Get In Awe @ Drink-N-Draw

Most of the events that I promote being a part of are in Manhattan. Well, here's a change since this one is in my New York City home borough of Brooklyn.

Tuesday, February 5th, I'll be the model for that night at the weekly artist event, "Drink-N-Draw" at the bar, This n'That. You don't even have to be a professional artist. Just have a desire to draw and maybe better your skill. Photographers are allowed, as long as you're respectful and don't use flash. So no creepy pretend artists or paparazzi stopping in just to get their jollies are allowed.

I will have a few different looks for you to draw. Some you have seen, some you haven't. One you haven't seen will include my new purchases from JocksByRJ.com. So I won't be naked. But what I will be wearing won't leave much to the imagination. ;-)

NOTE: There is a 1 drink minimum.

Hence the name of the event.

Drink-N-Draw

@This n' That (TNT)

108 N 6th Street (between Berry & Wythe)

Brooklyn, NY

So get your art supplies ready, and I'll see you there.

Love Thy Neighbor, Fuck Thy Neighbor

Just like my poem and video Red Light, this poem is also me telling a very true story. And the title says it all. For this time, it's of me hooking up with a neighbor.

Since moving back to Brooklyn, I've hooked up with about 6 guys who live within 6 or less blocks from my place. But the one in this poem lived even closer than one block away. He lived just one floor up right over my head, with the photo to your right being that of our apartment doors and the staircase connecting us. Notice my "L" crest on the bottom door?

So when I said "neighbor", in this case, I really meant "neighbor".

And don't judge me. For I'm sure a good number of you have either laid some pipe, or had some pipe laid in you from a neighbor who lives just as close by. So I'm sure you will have no problem relating. Enjoy. ;-)

Love Thy Neighbor, Fuck Thy Neighbor

Neighbor invites me up to smoke haze and chat

A.k.a. pre-interview

For once I heard him ask my cock size

Only a fool could miss that as a clue

Fast forward to my approaching birthday

There I was being coy

As he offered his cakes to rub light on my candle

To get cream-filled by this birthday boy

I turned him down, but then told my friends

Doing this my body knew “doth protest too much”

He was wearing me down, and in a matter of time

Our dicks and asses would be in deep touch

One night he finally wore me down

For there he stood

One floor down to my apartment door

To experience a fucking so good

To see if all the skills I profess to have

Were all truth, or a bunch of lies

We’d been dancing around this for months

Now we were going to make each other wise

Like how the freeness of my porn past

Hid how I was actually a shy guy instead

Or his unlocking pics of a semi-soft dick online

Revealed an erect monster as he laid on my bed

After I sucked it, he whispered, “Take it”

As I straddled him taking every last inch in

Then while still in my tight hole, I was put on my back

For him to thrust, then gush his man-milk within

He often called at an hour so late

My cock was good for jerking off at best

But one night I got hard just enough

To feel the warmth and nice grip of his flesh

Then he asked if he could take my ass

I obliged, he gushed, and we were wet

You know quick intense sex has happened

When it even makes your ears sweat

Its intensity was Fate saying goodbye

For soon after came moving day

The end to lust laden lays

Just one flight of stairs away

The good book says to love thy neighbor

It never said to fuck thy neighbor

I found myself in a prudish moment

Thinking it inappropriate behavior

If it was, then we gave in to the sin

Of mutual lust from mutual consent

And with other sinful neighbors nearby

No sense being sad

Or dare repent

3 Flows of Man-Milk River/Neapolitan

This past Friday, as I said I would, I went to the erotica open mic event, "Titillating Tongues" and debuted 2 new poems entitled, "3 Flows of Man-Milk River" and "Neapolitan".

Especially with "3 Flows of Man-Milk River", I didn't have my intros too well-planned out, hence the stammering. My goal that night first and foremost was getting the poetry and sentiments behind them out. More so with "Neapolitan" whose importance of combating sexual racism was told in the backstory I posted a month ago.

In regards to the video's somewhat poor quality, I recorded it with my last cell phone. But again, the importance was the messages of eroticism and romanticism. So please enjoy.

Titillating on January 18th

I'm starting to use the erotica open mic event, "Titillating Tongues" as an event to debut my new works. And this go-around is no different.

The 1st debut will be a poem about ways one takes a male's jizz. It's entitled "3 Flows of Man-Milk River".

Followed by another debut that I mentioned before giving the backstory to....

