The Expendable Gay Male

Why are so many gay males single?

It is a question often asked, but no one seems to have a real concrete answer. And if they do come up with one, they often do the talk, but not the walk. Well, while I am not perfect, I plan on letting this post show that what I say here comes from being both the wronged, as well as the wrong-doer. So I have learned my lesson. And by the end of this post, you'll learn how we can discuss this further in person.

Whether you meet a guy in a bar/club, at a sex party or backroom, or via an online hook-up it has become a norm that we have come to accept and display behavior to one another that says:

"I got horny, hit you up online (or left the bar/club with you), fucked, and never thought that for one second I owed you the courtesy of treating you like anything more than a hole to stick my dick in and/or a stick to tickle the nerve endings in my ass tunnel with. So excuse me for acting like that moment and night never happened, and/or not remembering your name. It's because in short, you weren't human to me. You were an expendable object simply there to satisfy my horniness. And I used you because I got sick and fuckin' tired of using my hand and sex toys. And for some unforeseen reason, you just happened to be a hole or stick that came with a pulse."

And hook-up websites and apps have only exasperated this problem. For they take away the face-to-face human interaction once required for a hook-up, which made us more human, therefore less often seen as expendable. Also, many gay males lessen their manhood by saying things like a guy named Douglas said to me,"Hey, it's a hook-up site. You take it too literally and too personally. It is what is and will always be just that. It's not the Love Connection with Chuck Woolery."

Keep in mind that Douglas is a minister-in-training. So with an attitude like that to exonerate himself from being dismissive of one's time, body, and emotions in a hook-up, only a fool would go to his ministry. For his statement is waaaay less embodying of those of a man worth being called a "minister". But I digress.

Anyway, just because the idea of dismissing the person as existing after doing the deed is considered "protocol", that doesn't make it right.

(If you think it does, come to my discussion on 1/23/15 and I'll give you an indisputable example to solidify this point.)

Now, I'm not saying that after a hook-up that you have to date, then call a realtor, because you're immediately a couple. What I am saying is that from the moment that guy either clicks on your online profile, approaches you at a sex party, touches you in a backroom, lust for you in a bar/club, or so much as kisses you in any of the aforementioned places, it is your God-ordained right to demand that he remembers the fact that first and foremost, YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING. So after sex, he should not be allowed to treat a Fleshlight or Tenga Flip-Hole with more respect than he treats you.

And if it's not those instances that gay males are using as a means to treat one another as expendable. It's circumstances like color/ethnicity, age, and even HIV status.

I've went over color/ethnicity enough times that I don't have to go there in great detail right now. If you're new to this blog, you can easily click on one of the links under "Category", and you can easily find stories to support how we are ostracizing each other for no good reason.

The same can also be said regarding HIV status as a means to treat one another as disposable. I also went over this in great detail in the blog post, "The 'Are You Clean?' Challenge".

What many gays don't seem to realize is that all of this ostracizing makes for bad Karma. Bad Karma punishing us for that dehumanizing treatment, which in turn makes many gay males end up alone. And Karma being the tricky bitch that she is will get you. For even after you think you've found the "love of your life", Karma makes you pay by taking that love away. It's payback for however many times you didn't show simple human courtesy to a person you shared your body with.

There is always that parent, family member, former friend, or job that distances themselves from us after we come out. However, that cannot be used as an excuse as to why so many gay males do it to each other, then end up alone and lonely in our old age. We have to start breaking the cycle of belittling.

And it won't stop until we address how it exist, and act humanely to one another to counter it. Hence why I will be continuing this in a discussion I'm moderating on January 23rd at the LGBT Center in NYC. There I will give more details to my stories, and give you the floor to tell some of your own. So until then....

Don't Disrespect This Fuck!

Due to how much I see poppers as a sign of a continuing sexually social epidemic within the gay community despite our present ongoing social acceptance, I have made it no secret of my disdain for them. To the point that I have made the vow to myself to never date a guy who uses them. And I believe this poem clearly explains why.

This sentiment is further explained in my poem, "Poppered Preacher". It's a poem about a minister-in-training who I was recently involved with. If you read my Tumblr blog post on Calling Out Ass Holes that was an open letter to the church he attends, then you have the foundation for that poem already in your minds. So I hope you will let yourself be enlightened by that poem as well.

Now, if you feel either of these poems made the gay community looked bad to the mostly heterosexual audience it was presented to, since I made it clear that I myself don't use them, that's not my fault. That is an issue that needs to be taken up with the user(s) of poppers that you are the most familiar with. So this problem will stop, thereby making me no longer need to address it. And if you're one of those users, then your ill-will towards these poems is your calling to STOP.

I ♥ Sex with Extremes

It's been quite awhile since I've told a tale about my sexcapades at a Daniel Nardicio party. So this is what happened to me recently at Daniel Nardicio's Horn of Plenty.

