Gay Media's NEEDED New Year's Resolutions

Over time with this blog, as well as on their websites, I have made it no secret of how much of a bad taste various gay media sources have disappointed me. So as the new year is soon arriving, I would like to ask these gay media sources to make the following New Year's resolutions below. So that we can finally bury the hatchet, and bridge the gap between, not just me, but the many in the gay community who have come to, and unknowingly agree with me.

I'm sure I could have a longer list. However, let's start with these few, but very important things so that the healing between us can begin. Thank you.

See Chocolate Sexy, Beautiful, and Love: Neapolitan's Inspiration

It's very easy just to write about sex in a story, song, or poem. But it takes work to make that tale have a message that readers can get.

In the case of a poem I recently wrote entitled "Neapolitan", the word just popped in my head. I felt that word popped in my head for a reason. It had to be. After all, as an American ice cream flavor, Neapolitan is by no means my favorite. So I wasn't being subconsciously sent out to go buy some. This led me to feel that Fate was using the word to symbolize a message I needed to share. More specifically, an erotic message.

Then it hit me as a lot of recent events flooded my mind.

Such as the behavior of Whites at the last GBU/NY Jock Party I attended. The absence of Blacks in underwear modeling as I addressed in "Black Guys Wear Underwear, Too". And the saturation of White (and maybe light-complexioned non-White) males in too many ads and videos promoting parties held here in the multi-ethnic mecca that is NYC. All of this led me to again be reminded (not that I ever forgot) how in gay nightlife and media Whites are the only sign of intellect, humanity, and beauty, with Latinos being 2nd in line, but only if they're also light-complexioned. Meanwhile, I can easily point out specific instances that show one race to not be any better than the other.

What also came to mind was how in sexually desire, non-Whites are treated like fetishes and not human beings, and how anger over this may translate into those treated as such using sex as a weapon of revenge, namely Blacks. A matter I addressed in purple print in "Return to Boxers & Briefs".

The idea of Black males using sex as a weapon has been forced down our throats in pornography. From Bobby Blake to Diesel Washington and the like in gay porn, or Sean Michaels, Lexington Steele to Brian Pumper and the like in straight porn, Black males have always been shown borderline raping their White counterparts. And Whites who colorize sexuality perceive this to be what we are, therefore understandably fear us. For this kind of sexual display shows no potential for a loving heart. So this became a damaging image of Blacks I wanted to undo with "Neapolitan".

With a fetish, you can take it or leave it. And there are no real worthwhile judgments against you should you decide to leave it. Whites are not treated as such. All media, be it magazine, TV/web series, or porn, act as if you don't like Whites, then you're looked upon as if you're inhumane. However, we Black and Asians are treated like we're disposable. As if to say, "You don't like Whites?! What's wrong with you?! Now, if you don't like those niggers and chinks, no big deal. They're an acquired taste anyway."

Well let me remind you that acquire taste known as Blacks is sometime referred to as Chocolate.
Now, should you confront people on having that attitude, they'll say that they would never say those words. However, the old adage still holds true that action speaks louder than words.

Whether it's the man or woman's mouth, a woman's vagina, or a man or woman's rectum, and regardless of the person's ethnicity, we are all pink inside our mouths and asses. In this case

After all of this, the colors and flavors of Neapolitan coming together had a meaning to translate into erotic poetry.
Chocolate was the penis of a Black male.
Strawberry was the inner flesh of the mouth, vagina, or ass.
And Vanilla was the ejaculation from the Chocolate and Strawberry coming together.

So the purpose of Neapolitan was to reassure Black males of their beauty and sexuality, and how they did not have to mold themselves into these bad sexual images of us put out by the media. And also let non-Blacks knows that those images are not who we are, and how much those of us Black males who are men appreciate when we are not seen with such stereotypical sexual ugliness.

What makes Neapolitan more special is that the message of its lyrics not only easily crosses over various colors/ethnicities being with Black men, but also sexual orientations of Black men. So while I am proud of the eroticism of the poem, the behavior from those around us that inspired a need for it is what I'm troubled by.

Maybe you will come see it as it is very likely that I will debut at the next open mic of "Titillating Tongues".

See the video here.

