Return To Porn?...But My Butt Demands

On September 23, 2009, I officially announced my retirement from studio-based gay porn. Have I ever wanted to make a comeback? All of the time. I love being naked, and I love being an exhibitionist. So on initial thought, I'm quite often ready to throw my name back in the hat.

What stops me is my nature of always seeing the big picture. Whether the vision comes in a split second or over a few months, when I get an idea in my head, I always look to see the chains leading to, and more importantly, the chains resulting from my actions if I dare to proceed.

The reason I had issues with the gay porn industry before is because they refused to acknowledge their responsibility in influencing gay male sexual behavior. Well, I mean when it suits their pockets anyway. I've named names of some of the guilty parties enough times in the past, so I don't need to do it again.

Now, if I ever was to make a return, my butt would have certain demands. Why my butt? Well let that start off my list by saying, MY BUTT DEMANDS:

1) Staying a Bottom On Camera
The porn industry seemed to finally take my advice about using black bottom when the Recession hit. I'm sure it was because the Recession made porn studios get desperate to find something their so-called minds called "new" to show porn viewers. This change of more black males bottoming ran for a bit. However, once the economy got back on track, many studios went right back to the same old formula for interracial porn of uber-aggressive black gorilla nigger tops with a wincing, whiny white or light Latino bottom.

Now, while I do see an improvement, the damage from black porn actors and their low self-esteem still accepting parts in racist scenarios is still visible. Thw results can easily be seen at sex parties, bar backrooms, and on hook-up websites and apps. As racist whites and other non-blacks claiming to not be racist, YET they're on the hunt for #BBC (Big Black Cock).

I'm a more confident and skilled top now than I was back then, and could be one of the few black tops in porn showing some civility to non-blacks during sex. However, because I still see that lacking of black bottoms with non-blacks in porn and transferring into the real world, if I returned to porn, I would return as a bottom.

2) Genuine Attraction
I have never been an escort, but when I did gay porn, the ratio of those porn actors who escorted and those who didn't (like myself) was 50/50. Now, that ratio has grown to a much higher percentage of porn actors also escorting. And I didn't then, nor do I now want to have sex with prostitutes. I want the sex I have on camera to be with exhibitionists, like myself. I need to know that my scene partner is really into me. Him putting his beautiful cock in my ass, or him giving me his hole to fill to not be first and foremost about it being a job. I want us both to view the sex for that video in the same way I view a career - something you would do for free, with money as a fringe benefit.

Now, while a scene with an escort is not my 1st choice, I'm not totally ruling it out. For I could do a scene with a guy(s) who escorts. The catch is he would have to be someone I've at the least made out with before when I met him off the clock and/or unaware of his escorting. That way I can guarantee myself great sex that our audience wouldn't have to (even subconsciously) wonder about whether or not our chemistry is real.

3) Little to No Acting
Porn sex is real sex. It's not a simulated scene like Heath Ledger's supposed spit-lube fucking of Jake Gyllenhaal in "Brokeback Mountain". Gay porn is real dicks in real asses. And the only acting should be the dialogue to set up the fantasy. Everything from the come-hither eyes to the passion of the 1st kiss to the orgasms should be real.

With that said, I would personally like to cut the bullshit chatter, and get right to showing an audience the action. Much like Dark Alley Media and Treasure Island Media do their scenes. I have had my criticisms of them over time, but I will give credit where credit is due.

4) No pullouts
In my bottoming, I want no pull-outs when my top is cumming. For me to return, be it a condom or bareback scene, the camera-person better find some angle to get a shot of my top's taint and/or cock throbbing when he is cumming. Because I want the audience to see us pleasured how we would be if the cameras were not there. And when I bottom, my tops don't pullout. I get a mental orgasm from feeling his cock throbbing in my ass from his cumming.

The only way I get to see his jizz is by him jerking off.

Yes, I am well aware that this rule would deny viewers to see my sex partner's jizz. Well, as a friend of mine pointed out that the "necessity" for cumshots is because it's seen as proof that the sex happened. Well, as far as I'm concerned... you know the sex happened. You saw it when you watched my top passionately pound the fuck out of me. So there's your proof.

With that, me and my top can freely fuck without him worrying about pulling out when he gets real close to cumming. And if we go bareback, don't expect me to push out a single drop. The most you can hope for is the camera-person getting a shot of a string of cum attached to his dick and the cum he put inside me as he pulls out of my ass. For my tight hole closes up right away. It's loose enough to easily be re-entered by my playmate, but tight enough to hold in his jizz, which it will do without me focusing on it. Because when I let a guy go raw and cum in my ass, it means I'm really into him, and my body instinctively wants to hold any remnants of him that it can after he ejaculates.


Only if all of those demands are met would I return to porn. And I wouldn't do it if a studio only planned to follow these demands for me alone. No. I want these to be their ongoing staples in their productions. Making their porn worth spending money for. Because at the moment, if you tell me that you pirated a studio-based porn movie, you will get no look of disapproval from me. For so many studios doing the opposite of my demands have made their own product not worth the money.

However, I do pause about whether or not to put such an offer for a return out there. For looking at the aforementioned big picture of my life now, I see my life on an upswing since leaving porn. Proof being how the roads leading to a lot of the good going on in my life now started not only when I retired from gay porn, but when I started talking openly and honestly about my good and bad experiences in it. And that open and honest talk came from my poetry reading/Q & A when I read my poetry series, The Industry., which was the when I announced officially retiring calling myself by my porn name "Tré Xavier".

But it is often said to never say never. So if I'm to ever put myself in front of a porn studio's camera, what my butt demands is something that can be summed up in one word.

CHANGES!!!

And the changes my butt requires of the industry for me to come back has yet to happen. Everything from the racial make-up of the cast, to the mindset of today's porn actors, the porn industry has not learned from its past mistakes. It's still a hotbed for the selfish racists, the emotional cowards, the depressed, and the self-loathing, and the substance abusers trying to avoid dealing with how they are 1 or more of the aforementioned, with producers and directors being leeches ready to profit from those woes. So porn actors will keep dying by substance abuse and suicide. Therefore, that negative stigma about the industry won't go away anytime soon.

So until that happens, the gay porn industry can keep being the sinkhole to hell for Broken & Lost Boys. When they get above ground and out of hell, OR fool me enough to think they have by offering my above demands, THEN I'll make a return. And if they succeed at fooling me, I will do what I've always done when I get my wake-up call about a matter halting my growth.

I'll own my fuck-up, and put all involved (myself included) on blast for it.