Sex Party Etiquette - Mi Casa AIN'T Su Casa, Bitch!

Back in mid-June, those of you who are friends with me on Facebook might recall this update:
Then within 24 hours, that update led to this tweet on my Twitter:

So how does that Facebook update lead to that tweet from Twitter?

It's because the tweet is about one of the guys from the threesome,...who I came to regret inviting over to my place later that night. 

I started regretting giving this invitation early on. As you will see later, my regret started before his arrival to my apartment.

When you first walk into my apartment, to your left is the stove and the sink. There is a light hanging over that area. A light that you won't see once you walk to your right, because their is a little wall coming down from the ceiling blocking that light. My bed is more than 6 feet away from that area. So any heat from that light is not going to affect the temperature of my room if we're on my bed. Now, the same can't be said for the light fixture that is over my bed. But I was smart enough to turn that light out. So what does this guy says?

"You should turn out that kitchen light. Makes less heat."

Hearing this reminded me how he did that same type of thing during the threesome at that host's apartment. I can't remember exactly over what, but his saying that to me jarred my memory to what I felt that host should say when this ill-mannered jerk did it to him. 

For while I maintained my calm during both instances, my first thought was to say something along the lines of what I thought that other host should have said, which was, "Look here, you Poindexter mutha fucka! Don't you dare come into my home trying to give me a science lesson, telling me what lights to turn out in my house! If your ass got here on time, instead of your missing brain cells from sniffing those mutha fuckin' poppers letting you go 11 stops pass your stop before realizing you're going the wrong way, this apartment wouldn't have gotten this hot! Furthermore, you're not a friend, you're just a trick. So mi casa ain't su casa, bitch! Don't get it twisted!!!"

And yes, that was the part where my regret before he actually arrived began. For while I was waiting for him, I initially had my fan on to cool the room. However, the wait got so long that I fell asleep. And what woke me up was him texting me about being 11 stops pass the stop he assumed he was supposed to get off of. But with that, the cool night air that the fan was blowing had made me cold. So I cut the fan off. Hence why by the time he got there, my apartment was hot again.

I was so angry by his telling me what to do with my lights that I did something I never do with sex. I used sex for revenge. We flip-fucked with the sole purpose of me giving him good ass and good dick that he would want again, but would be denied. And as the "sex" went on he solidified me sticking to that plan.

For he sniffed so much poppers that he made me get a headache in my own apartment. Much to my chagrin, I've had guys do poppers in my apartment before. In fact, it might surprise you, but the guy from my video "Why It's 'WE Fucked'" used poppers. But he or no other guy was such a popper-addict like this jerk that in order to survive them being in my home that I would have to hold my breath each time they took a huff. And since this is my home, why should I have to hold my breath? This is my place to be free.

So he decided that he was going to top me. He was good for a bit, then like a common popper-head, the poppers made his dick go limp. So he had me in missionary position, boring to death trying to make out with me. Because by this point, the muscle-relaxing effect that makes poppers moronic to take had taken effect on his dick. So he wasn't doing a bit of thrusting because his dick was getting more and more limp. Therefore, slowly slipping out of my tight hole.

After I got tired of his popper-addicted presence giving me a headache in my own home, I decided it was time for this pathetic charade to end. So it might have seemed like a tired line, but it was all too true. I told him that I had a headache, and that I had no Advil or anything in the apartment to take for it. Therefore, I had to go to the store. Do you know what this ill-mannered, socially inept fucktard said next?

"Can I stay here and wait for you?"

Was this mutha fucka for real?! Now, either he: a) sniffed so much poppers that his brain cells were truly gone, b) was that ill-mannered and socially inept, that he had no idea as to when the fuckin' party was over, or c) a combination of a & b! First of all, considering the direction from which I later discovered that he came to my place from, there is no open mini-marts except right outside the train station, which is about a 10 - 15 minute walk away. So did he really think that I was going to leave him - an uncommon trick, a stranger - alone in my apartment for 20 - 30 minutes???!!!

Again, I have to say "Mi casa ain't su casa, bitch!"

So I replied, "No, you've gotta go." So we got dressed and I walked him to the train station. However, I felt so accomplished in getting him out of my apartment, my headache lightened up enough that I almost forgot to buy my Advil.

