I'm Versatile, But I Prefer To....

I went to The Cock's Anniversary Party thrown by Daniel Nardicio. While standing around, a guy walked pass touching me to say "Hi". At first, my porn-induced PTSD that I've addressed before almost sent me into a violent rage. However, just as quickly as it was sparked, it was brought under control by realizing that I've met the guy before. Even more calming is the fact that every time we see each other, we flirt.

We got to catching up, talking about what I observed at that point about the crowd, and the conversation led to me talking about whether I'm a top, bottom, or versatile. Now, if you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, then you already know I'm versatile. But for some reason, he asked a question I've been asked before by others, and always danced around the question to avoid giving an answer. An act which is out of character for me, because this blog and my social media posts show that I'm normally quite forthcoming answering such questions about my sex life. Some things are off limits, but not that. So this time, I finally bit the bullet.

After I said I was versatile, the question he then asked was, "Which one do you prefer?"

I revealed my answer to be BOTTOM.

I paused for a moment to answer. Knowing my pause was not due to a shame towards bottoming. Proof of that lack of shame starts with my purposely going into gay porn as a bottom. Followed by my sex tales, captions on my Tumblr, sexual fantasies told on both, plus my refusal to date a popper-user. All of these make it obvious that I love the natural sensation of a cock riding back and forth inside my tight ass tunnel.  Whether that guy makes his cock move inside me with a slow romantic glide, the hard drilling of an extremely impassioned fuck, or any degree of vigor in between. The reason for my pause was because thanks to the media-induced perception of bottoms, my answer required some explanation.

The explanation that I gave is that looking back, bottoming has always been my preference. When I first imagined having sex with a guy, before knowing gay sex was anal sex, I thought of myself as a bottom. It wasn't until the night I lost my virginity that I realized that at some point, I would also top, and very easily become 50/50. Because when the guy I lost my virginity to wanted me to top him after he topped me, I couldn't. But I knew someday I would. And if not with him, then somebody else.

Also, when I masturbate, I assume the position of which I want to have sex in. So like most guys, I masturbate laying on my back. However, while a top lays on his back fantasizing about a bottom, I'm usually on my back imagining being giving a hot cock in missionary position, and the ass-man that I am worshiping my top's flexing ass. Occasionally, I will have a topping fantasy while lying down. Imagining a bubble butt hottie is riding my dick. However, my usual fantasy while lying down has me as a bottom.

As I said before, this was not the first time I was asked the question of which do I prefer, and I paused in answering all those other times, too. This was just the first time I ever analyzed my pause, and explained it briefly out loud to the person asking.

With that said, what made me hold out on answering the question before and this time was because I felt if I said "bottom", that it would make people assume that I was a versatile bottom, which I'm not. And I'm not saying there's something wrong with anyone who is. I simply know that as I have said in the past, I'm a very accommodating lover. I can make myself into what you need me to be in order for you my playmate to feel comfortable and sexually satisfied. Primarily by being an erotic mirror to my partner. For being his erotic mirror means being the sexual opposite he needs to be fulfilled. And only someone 100% versatile can do that.

While I explained just a little bit as to why I prefer bottoming. I did wonder to myself as to why I felt the need to explain. And just as quick as I asked myself that question, I quickly gave myself a reply.

It's because like I said, so much in our community makes being a bottom seem like a bad thing. Especially if you're a gay black male bottom. 

And for any and every color and ethnicity, bottoming is not rewarded. It is instead punished and ridiculed.

Look at sites like Men.com, which I've complained about a lot for this reason. And NakedKombat which makes the loser of the wrestling match have to bottom, and the bottoms don't look pleased.

They even more so don't look pleased on ActiveDuty, where I recall one scene some years ago featuring a guy who was wincing while he bottomed. And later in the scene, when the wincing bottom was able to top,  a scene description pops up on the screen to say that the once-wincing bottom "gets his revenge". My feeling is that there would be no need for the once-wincing bottom to "get his revenge" if he was enjoying his bottoming experience in the first place.

The porn industry (gay or straight) has little care if the one being penetrated is experiencing pleasure or pain. Producers/directors' sole concern is that the penetrating top has a cumshot so they can say, "End of scene, so my bank goes ka-ching!"

So this post is me proudly claiming that YES, I'm versatile, and while I prefer bottoming, I don't tolerate none of the aforementioned is self-loathing shit were taught to take thanks to porn.

An example of bottoms being ridiculed in our everyday lives is a "joke" I was once told 2nd hand.

It goes a little something like, "What do you call a guy with a small dick?... Duh! A bottom."

That "joke" to me is nothing more than another sign of gays being their own worst enemy. By displaying overcompensating macho bullshit at a bottom's expense. So the only one to find this humorous is an ungrateful top with no respect for any of his bottoming partners.

And bottoms definitely deserve respect and praise. For it takes a lot of manhood to be a bottom when you consider how anal sex was once considered a means to demean one's manhood. So one finding pleasure in taking any size cock up the ass is without a doubt, a signed of evolved manhood. Therefore, since it's 2017, those who demean bottoming need to catch up with the times.

And I'm not just saying this because I prefer bottoming. The proof is seen with every bottom you have ever played with, and gave you ass so good that after you came there was a smile formed by 2 holes on your body - 1) your mouth, and 2) the hole on your dick while it was shooting out your jizz load, and after.

So as I'm proclaiming my preference for bottoming, that does not mean that the ass-man that I also proclaim to be has died. I still have the lust to put my cock in a hot guy's  ass, and cum from its tight warmth inside, and seeing and feeling his buns jiggle on the outside.

However, I do get off on being underestimated, then becoming more powerful than you were told to believe. And my past sex tales as a bottom, plus my past, present, and future blog and social media posts all show how those of us who truly know how to bottom are far from the weak creatures we have been led to believe, and asked to portray. Hence why this confession was most necessary.