Banned From The Sex @ 30 Lex

I have mentioned in past blog posts that I was a volunteer at a sex party. But if you recall, I never went into much detail for promoting its actions at length in blog posts like I have with the NY Jock Party, Milk Chocolate NYC Party, and the now ended Hot Jock Party. That sex party that I didn't say much about was then called Olympus, later became Testosterone, and now called Inferno held at 30 Lexington Avenue. The reason I never promoted it was because it was inspiring blog posts about wrongs done at sex parties ----by the host. Namely "Sex Party Etiquette: No Lying Hosts, No Bigoted Patrons" and "Blackout Room = Troll Central Station".

A couple of months ago, I volunteered at the party while it was still called "Testosterone". This was my last time there.

I did the usual job of monitoring the bathroom. When I arrived, I relieved the volunteer who was there at the time, and stood there. After about 30 minutes, the party's floor manager noticed how long I was there, and asked if I wanted to be relieved. I told him I was fine staying there. While standing there a tall, slim, tanned guy came over and we started making out while I was still at the post. As we talked, it turned out his tanned skin in that dark was because he was Italian. He wanted to play with me more in the playroom, but while hoping he wouldn't leave before I had the chance to, I told him I was working. Then about another 15 minutes later, the floor manager came around again, asking if I wanted to be relieved. This time, I told him I did. This made it an entire 45 minutes without a break.

The reason I allowed it to be so long before having a break was so that when I did get a break, I would have a nice long amount of playtime in return. Once the volunteer I relieved came back to resume the post, I went to go play. Luckily, my Italian playmate from before was still there, and I topped him as he laid on his stomach. Once my dick was in his ass, I found myself fucking him like a savage banging against his soft ass cheeks. Then I slowed down, laid on top of him, grinding in his hole to make sure I didn't come too soon. Surprisingly, I didn't with his soft ass underneath me turning me on. Then I picked up speed again, then slowed down again. This back and forth went on for about 15 minutes, with him jerking off and cumming during the last 2 minutes.

I then got on the line for the bathroom to wash off with intentions of going back to play with whomever might be hot in the room. While I was on the line, The volunteer I relieved told me that when I was done in the bathroom, to come back to the post because he wanted to get fucked. I felt this was unfair considering how much time I already allowed him. And in the past, while at that post, I have topped guys and been topped from behind while doing that simple job of telling guys, "One at a time".

To avoid lashing out at the unfairness of this volunteer, I never responded to his request, and went back to playing as I originally planned. The problem that occurred was that the volunteer took it for granted that I was going to do what he asked, and he went off to play as well, which left the bathroom unsupervised. The owner came with an attitude requesting BOTH me and the other volunteer. Even the floor manager said to the host/owner right in front of me how I was standing at the post for such a long time.

My feeling with the owner's attitude was "How dare he?!"

How dare he have an attitude when he's hosting a party where he sends out emails promising all these hot guys, and the few hot guys who come in will fuck once, or not at all, and then jet out the door. I know this because I've been those hot guys' one fuck, and missed out on getting their info. Just like that night. All because the majority of guys are out-of-shape and won't take "No" for an answer. Some out-of-shape to the point of looking like the X-Men nemesis, Blob. OR having White guys with their attitude of "White Entitlement" giving me attitude and rushing past me when I tell them the rule for the bathroom of "One at a time". I say "White Entitlement" because while patrons who are Black and other ethnicities are also annoyed by the rule, they hardly (if ever) gave me a problem like pushing pass me like the White ones have. 

All this, plus the owner's attitude with this incident, I decided I was done volunteering.

One day, I came across a blog listing all the sex parties in the city called "Adventures in Group Sex". With the listings, it also gives reviews. When I saw its review of Testosterone, it was so on point that as a writer, since I had quit over being done lying to myself of the vibe getting any better, I felt the need to let the truth come out to some degree. So I wrote this comment:

LeNair Xavier said...

I used to volunteer at the TESTOSTERONE (formerly OLYMPUS) party, and I agree with all too much with what you've said about it. Hence why I have never wrote a post on my blog to promote it. Unlike MILK CHOCOLATE NYC party which I've dedicated a whole category to. Nor do I write much telling of what I've seen or done at TESTOSTERONE except to post it in my "Sex Party Etiquette" category because someone fucks up. And it's usually one of those old,aggressive, out-of-shape guys that you mentioned in your review.

September 10, 2011 7:57 PM

Well, recently I discovered that I was banned not just from the party Testosterone---but the entire space. 

After I confronted Testosterone's host/owner of the space as to why I was banned, he said that my comment on "Adventures in Group Sex" was the reason why. Which I will not argue is understandable. So as far as any fair-minded person should be concerned, banning me from his party is fine. Besides, like I said before, I had already banned myself anyway from his party after that incident. Banning me from the space however, just shows how he can't accept the truth of his greed. Greed that will become more evident later.