You Are Not Alone - Not A Black Documentary

Last Monday night, I attended a screening by DGBM of the documentary, "You Are Not Alone" by NAACP Award-winning director, Stanley Bennett Clay.

After hearing of DGBM(Depressed Black Gay Men), I was apprehensive about seeing this film because as proven from watching the documentary, the issues that cause depression among gay Black males are no different than in any other ethnicity. However, as I brought up to the director privately after the screening, gay media as we know it always puts a White face on all of the issues in coming out. Mr. Clay's response to me was, "Well, they're telling their stories, so we must tell ours."

And that's what has always bothered me about American gay media - the separatism of such universal issues. In regards to coming out as a gay American, because of the variety in ethnicities in this country, there should be no Black people's story, White people's story, Latino, Asian, Middle Easterner's story, etc. There is no color to the depression that some of us face. For it is all a COLOR-BLIND HUMAN story. Nor is it based on religion, since there are even atheist households that hate homosexuals. So depression takes its toll on them as well.

The reason why documentaries like "You Are Not Alone" have become necessary is because gay media makes Black families the bad guys in halting the progression of gay rights. How many stories on gay media websites during the campaign for gay marriage did we not see fingers repeatedly pointed at Black churches? Trying to make us quickly forget the Mitt Romneys and Michele Bachmanns and her husband with his "conversion therapy". That is until Election Day was nearing.

So I say requests to see this film should definitely be made. Not only so families of Black gay males can watch and learn from it, but non-Black gays of all ages as well. So they can realize that despite what the racism in gay media has told you, our situations, our struggles with our families, and ourselves are COLOR BLIND and NO DIFFERENT.

Black Guys Wear Underwear, Too!

Some of you need something brought to your attention.

 

As much as you may lust after underwear models, how many of you have noticed that with maybe the exception of Calvin Klein, Jocks By RJ and recently 2(x)ist, most underwear companies NEVER use medium to dark complexioned models?

And if they do it is under extreme tokenism, like the m.o.'s of C-IN2, or Andrew Christian with some of his videos - obviously aimed at pleasing the White aesthetic. Even if they use them for fashion shows in certain areas, medium to dark complexion models are practically never hired to become the main spokesmodel for any company.

This problem is big in the modeling world, but no one will publicly discuss it at length. Mainly because all parties involved want to make their money, and not rock the boat while doing so. The marketing departments of the underwear companies are guilty, so the reason for their silence is obvious. Models themselves of whatever color won't say anything to avoid losing potential future work. Lastly, modeling agencies and photographers won't say anything to avoid losing present and/or potential clients from the big name racist companies. I know this one for a fact because I saw a modeling agency that is owned by a male of color and works primarily with models of color put out a call for underwear models in  a Facebook posting. The posting called for White, Latino, and even Asian. BLACKS HOWEVER WERE NOT AT ALL MENTIONED, AND THE AGENT KNEW IT BY ADDRESSING IT IN THE POSTING CITING THE REASON I STATED FOR AGENCIES' SILENCE IN THIS MATTER. So the code of silence about the racism is very similar to the one I experienced while in gay porn.

This is where I come in....

....Someone who sees a wrong, and doesn't care about the consequences of addressing it. For I know I have the strength of character and the multiple talents to survive after all the sell-outs and guilty parties have turned their backs on me. I did it with gay porn, and I am prepared to do it again with the modeling world.

Before I continue, let me state for the record, I have had an exchanges with some of these companies via social networking sites regarding their limited use of Black models. However, I have gotten very political replies in return.

My friend, Ben Marksman brought up an interesting line of reasoning that he was hoping would explain the absence of Black underwear models. He said that it might have something to do with the belief of Black guys having bigger penises, so Whites in marketing fear feeling inferior by putting those believed to be bigger penises in underwear for all to see. Well, I can say IF that plays any part at all, them it's a small part (no pun intended). I say this because Latino males are also known  for big penises, and companies like Andrew Christian, C-IN2, 2(x)ist, N2N Bodywear, Male Power, etc. seem to have no problem with hiring light-complexioned Latino males to model their underwear. So while it is a racism issue, it goes even deeper by being a light and dark color issue.

