Dope Dick

Just about every gay male and straight female who has spent time with an alcoholic and/or drug user knows of what I'm about to tell you. With alcoholics, it's called "whiskey dick". With cocaine users, it's called "coke dick". With other drugs, I don't know what it's called. But since all of it takes an idiot to repeatedly put themselves in these situations where alcohol/drug prohibits the guy from being able to "perform" sexually, I have simplified it all with the term "dope dick".

The term "dope dick" is already in use in the Urban Dictionary. However, I think my reasoning behind defining it as such is better than any meanings they have listed.

For instance, my most loyal readers may recall my blog post from September 2007 The Cock-Adieu-I Do and Coke-I-Don't. Well besides that patience trying incident with a drug user, there was another that I never spoke of.

One night out, I met a guy who was kind of husky, but I still found myself attracted to him. This was odd because husky guys who can be healthy are not at all my ideal body type in a sex partner. It was probably for this reason that when he invited me back to his place, I went along. For as a single man, I like being taken out of my routine type every once in awhile. Just present yourself with the heart to inspire it. Also keep in mind that this was before I became as versatile as I am now, so I was still more of a bottom. Anyway, we get back to his place, start fooling around, and when it comes time for him to get hard, after all my fondling, and sucking on his dick ---no reaction. At this point he confess, "I did a little coke earlier. I'm sorry."

But wait! IT GETS BETTER!

This was after 3 a.m., and then he tells me, "I don't feel comfortable having strangers staying in my bed. Sorry, I know I'm being a dick", which means not only am I not getting the dick that I came back there for because his drug addicted ass can't get it up. But to top it all off, he was enough of a fuck-faced faggot to send me home after 3 a.m. from as far as he knows, an unfamiliar spot!

This warranted my response to his self-proclaiming of him being a dick with me saying, "Well, at least you know that much about yourself." So after I left his apartment with his repeat apologies that was about to get me to bloody up his apartment with his own busted skull, I made my way home. Luckily, I knew the area enough to know where to go.

I must confess that I am no stranger to being the dope who gets "dope dick". So my right to damn the stupidity of getting dope dick comes from my being on both sides of the situation. I met this cute French guy who was here on vacation. We were fooling around in a group in a bar bathroom, but as things progressed, I could see that we took a greater liking to each other. All that time, my dick was doing a see-saw of hard and soft. It was like my brain was trying to decide that although I wasn't drunk, whether or not to let the alcohol take hold of my cock's ability to get hard. Afterwards, we discovered that we had to go home not only on the same train, but get off at the same stop. So we rode the train together. After we got off, he invited back to where he was staying. I loved seeing his naked body, but the see-sawing of my dick continued.

We got to the point of where he positioned himself to bottom for me. I looked at his ass, while stroking my dick, and I got hard. But the moment I paused to put a condom on, the see-sawing of my dick had it go down. I did have one try where I was able to get inside him for a good 30 seconds. And though he seemed to love it, it wasn't enough time to stimulate me to stay hard. So the attempts at putting on the condom kept happening to me about 2 or 3 more times to where all we were left with was jerking off.

It is for reasons such as this that make guys go bareback when they shouldn't. Because if I could have avoided that condom, or been dishonest enough to pretend to wear it and fuck him raw, my dick would have been in his little French bubble butt while turning him in all directions to do the Gay Kama Sutra.

What made me think I had a shot was because when I drink, my alcohol drink of choice is seldom the only drink all night. I go back and forth between alcohol drink, then water or soda, alcohol drink, then water or soda, and I repeat that switch all night. And even though I only did it like 3 times, I probably didn't have enough in my stomach for that to work in its usual capacity. Hence the see-sawing of my erections all night.

I'm not a constant drinker. I am not an alcoholic by any means. So this was the night I discovered that I was susceptible to whiskey dick. Had I known before what I know now, I would have never went home with that French guy, because I would have known that I couldn't perform. So why waste both of ours time? What I fault those other guys for is the fact that by their reactions to the cocaine's effect on them, they've done this before. So it's quite likely that they've disappointed others as well.

Like I said before,I'm no stranger to being the dope who gets "dope dick". So from this incident with me as "the dope", my right to damn the imbecility of it comes from my being on both sides of the situation, AND unlike most, owning it.

So with all that in mind, I’d like to close not with a poem to sum up all I have said here, appropriately titled,