I was pissed to learn of being banned. Not because of the being banned itself. But because of how I learned of it. You see, I didn't hear this from the host/owner himself. Someone else who holds a party there that I'm cool with is the one who informed me. This person has no place in a situation between me and that host/owner. So I was pissed to see someone not involved in our differences brought into the situation to be the host/owner's messenger pigeon. My feeling is that the host/owner could have sent a message or called me directly without involving this other person. If this other person was to learn of my not being able to come to the space, let him know after the host/owner was man enough to tell me himself. Just as I would have told the host/owner that I was no longer attending his parties after that last incident with the volunteer. That is, had I still been receiving emails since that night, but I wasn't. So I was under no obligation to tell of my no longer wanting to attend his party. But since it is his party, and his space, he is obligated to tell who he wants there without involving an outside unknowing party.

I like being proud of what I do and what I am a part of, and I use this blog to celebrate those things. And since I never said much about that party on this blog, I obviously wasn't that proud of it. So with hindsight being 20/20, my writing that comment on "Adventures in Group Sex" was actually not so much about me lessening my guilt over being involved with a party with false advertising about the patrons' physical requirements. It was subconsciously, my way of banning myself because of the party's dual advertising.

This is where the host/owner's greed gets worse.

For you see, there was something that I was going to tell in that comment on "Adventures in Group Sex" that I didn't. Instead, I took the road of saying "the party patrons are adults, so I'll let them see for themselves." But the fact is, I hate sitting on information that could help one's decision beforehand, when discovering it later can ruin a good time.

That something is that the party is advertised on different hook-up sites under 2 different names. Not such a big deal until you get ALL the details. The website I learned of the party by the name "Olympus" was on a general hook-up website. After discussing sex parties with a friend of mine, he was talking about a sex party happening on the same day of the week for barebackers called "Raw Pork". As the conversation progressed, it went from being that not only was the day of the week in common with the party I was volunteering at. But so was the start and end time, then finally the address. So I started a profile on the barebacking hook-up site my friend learned of the party from, and there along with the name "Raw Pork" was the same profile pic and screenname the host/owner used on the other site that I learned of the party by the name, "Olympus".

While I have long said that I am all for the freedom of choice when it comes to barebacking, this marketing always bothered me. Not so much for those who found the party the way I did, on a general hook-up site. Because in those cases, you're prone to run into someone who barebacks while you don't. BUT what about the hardcore barebacker who knows of the party ONLY from the barebacking hook-up site?

To have a better understanding of my past dilemma, look at this scenario that may or may not have already happened there:


You learned of the party from a barebacking hook-up site. You are totally unaware that the party has been advertised elsewhere under another name, and if it was, with the only name you know being "Raw Pork", you're expecting all patrons to be barebackers like yourself. So if you meet someone at the party who unbeknownst to you learned of the same party under a different name, and they are just as hardcore about condom use as you are about barebacking, (be he a top or bottom) when he demands use of a condom, you're going to be standing there thinking, "This is a barebacking party, so what you fuck are you doing here?"


And his reply might be, "Excuse me?! But where did you hear this?!"


From this point, this moment can go from being awkward to possibly hostile.


While wrestling with this, you might be wondering, why did I stay there as a volunteer for so long? Well, I never said I was perfect. I do try to be close, but even in my attempts, I sometimes falter like everyone else. Sometimes finding myself bought off by the most common in payments for one's silence ever since the dawn of mankind. In this case, by my being a volunteer that age-old payment was ---FREE SEX.


The thing about free sex as a payment is that it has an expiration date that makes you need to move on, and sometimes come clean. Whether it's because you're tired of the person, or your conscience is tired of taking a backseat every time you consider venturing to a certain place, as it was in this situation.


I'm not crying over being banned. Not at all. Sex parties are not my life. If they were my life, I wouldn't have spent so many weeks away before that incident at Testosterone happened. I had a great sex life before going to sex parties, and I will continue to do so no matter how many I do or do not attend.


None of the emails I received while volunteering never mentioned the party, "Raw Pork". And at last check before writing this post, the general hook-up sites posting of the party is more honest than before about its patronage. However, it still makes no mention of the bareback party, "Raw Pork", not even as a separate posting on that general hook-up site.


So the final question one may ask is: Is this post one written out of vengeance? Victor Hoff of MOC Blog has often said that I use my blog and comments for score-settling. Truth be told, what writer doesn't? Part of any human being's settling the score is by venting, either publicly or privately. And that would apply even more so to a writer as they often do it publicly. However, I let Karma be my vindicator. So a post like this is my way of settling the score ---by making one aware of what they've done to send Karma their way. Also, I hate the idea of anyone being unnecessarily hostile at not just a sex party, but any party.


So when you put it all together, my venting in this blog post is 1 part - score settling, 1 part - confession, and 1 part - prevention. Because if you want to go to this guy's party, I could care less. Feel free. But at least by all that I've told here, if you didn't know before like I did when I signed on as a volunteer, you now know what you're getting into, and won't be flying blind.