Recently, Andrew Christian put out a casting notice for Asian and Black models. It's unfortunate that I'm skeptical, but it's very much justified. For as I stated earlier past inclusion of Blacks in Andrew Christian underwear ads have been both sporadic and token uses. All you have to do is look at the photo above and his videos to back up the truth in my statement.

Gregg Homme put out a casting notice as well that is not ethnicity-specific.

I am giving them some leeway because they are not based here in the U.S., but in Canada. However, with their intent to grow here in the U.S. is why I have submitted my pics for consideration. For racism is so out of control in this country that diversity in your advertisement casting is a must to avoid a public outcry, even if the media tries to downplay it as being a whisper.

Now, if those heading these ad campaigns really do feel an inferiority due to the "Black is bigger" theory, then wouldn't it be wise of them to show us wearing briefs and bikini underwear to cage those "bigger & blacker" endowments? It seems like a smart move to me. For them, better that than to have Black males doing a boycott of underwear companies to the point that those big Black dicks start poking out of boxers or bulging in our jeans, slacks, and shorts because us Black guys have all gone commando.

Evidently their advertising departments are not color-blind enough to beauty to think so. And agencies and photographers don't have the big enough balls to take them to task on it. And with models being expected to be faces and bodies with no thought in order to get the next  modeling job, they are the ones that we can expect to see the least amount a stand on this matter.

With all that said, my parting words are for these underwear companies:

If your companies were to suddenly start hiring darker models of color, it doesn't change a thing. Because the only reason you would do so is because of an outcry from blog posts like this. And if that's what it takes to make you acknowledge people of medium to darker complexions as symbols of beauty, or as part of your target market, then at this point why should we care?

For while some of you seem to be just now getting around to trying, from my perspective, the damage is already done. Especially by American companies. For you already told on yourself of your limited thinking as to who is beautiful enough and financially able to wear your products by your numerous videos and ads with White and light-complexioned Latino models. And these are times when the Black American community and those non-Blacks with enough humanity to understand have ALL reached a point that unless you are an agent profiting from the commission, or a Black model himself, tokenism is not appreciated. And it is damn sure not respected.

Furthermore, if you have any real humanity, it shouldn't take a public outcry to make you aware of your oversight. Especially, if you call yourself an American. For as an American, showing diversity should be ingrained in your brain.

So it's a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" scenario at this point. But it is of your own doing.

DL Guys, Fuck Me With Your Eyes

On November 16th, I debuted a poem entitled "Fuck Me With Your Eyes" at the open mic event of "Titillating Tongues". It was a poem I wrote telling a story of me responding to being courted by a guy on the "down low". This is the pic I used to promote it on Facebook, Twitter, and my Tumblr blog.

After posting this pic, surprisingly no one has ever asked, whose eyes are those behind me?

The answer...Nickolay Petrov.

Why did I use him? It was my way of calling out my own bad misjudgment that I acknowledged in "Gotta Kick Myself: Porn Regrets Born". For when I was interviewed for the book "Ultimate Starz", one questioned I was asked was if I was to make a movie called "Tre's X' Orgy", who would my 4 costars be? I regrettably named Nickolay Petrov as one of the 4 guys.

If the name, "Nickolay Petrov" is unfamiliar to you, it's probably because he's a former porn actor. A former porn actor whose real name is Edmon Vardanyan. The reason he is no longer on the scene is because he was sent away to prison. Something that I once pointed out almost 5 years ago seems to be a constant with many gay-for-pay porn actors. Committing violent acts against people perceived to be weaker than them. So while at the time of being asked the question for the book, I was unaware that Nickolay Petrov was "gay-for-pay" it would have resulted in regret had the opportunity to bottom for him in a scene presented itself. So again I say, "Thank you, Gay Porn Industry Racism!"

Another reason to use Nickolay Petrov was to show that the lusting eyes of those "on the down low" is not the "Black thing" the media tries to make it seem. For one personal story I can tell is how I went to a sex party a few years ago, and saw an attractive guy there who may have been either White or a light-complexioned Latino. I noticed he was wearing a gold wedding ring. He made it clear that he was interested. At the time, the rules I have in play of learning specifics of his real relationship were not in play like they are today, so I went along and we started making out. When it came time to get a condom, I told him what I was going to do and that I'd be right back. When I came back with the condom,...he was gone. Now what if we had unprotected sex like he seemed to want, and I had an STD? Then he was not only putting himself at risk, but his wife as well.