I knew before hand that I was going to strip down and walk around in either my underwear or totally naked. It was just a matter of when. It got delayed because a guy came up and started talking to me. He wasn't initially one of my preferred types, but I thought to give him a chance to work his way into being so. That didn't work out so well.

The conversation started out great. His flattery and all of that was working. That is until we're weren't talking for 10 minutes yet, and already he reached down my jeans to feel my ass. In a place like The Cock, that's good timing. Plus, he did ask for consent. Then what's the problem?...He asked while he his hand was already down my jeans, and not before. But for some reason, unlike with past intruders upon my personal space, I was polite. I didn't use my words of truth about his lacking social skills as a means to drill through his skin, flesh, then bone, then turn his heart into string by ripping it out through the hole. Although his actions gave me every right to do so. For this reason, when he decided to go get a drink, while I could have done like most guys, and used him for a free drink to pay for his bad manners, I instead went elsewhere.

And that's when the fun of my night began.

First, I got undressed. Because at a Daniel Nardicio party, I tend to feel way overdressed in any degree of shirt and pants. Even if it was summer time, wearing a tank top and a pair of shorts would be too much for me. So I stripped down to my jockstrap.

I ran into a guy I fooled around with before at the ManMeat NYC parties. At that party, he topped me. And we knew we still wanted each other. So we slipped into a dark corner, and made out. Then he started positioning himself. I saw that ass that I was groping when he was fucking me missionary at that sex party. This time however, he was offering it for me to enter. So I took the obligation and topped him. I would have shot my load if it wasn't for the big White guy who kept touching me even though I was politely moving his hand off of me.

After that playmate left, I met another guy. He was a White guy over 6 feet tall. We kept giving each other quick glances and smiles. After awhile, I realized that he was like me ----shy. So I upped the ante on our conversation. I wasn't sure if it was just conversation, or conversation leading to some kind of sexual play. It became clear once he decided to tell me that he was a bottom. I figured that he might have told me that because with our height difference, a guy my height of 5'6" courting him might most likely want him to be their top. Well, truth be told, I was game for that if he was.

We went to the bathroom together only to find a bunch of other guys there. He obviously didn't care as he immediately squatted down, pulled my dick out of my jockstrap, and sucked away. And he was actually very good. Good enough that I wish there was enough room to bend him over, and fuck his ass. While a blowjob to me whether I'm the giver or receiver is an invitation to fuck, in this case, it would have also been my way to say "Thank you, Baby. You earned my dick in you."

While I was getting sucked, someone was touching me. I looked up to see who was touching me, and it was this good-looking short Latino I noticed earlier. But once I started raising my head, he immediately stopped. And I never had a chance to give him a bad look. And I wouldn't anyway. Because once I saw it was him, I was all for it. So after he stopped, I reached out for him. Once he came over to me, he got behind me, and grinded against my ass while the other guy continued sucking my dick. I reached behind me to feel the Latino's ass. It was nice, juicy, and so smooth. I never said it, but it made me want his dick. Then he pulled back for a moment. I heard the rip of a packet I figured was a condom, then after a pause, he started feeling for my asshole. Once he found it, he put on a spit lube. So it was like he read my mind.

I wasn't sure if getting fucked in the ass would kill my hard-on from the guy sucking me. For in the past, I would lose a hard-on once my ass got penetrated. The only way my dick stayed hard was by taking a male enhancement pill. But even then, there was no way I was going to orgasm.

However, since my job gave me those Aneros prostate massagers for my birthday, even though I've masturbated with each of them at least 1 time apiece, just like the brain that governs it, my body is a quick learner. For it seems that my orgasms while playing with my 5 Aneros toys has taught my body to do something that I couldn't even promise porn producers like Michael Lucas ----I can now orgasm while being penetrated. However, this was the first time I would probably find out if I could shoot a load while being fucked by an actual person.

Well, with each thrust from the Latino, I felt myself getting closer and closer to shooting my cum load in the White guy's mouth. And just as I was nearing the point of no return...another interruption. This time, it was a tall Asian that I've seen there before being his usually socially awkward self.

The surface thinking part of me feels sorry for guys like the Asian and the big White guy I mentioned earlier. Meanwhile, the deep-thinker looks at the big picture and gets pissed off to near violence. For I realize that just how I made the choice to be sexually repressed because of my strict Christian upbringing, they made the choice to live a life where they either don't get out much, live a life contrary to their sexual nature, are out of shape so few people want them, follow the rules of some sexual repressive cultures, or what have you. So whatever the case may be, with them being adults, satisfying them for their self-induced shortcomings is not my fuckin' problem!

Even though those interruptions made me have to go home and beat off before going to sleep, my night put a smile on my face. For I had a tall guy on his knees to suck my cock, and a guy shorter than me fucking my ass. 2 things that many initially assume should happen the other way around. I like using my exhibitionism to make people think outside of what they were taught to be "the norm". So the fact this sex education moment was happening for everyone in that bathroom to see....made it more of a turn on. ;-)