The last time I went to "Titillating Tongues", there was enough time left that some people who already used the initially allotted 6-minutes to perform were able to take to the stage again. I wasn't able to take advantage of that because I had nothing prepared. I brought only the works I knew I would need. This time however, if such time is available, I will be prepared. Hence why I plan on bringing part of a scorching tale from the rough draft of my work-in-progress autobiography. So there! More reason for you to come by and see me.

So if you're in NYC, I hope you'll come by and support me, as well as the other erotica performers who will be showing their bravery by putting their artistic prowess on display.

Again, the event name is....

I hope to see you there. ;-)

Did Porn Teach You To Say 'Nigga', Nigger?!

Between summer and New Years, I had 2 instances where the word "nigga" was said to me. Take note that ANY variation of the word "nigger" pisses me off. So since I refuse to hang around the type of people who say it regularly, the only place I hear it is in gay porn. This got me thinking about how that word being said relates to the discussion I'm moderating February 1st about gay porn's part in our sexual and social interactions.

So these are the situations, and how gay porn probably played a part in them...

Teacher
Over the summer, this White guy hit me up on Grindr just weeks after his moving to Brooklyn from Pittsburgh. We hooked up a couple of times. The 1st time was at his place, while the 2nd time was at mine. During that 2nd time, during the sex he said, "Oh yeah! Give me that nigga dick!"

Now, many of us have had that moment when we're so caught up in the sensation from good sex that things that should make us stop the sex go without reaction until after the fact when 20/20 hindsight kicks in. This was such a time. He said to me after that he doesn't mean that word in a negative way. I tried to not react, and I let it go without discussion. This reaction from me had me concerned with myself. And like I said, with hindsight being 20/20, now I know why. I subconsciously stopped myself from reacting because had I reacted,...I would have probably choked the shit out of him and killed him. After all, it's not the 1st time I've heard some variation of the word "nigger" said to me, and I got some degree violent.

And his being White was not a factor in my being annoyed with him saying that word, as some of you might think. To further what I said earlier, no one, and I mean NO ONE is to use that word with me. I don't give a fuck what your color is. So to have the fuck-faced audacity to come into my home and say it, has you beyond having one foot in the grave, and one foot on a banana peel. Instead, you've shown yourself to be self-loathing enough to be so clumsy that you slipped on the banana peel, and fell in the grave. So now, you're just waiting for me to seal your coffin.

Once I got my head together on this to not be so heinously reactionary, he no longer returned my rather pleasant text messages checking on his well being. So since I never got to privately confront him on this, which is the gentlemanly route that he doesn't deserve, I am doing it publicly HERE. And I have emailed a link to this blog post to him. For I have some questions I would like him to ask himself. Even though I'm already sure of the answer. Those questions and answers being...

OK. If you don't really you think of me as a "nigger",...then why the fuck did you say any variation of it?! Since we teach people how we want to be treated, what behavior did I exhibit that taught you that that word is what you come into my home and say to me?! NONE!!! Therefore, what thought process made you think that I of all people was ok with you saying such an offensive word?! I don't behave like the ghetto trash you see in Chocolate Cream, DawgPoundUSA, FlavaWorks, Pitbull, ThugOverload, etc.

So where did you pull the logic to make you say that word to me? And with my last statement before that question, I'm sure I found my answer.

A White boy watching Black guys in today's ethnic gay porn teaches him this stupid way of how to relate to Black males. Especially, if he comes from somewhere where Black guys are not as plentiful as they are here in NYC.

Well, may this message be a lesson to him and the quality of people he surrounds himself with. For with nigger being a mindset that racist Whites from slavery times tried to label Blacks with when it can actually pertain to any color, only niggers say "nigga".

Indicator, or Both
I went to The Cock for New Year's Eve. While my desire to observe and study sexual behavior hasn't diminish, after my incident with the stalker I had over the summer, I've been quite cautious in how long I stay in backrooms. But I ventured there that night. And there was a dark-haired White guy there who I kind of had my eye on since he fit my weakness for tall and slim guys. Besides my being shy, I wasn't sure how to approach him because he came in with someone, and I wasn't sure if the guy was his boyfriend, or just a platonic friend. That's the problem with 2 gay males being together. Unless they kiss, you're never sure if they together as friends, or together as lovers. For some couples consist of people so emotionally damaged that they don't give off a romantic energy.

Anyway, as the backroom action heated-up, this guy was back there getting his dick sucked. There was a fat Black guy there blocking my way to him. And he was annoying me at this point, not because he was in my way, as much as because he was just standing there doing nothing. My feeling is if you're going to be that close, damnit, do something. Finally, he did do something. He started going down on the guy. Then I got a turn, but this is where the trouble started.