Do I have fantasies about sex with straight guys? I have never denied the fact that I do. In fact, gay porn is so phony that most of the porn I watch is straight porn with me wishing that guy would do to my ass what he's doing to that girl's pussy. But part of being a man and not lessening your manhood to what I define as a "faggot" is by knowing when to leave things as being just a fantasy by respecting reality.

On websites like Adam4Adam, I have encountered many guys whose profile will say "Out No". This could mean either he's not into the gay scene as far as going to bars/clubs. Or worse, he could be not respecting his reality by living the double-life known as "life on the down low". Based on all that I've written here about the first, you can see why I don't fault him. However, if his "Out No" means being on the down low, then he and his cowardice make him lie to not only himself, but also his female significant other, makes him need to move on so he can man-up.

Sadly, there are gay males who don't feel the same. And they should be ashamed of themselves for that. For we are enough at risk either going home with strangers, or letting them into our homes after meeting them on the streets, in bars/clubs, or online. So why would you up the ante to that risk by inviting someone who is obviously so mentally and emotionally disturbed that they would advertise in conversation or a profile the secretive double-life they're living? Making you an accomplice to them deceiving their female significant other. And worst of all, possibly killing you as a way to keep their secret.

All to stroke your ego and say, "I got a straight guy"?...WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!!

If that is the case, then you are just as demented as he is. And while I don't wish you ill-will, if something heinous happens to you, then you brought it upon yourself.

When I see someone say they're on the down low, the outcome like this from the movie "Johns" comes to mind. Yes, the movie is about male prostitutes working the streets, and the john as a speech impediment, but that doesn't change the possibility of this outcome becoming real for you at anytime.

So since guys on the down low have a secret to keep. What's to stop them from doing you harm to silence you? Hence why if they want to fuck me, they can do it by looking, then masturbating to the fantasy after. But for their lack of manhood by not being true to themselves and those around them, they will never be worthy of the real thing that is me.

Where's the poem, you ask? I decided that I'm not going to post the poem here. All I'm going to say is that the message was well received at the event. So next time when I promote how I'm delivering a good message in my poetry, hopefully you'll come by so you don't miss out.

Sex Party Etiquette - Who Hired The Commentator?

Is it just me, or are you annoyed by those guys at sex parties who make you ask, "Since when did ESPN send commentators over to sex parties? Gay sex parties at that? Did I miss the point when gay sex became a sporting event?"

Well, let me tell you, they annoy the fuck out of me!

And for some reason they always seem to want to commentate in my ear. It's gotten to the point that I have started needing to show my disapproval by looking them up and down, then walking away from them.

Would you believe that I started this blog post 2 YEARS AGO?! The reason it's taken this long to address this is not because the behavior has stopped. Instead, it's because these idiots pretty much kept the commentating to moans and whispers of "Yeah, fuck his ass." The straw that broke the camel's back was that this time, I had some overcompensating shithead trying to be a gay sex education teacher, when he's not getting any action his damn self.

I was trying to top this Asian guy. I had topped this Asian guy before, but what I forgot was how many breaks he takes to sniff poppers. And it has been well documented here how I hate poppers, even most recently in my poem, "Run From The Fun", most of the 3rd stanza addresses this, as it reads:

Don’t need poppers

Don’t need T

All I need is lube and to crave you in me

For it’s my will to have you that makes me open wide

It’s a lesser man who needs a drug to let you inside

For a real man will do a drug-free withstand

Of a cock pencil-thin or thick like a beer can

Anyway, this night his popper use seemed worst than before. My mistake to even bother, but I started fucking his ass, and I couldn't get a good number of thrust in before he had to sniff his poppers. I tried again, and the same thing happened - another need to sniff. After this 2nd stop, my memory of his popper addiction got more refreshed, which made me get so annoyed that I just quit trying.

There was this Black guy watching. I kept seeing him around throughout the night, but not playing with anybody. After I tapped the Asian to signal my being done trying, he walked away. But just before walking away, he whispered to me, "Make him arch his back."