If you recall, I did punch a fucker across the room for invading my personal space that is my body. And I treat my home with the same amount of protection. So this guy, after all of what he did, he's lucky that he walked out of my place in one piece...

Well, his outer body might have been in one piece. But his brain and common sense is obviously fuckin' falling apart at the seams. And due to no one else's fault but his ignorant ass own!

"Fuck, I'm Sexy": Blacks ARE Good Enough, Part 2

Gay nightlife promoter Daniel Nardicio recently posted this status update on Facebook:

I know that it was not what Daniel had in mind, but this status made me think about how saying to oneself "Fuck, I'm sexy" is something every non-White, especially those of medium to dark complexion must tell themselves everyday. And it's not out of stereotypical gay narcissism. Instead, it is because the racism plaguing our community and society will make those of us with medium and dark complexions feel worthless if I we allow the sexual racism that's fueled by gay media, porn, and nightlife to get to us.

I have been combating the racism in the gay community for quite awhile. But it has not only been by way of this blog like some would think. I have also combated this racism by entering bar contests, and applying for go-go dancing gigs at places that I knew wouldn't entertain the idea of a 5' 6" fit (not gymrat) Black male. Fully aware that in spite of my better skills as a dancer (to the White/light guy they hire being a citizen of Rhythm-less Nation) and my interaction with the crowd, that the sexual racism of the crowd and ignorant promoters catering to it that I had a snowball's chance in hell of winning the contest, or getting the go-go gig. And if I got the gig, my professionalism wouldn't be asked back as often as a White boy's unprofessional haughtiness and self-indulgence while he's still on the clock.

Combating this sexual racism is also why I applied to be a model for Next Door Magazine in 2011. Every time I saw this magazine prior, it was full of White guys with so few Black guys, you could count them on one hand, and still have fingers left over. So imagine my surprise when interest in me, after approaching them at The Rainbow Book Fair that year led  to an actual photoshoot. Also, how issues since my layout in the magazine, there have been other Black models. Even one making the cover. That says to me that the response to my layout was positive enough that (at least for awhile) it inspired them to rethink their color scheme of models, and bring in more variety. Therefore, my actions were not for naught.

The racism in the gay community tells Whites that they're sexy even if they're not competent at what the sexy job entails, or they're built like malnourished walking sticks. Meanwhile, the racism in the community too often refuses to tell non-Whites that at all. The only non-Whites the Whites running gay entertainment give a pass to is a light-complexioned Latino, and maybe an Asian here and there. But that's all a tactic to avoid being called out for the racists that they are.

This racism tells us that we have to actually work to be recognized for our sexual and intellectual prowess, which while unfair, does in the long run gives us a better work ethic. This racism also tells us that we're only worth being made a fetish of. Not to be respected and taken seriously as sexually desirable entities for our looks and intellect. In fact, I have been looking in a mirror telling myself that I'm sexy ever since I applied for go-go dancing gigs that I knew venues were going to make some excuse to turn me down. And thinking back on that, the 2 main venues I put in for are no more - them being The Roxy and Urge Lounge. So good fuckin' riddance!

I have also had to tell myself "I'm sexy" every time I sat in front of my computer to apply for a porn studio. Knowing full well that whitewashed porn companies like Falcon, Raging Stallion, Hot House, Titan Media, Corbin Fisher, Sean Cody, Lucas Entertainment, etc. were going to give some excuse to insult my higher intellect, or give no reply at all. Which leaves me with the only choices being modern-day slavery porn studios also owned by Whites like Big City Video, FlavorWorks, Pitbull Productions, Real Urban Men, or Black-owned Chocolate Cream (B.C.) Productions - all of whom show Black males to not be sexual men, but gorilla niggers instead. So you know I'm enjoying the karma of how fucktard-run studios like Falcon, Raging Stallion, and Hot House, once individual powerhouse gay porn companies, are now getting their comeuppance by having to band together to save face and stay afloat. And ALL of the aforementioned companies and others are allowing their stuff to be downloaded on sites like FilesMonster.

This is why Karma is a bitch that I love, love, love, LOVE.