The fat guy put his hand on my back as if to guide me on sucking the guy's dick. Did I just speak of this stupidity in my last "Sex Party Etiquette" blog post. So I shrugged him off of me. The lard-ass said with a ghetto sob voice, "Ahhh, don't be like dat."

I looked back at him and said, "I don't need your help." I went back to sucking on the guy, and then stopped. A couple of other guys did after me. After a short while, the guy moved and put his cock back in front of me. So I went back, and suck on him some more. And the lard-ass put his hand on me again. I shrugged him off me again, and tried to maintain my calm.

Because I was about to say, "Excuse me! But at what point did it begin to seem like I need your help on how to suck this guy's dick?! 1)I wrote the blog post on how to do it right, and 2)Evidently, I'm on point, because everytime someone sucks on him, this man is looking over at me to come back and do it again. And this is not the first time such a thing has happened. So back the fuck off!"

But it wasn't easy keeping that thought to myself. Especially when the lard-ass decided to be the stereotype shown in practically all ethnic gay porn video by saying, "Yeah, suck that dick, nigga!"

In hindisght, hearing him say that is what started the questions to make me pitch the discussion I'm having on February 1st. For I couldn't help but wonder...was he imitating gay porn by saying this? Or were these trashy ass pornos indicating stupidity like his? OR was it some combo of the 2? Whatever the case, someone in our society OK'd something to make him (and the guy in the 1st story) believe that this is how we Blacks and their playmates are to sexually interact with each other sexually. The problem is they are supposed to be a grown ass men. So at some point, they should have woke the fuck up and realized saying this word was wrong.

This is why after he said those words, I thought to myself, "No the fuck he didn't! Was he really enough of a nigger to say the word 'nigga' to me?" Not only is it a low class ass that tries to make it a term of endearment in the first place. Even worse is the fact that he said it in public...in front of a bunch of non-Blacks who can hear him just as well as me. And if I didn't react, they'll think that I'm just as much of a low class ass as he is. And they would be right. Hence why after his second time saying it, I stopped sucking the guy's cock, and gave him a side evil eye. Because I was just a step away from finding something to gut this whale.

YES, I was just. that. PISSED.

For as told in my previous story, I don't like the word "nigga" directed at me coming from anybody of any color, I don't care how much you define it as a term of endearment. I define it as a sign of you being a nigger yourself - someone uncouth and massively lacking in social skills . So again, regardless of your color or ethnic background, only niggers say "nigga".

So if any of you guys who try hitting me up online have the word "nigga" in your profile, or in your messages to me, then find me ignoring you, now you know why. It's because, you don't deserve the greatness that is me. You can call it "arrogant". Call it, "bougie" for all I care. The truth is unlike you, I'm being a man about mine, therefore it's people with a higher self-regard who I choose as deserving of being in my circle. Thank you.

Write That Down #46

Just because you're Black and have White friends doesn't mean that you forget you're Black and that racism is STILL alive in 2012. So don't turn a blind eye to racism when it's staring you in the face just to appease them in order to avoid being accused of having ABMS (Angry Black Man Syndrome). If they're really friends worth having, or existing at all, they'll listen to your reality with an open-mind and increase the worth of their humanity by having enough compassion to learn something they didn't learn before.

Gay Porn: Sex Educator, Indicator, or Both

In November, I pitched a discussion idea to the group Men of All Colors Together/NY (MACT/NY). The topic was if gay porn was our sex educator, indicator, or combination of both. And I'm happy to announce that I got the green light.

The thought came to me because in mainstream media, there is now more of a gay presence. However, while there are still certain expectations made of straight sex by way of mainstream media, there are still slim to none of gay sex. And if there are, the number of positive ones are slim to none. This leaves straight sex to continue to have a choice of teachers (be they parents, mainstream media, and pornography), while gay sex is still left with pornography as its main (if not only) teacher. This brought to my mind questions like:

Based on certain actions we see in gay porn now, is it a good teacher for a mentally healthy attitude towards our homosexuality?

And based on some actions we see, is gay porn not teaching us, but instead showing us the point we've come to? And if that thing is for the worst, possibly giving us a wake-up call by being it in porn?

Now, based on the behavior, I have my own idea as to whether gay porn is our educator, indicator, or a combination of the 2. But I want to know what YOU think. Am I the only one seeing these things? 

The main porn actions to be addressed will be:

Barebacking

Gay-for-Pay/on the down low

Expectations based on race/ethnicity

Domination/Humiliation

Drug Use

Time permitting, we might be able to add to this list of topics. And why be shy about showing up and telling us your thoughts? You know you want to know, and at least you'll be among friends in possibly getting answers.