I looked back and said, "I know what to do."

The Black guy looked back knowing I was annoyed. Because evidently, my annoyance with the situation showed in my voice. And I didn't know which of the 2 withstanding annoyances was more prevalent in my tone: a) the Asian bottom whose lessened his manhood by being unable to take cock without using poppers incessantly, or b) this Black asshole who made himself an asshole by trying to play commentator to my action, when in any free moment I had, I never saw him do anything on his own all night.

When the Black guy made his comment, I never looked him completely in the face as I replied. Because I didn't want to put my eyes on him. For he already annoyed me with his presence by being the common bald Black gym-rat who obviously hits the gym to fit some White-ordained image of what a beautiful Black male should be. So for him to try criticizing me or giving me advice, because of the aforementioned, he needed to start criticizing and advising himself to be an individual, instead of being molded from a gay media-influenced cookie-cutter.

Furthermore, the fact that this guy's commentary came from him not even knowing the history of what I've experienced with this Asian guy and his popper use. And even furthermore, we are talking about the male sexual ego. A male at a sex party with any degree of logical thinking wants to be cheered on from the sidelines. Not guided by some other voice besides his own.

Now, do I go to sex parties and as far as I'm concerned see tops doing their bottoms wrong? ABSOLUTELY. But I leave them be. For they're 2 consenting adults, and what is going on between them is just that - between them. Therefore, they are to play director to one another. You need to stop being a nosey busy-body no-action-having little faggot, and stay the fuck out of it!

When you're at a sex party, the only sounds you really want to hear are the moans, groans, slaps from body contact, and the whispers and hollars from the pleasure - in short, the symphony of sex. All other sounds like your conversations and you commentating in someone's ear makes you a nuisance. At least for me, I don't need my ego stroked about how good a fuck I am by someone who I'm not fucking. I mean is my dick in your hole or in his? Exactly, HIS. So shut the fuck up! Thank you kind-LY.

Now, whether watching sex in a porn movie or at a sex party, I'm sure we all have the thoughts like, "Yeah, he's pounding that ass!", "Yeah, he's tearing that pussy UP!", or "Boy, he's givin' it to 'em!"

Keywords, people ---- "INSIDE VOICE!!!!!"

Yes, I'm thinking the same thing. Yes, I'm getting turned on. But my dick just went limp by hearing your out-of-control yap. Because your inability to keep it as an inner-thought makes it seem that you came here not out of the fun of watching sex (and maybe getting some yourself), but out of a desperation for sex so severe that you can't control yourself. And that will only lessen how attractive a self-assured person is going to find you. Now, if you came here to be the recipient of a mercy fuck - keep up the good work. But do your search over by someone else. Someone whose stupidity and lack of self-assurance makes them need that ego boost from you. The "stupidity" I speak of is because you're supposed to get reassurance of your skill from your partner who is suppose to receive pleasure from your body, not some random voyeur with no such connection. And your lack of self-assurance is shown by you taking a compliment or critique with no regard as to whether or not it's the proper source of a compliment or critique.

Sometimes this commentating is not only done by words. It can also be done by action. I've had a few occasions at sex parties and backrooms where I'm giving or receiving oral sex, and someone besides the receiver puts their hand of the giver's head to guide him. Again, WHO THE FUCK ASKED YOU?!

If I'm the one receiving, the guy who put their hands on the giver's head looks annoyed when I move his hand. And I don't care. Because putting your hand on him to guide his head is not your place. Since it's my dick in his mouth, it's my call. And if I'm the giver, then it's vice versa. Either way, communication is to be between the giver and receiver. Therefore everyone else, BACK OFF, SHUT THE HELL UP, and KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOUR-FUCKIN'-SELF!!!

With all that said, I'm going to close by saying this...Whatever you're overcompensating for, get your shit together, and stop being an oversized gnat in a guy's ear making him pay for it! Just because your lack of social grace has you miserable, do not try making us your company. Because if you think you're lonely now,...and no, I am not about to say the rest of those Bobby Womack lyrics....

What I'm saying is, if you think you're lonely now, ...your whispers shows ugliness to make sure you stay that way.