There are 3 types of people reading this blog post:
1) Those who don't go out, don't read gay media, and don't watch porn heavily because they know the ugliness I'm speaking of here to be true;
2) Those who actually do partake of gay media, porn, and/or nightlife, but do it in silence; and
3) Those who run sites and/or events that fuel the racism I speak of. So they're reading this is to see just how much on to them I really am.

And with #3, while they try being discreet, you can always tell when my telling the ugly truth of their ugly behavior has hurt them. For that's when the free entry into events stop. As well as the free drink tickets. Along with rigged contests. You see, they don't think I see this. But the fact is that while I was born at night, for their plan to go undiscovered, they're wishing I was born last night.

The racism fueled by White-dominated gay media, porn, and nightlife has done a lot of damage to the sexual image of Black males especially. And in the process the (way too many) weak-minded among us Blacks won't speak or act publicly in a way to combat this. For those racist White-owned entertainment outlets have made the weak minded of us Blacks feel guilty of having "Angry Black Man Syndrome". Yet truth be told, we have every fuckin' right to be angry! For it's misrepresentation of us as a whole.

Hence the reason I need to say all this. For while presently, my looks, lifestyle, and relationship status allows me to take the stand by entering these contests to show the variety in Black males as a sexual and intellectual power in the gay community, I know at some point, that will no longer be the case. One or more of the aforementioned factors allowing me to participate will at some point change to stop me. And since I seem to find myself always the only Black body and voice, that means no Black male is on the verge of taking my place as that body & voice by doing the action of participating. Which means Black gay males fearing Whites laying on the guilt will silence Blacks again. Thereby making all the progress I have made in getting our variety recognized as a power in a short time be back to square one. Then who will we have to blame for the dismissal of the variety of Blacks having just as much prowess as that of Whites? OURSELVES.

The problem is that based on the present display by Blacks, if and when that backwards slide happens, Blacks will never admit to it. For that damage by Whites to our image won't be undone by the present buying of their racist magazines and porn videos. It won't be undone by giving another Facebook "like" to another White model from their White saturated website. It won't be undone going to their parties catering to racism in multi-ethnic areas to tip their White/light go-go boys, AND never calling the racism out. It won't be done sitting in the audience cheering for a contestant when all of the contestants are White/light. Nor will it be done by hosting a contest where all of the contestants are White/light. For if you look at the history of beauty contests, the reason that host was chosen was because he/she has qualities that the producer feels makes that Black person unfit to be considered a contestants.So in a gay bar contest, if that Black guy is of a body type like the White/light contestants allowed to enter, then it's safe to say that the disqualifying factor by that party promoter was color.

In short, the fact that we Blacks are just as sexually desirable (by looks or intelligence) as Whites is not going to be put in the heads of those duped by gay media unless we demand a shot at the spotlight of being seen and/or heard. That is what I do and have done with every contest I've entered, every stint as a go-go boy at a mostly White bar or party, every porn studio I applied for who has rejected me with a bullshit excuse, and every website and blog I've submitted posts to, then called out later for their racism...So more Blacks need to step it up as a way to say,...

"Regardless as to whether you choose me or not, my Black skin is here in your bar, on your stage, in your contest, sending you an email, filling out your application, etc. to let you know that I know that I am sexy, smart, and therefore good enough to be here."

Putting Off Your Blast Off

I was recently offered a sample of a male desensitizing spray called Promescent. To be honest, I have always been weary of desensitizing sprays, creams, and gels. To the point that even though my working at The Pleasure Chest has made me entertain trying things I never thought I would, a desensitizing spray is one thing that I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever thought I would bend on giving a try.

Being sexual is more in my nature than most people. It's probably the reason I have been masturbating since I was about 9 years old, and know my body and the male anatomy in general better than most. So after masturbating for that many years, at my present age of 43, my penis is very quick to ejaculate when stroked by my hand. I still have stamina as a top penetrating someone. However, when it comes to masturbating by stroking my dick with my hand, I'm quick to shoot a load if I'm not more patient with myself. The only thing that slows it down is stroking my dick in front of people - in short, shyness. Such as in a hook-up, a sex party, or erotic performances, like my masturbation poses when I modeled for the Leslie-Lohman Drawing Studio. With that being the case, I decided to try this desensitizing spray.

