Write That Down #42

Over time, a lot of people have told me that I look great for my age, which in case you didn't know, I am presently 40, and will turn 41 come the very end of March. This is not me blowing my own horn, but look at how much I've aged from the early 1990s till now:

When asked what do I do to keep myself looking so young, I always tell people that I live by a motto on a mug my late grandmother had that said, "Don't Let The Bastards Wear You Down". The fact is my living a life of not letting people get to me is only part of what helps me to maintain my youthful appearance. The problem is if I tell the other part to the people complimenting me, I'll probably scream at them to the top of my lungs. Because another part of what keeps my youthful appearance is the fact that I'm seldom to never do what they themselves are doing when they ask me.

You see, most of the people who ask me "What's your secret?" are people I meet who are in the midst of drinking way more than me, standing outside smoking, or doing drugs at a get-together while I'm drug-free. And some are White who along with one or more of the aforementioned, obviously frequent some tanning salon. So they just give the "Black don't crack" excuse for my more youthful appearance, rather than deal with the fact of how all those things are causing their inability to age well.


In short, they're doing one or more of the few things that the health news has yet to backpedal on in telling you how some or too much of it is bad for you.


My looking so young is actually what helped to start my time in porn, and what gets some asking if I'll make a return. It's also part of the reason why I'm seldom attracted to guys my own age. Because too many males my age are worn-down-looking, and look old enough to be my father rather than my boyfriend. So I instead wind up getting involved with 20-something losers like the guy from "Paying (Ends---My 'Friend')", who I am now realizing are nothing more the younger versions of the guys my own age before the alcohol, smoking, drugs, and/or tanning took their toll.


Now, any American adult knows that America is a youth-obsessed society, and the gay community worldwide is even more obsessed with youth than the straight majority. With that being the case, that's why my latest "Write That Down" quote asks:


If gay males hate aging soooo much, then why the fuck are so many of them heavy drinkers, drug users, smokers, and frequenting tanning salons? ...ALL of which speed up the aging process.

Please don't ask me what the reason is, because I don't have a solid answer for you. The best I can gather is that many gays have a self-destructive streak because they still harbor the parental, regional, and/or religion-induced shame over their homosexuality that I lost pretty much the moment I came out to myself. In short, they have yet to grow up, and love themselves. So until they decide to accept AND love themselves, be they 20-somethings and beyond, I'll continue to revel in my single status, and not love them either.


Because if they don't find themselves worth acceptance and love,...then why should I?