I must admit that I was hesitant to even accept the spray when offered. For as you can tell from my blog posts, I am someone who thrives on feeling every sensation involved in a situation. Regardless as to whether that sensation is physical or mental, I want to feel it all, with no interference. And as sexual as I am, there's no doubt that applies to sexual play. Hence why I hate poppers.

So the big question is: Did Promescent work? And the answer, at least from my experience, is yes.

I learned that some of my concern was realized by using Promescent, but not to the full extent. Meaning that because of its active ingredient, Lidocaine, it does just what it claims to do - desensitize. I only used 3 - 5 sprays out of the recommended 3 - 10. That caused a numbing to occur, but it didn't completely strip me of sensation as I originally always feared of desensitizers. And this did cause a delay in my ejaculation. So I personally would use Promescent for solo use.

I will admit that I have yet to use Promescent for sexual intercourse. And if I do, I will very likely do so with a condom. Even though Promescent's formula claims to absorb better into the skin than other Lidocaine-active desensitizers, so no condom should be necessary.

The reason for my decision to still use a condom is that the instructions on Promescent say "...Wash product off after intercourse." This says to me that even if it's a very small dose, the product is still on the skin, and can be removed with fluid. Therefore, I think it's safe to be concerned that Promescent can be washed off by your partner's bodily fluids while those fluids are still in their body. This, depending upon your partner's sensitivity, can still transfer the Lidocaine into your partner's anus, vagina, or even their mouth. With that said, Promescent is for lessening the intensity of sensation to your penis. NOT lessen the sensation in or around the orifice of the partner your putting your penis into. Keep in mind that I admit to the fact that I have not used it with another person. But this concern of mine is the reason why.

So this review is not a total "yes", but it's not a total "no" either. So since I can't be adamant, I am leaving the choice up to you.

After going to the website, the packaging for Promescent might have changed from that which is in my 1st picture. So keep that varied packaging in mind should you go looking for it anywhere.

Using Modus Vivendi To Say "Black IS Beautiful": Blacks ARE Good Enough, Part 1

As some of you may know that I once wrote a blog post about a sex party I attended entitled "My Sex Drive at Hard Drive". Since then, I have gotten weekly updates on the party, including the changing of the name to Handsome NYC.

A couple of weeks ago, the weekly email told of a fashion show for the underwear/swimwear company Modus Vivendi was to take place at the party. The email also included a call for models. Due to the lack of medium to darker complexioned Black male underwear models, I was sure most Black guys' faith would be shaken. Therefore, not submit their names out of fear of rejection in being chosen. So I decided to throw my name in the hat as a way to say those racists, and Blacks doubting their beauty:

Modeling in a fashion show at a sex party might seem like an extreme means to make such a statement, but as a single, exhibitionist gay Black man, I had to go where the opportunity to make this much-needed statement presented itself. 

And it's sad that I had to use an event intended for fun to make such a statement, but it's times like these that make me call for the removal of many present powers-that-be in gay media. For it is them who put the idea in many people's head that "Black is not beautiful". A falsehood I have for years been battling.

Now, I'm sure there are some racists who saw me in the fashion show, and/or photos who followed the "fashion" world's lead by feeling my Black skin in the mix ruined everything. Especially with me being the FIRST to walk out on the runway.
Well, if that's their problem, then they need to get out of the color-filled melting pot that is America. For based on the comments and likes group photos like the one above have received, my presence proved that Black skin in the midst of light ruins nothing. And if they refuse to see that, then whatever age they are, they can't say about their so-called beauty what I can honestly say about mine. Which is:
 
I am a 43 year-old Black male who is in better mental and physical shape than many of the 20 and 30-somethings who turned up their noses at my presence in the fashion show, the photos, and this video. So all I care about their gripe is the undeniable fact that it proves my inner and outer beauty outdoes theirs.


So with that said, to all you envying haters, have a nice so-called life.

And to my friends and followers, THANK YOU, for your continued support. :-)

Read Part 2, "Fuck, I'm Sexy!" HERE.