51 Shades In A Hand-Solo

At The Pleasure Chest location where I presently work, when we no longer sell certain products, some demos then become up for grabs to the staff. That was the case with Hand-Solo by Rocks Off.

The toy was there when we first opened almost 4 years ago, back when the only toys I owned was some Fleshlights and a Clone-A-Willy. So in my lack of knowledge about sex toys at the time, I looked at the Hand-Solo never thinking it would be much fun. So I it took the demo becoming available as a way to take it home, and find out for sure. Unfortunately, the bullet that it comes with was not left with it. So my test was delayed. That is until a 50 Shades of Grey vibrating bullet became available.

For when packaging becomes damaged (usually) by a customer not asking for assistance, and there's no way to get new packaging, products also become available to the staff. Such was the case with a box for the 50 Shades of Grey bullet vibrator. Instead of asking for assistance, a customer opened the box on their own, ripped, now it's no longer able to be sold. So I took that home as well.

This now available 50 Shades bullet gave me the opportunity to finally try the Hand-Solo. I anticipated even more fun because the 50 Shades bullet is longer than most bullet vibrators. That's why after my 1st try of the Hand-Solo with orgasmic results while having the bullet facing away from me, I tried it a 2nd time with the bullet facing towards me. Anticipating more sensation by every inward stroke vibrating against the top center of my ball sack.

And this video is the result of that test:


Now, if you ever wondered about the title, it's very simply this equation:

50 Shades of Grey bullet vibe + the 1 shade of my cock = 51 Shades in a Hand-Solo.

7 Rules of Sex Shop Etiquette

Going into a sex shop should always be an adventure. One that is made best by following certain rules of decorum. Here are 7 rules to make your shopping experience at a sex shop the most stress-free.

 1) Take your time 

Your venturing into a sex shop is you buying something for a most intimate possession, your body. So if you don't know exactly what you want, be it for you or someone else, take your time to figure out what works for the intended recipient. 

2) Speak to a Customer Assistant, not a Salesperson 

Many will think that these 2 job titles are one and the same when actually they are not. A Customer Assistant does just that – assist. You tell them what you're looking for, and they'll assist you in finding what works best for you. They are not governed by a big sale, even if it comes at the expense of what you really want. A Customer Assistant will tell you the safest materials, and let you do the rest for yourself. Because after all, it's like my personal motto says.... It's your body, your call. 

A salesperson on the other hand will talk, and talk, and talk. Leading you... ALL THE WAY. The problem is this might result in you buying something your body doesn't really want or need because you were not heard enough to be properly assisted.  

3) Do not open packaging 

There of course are times when a sex shop product calls out to you. It may be in packaging, but without a demo in sight. In that instance, ask a Customer Assistant to help you. For a sex shop is not a clothing store where you can easily go into some packaging, take it out so you can get a feel. Products in a sex shop are products that go to even more intimate parts of your body. So when you want to see a product there is no demo for, ask for assistance. Please don't take it upon yourself. 

If you think about opening the packaging yourself, think about this scenario: 

What if the store let every customer open up packaging? Imagine how many hands would be on that product before it finally got in yours. Would you still want it? Exactly, you would not. So please don't make the product undesirable for anyone else who might want it, even though you don't. 

4) Shhh! Not so loud 

The excitement of venturing into a sex shop is totally understandable. Especially with friends along for the ride. However, you are in a store. An adult store. So please keep your elation over the experience under control. This is a rule more so for the sake of the other customers. 

For while you can be vocal in your taking in the experience of a sex shop, and still be progressive in making a choice, others might need lower volumes around them. I'm not saying to be quiet like you're in a library, Just be mindful of where you are. 

Again, it's an adult store. Not an amusement park for children. Of course, have fun. But be responsible enough to acknowledge not everyone’s way of (or volume in) relieving their nervousness over exploring their sexuality is the same as yours. 

5) No T.M.I. sexual info or touch 

Maybe you find your customer assistant attractive. Maybe you just want the ego boost because you think you have a great sex life that no one knows about, and you want to tell somebody, anybody. Whatever the case, a sex shop is not the place for it. Not with a Customer Assistant, or a customer. 

That also means keep your touching under control. Sometimes customers touch me with a friendly tap on the shoulder. I'm usually alarmed by this. For touch can give one more insight to someone's kind of energy, and despite what the one touching thinks, their energy is not always good. Plus, we seem to live in an age where boundaries that should be known to us are often disregarded, therefore crossed. So I think it is best that customers refrain from touching Customer Assistants and customers altogether to avoid crossing that line. 

6) Only Sample Toys On Non-Intimate Areas 

Yes, you are in a sex shop. However, keep your sampling with demos in/on non-intimate above the waist areas. Because no customer wants to touch a demo that you put on your bare nipple, in/on your mouth, your butt, or your genitals even if it's outside your clothes. 

7) Don’t yuck anyone else’s yum 

We all have our individual desired positions, kinks, and fetishes. And we have every right to voice them.... in your private space. However, in a sex shop where all sexual tastes are permitted and respected, it’s rude to knowingly insult someone else's sexual taste with any overt body language. That is unless the action, kink, or fetish can easily be proven as being mentally and/or physically harmful to one's health, and/or based on color, ethnic, religious, or body shape bias. 

In short, when it's not dangerous, live by the old saying, "LIVE AND LET LIVE". 

With all of that said, there is a lot of fun to be had when you venture into a sex shop. But while sex is an act in which we are often encouraged to go at with some level of reckless abandon, doing so in sex shop takes away from that fun. So when you go into a sex shop, follow the above rules to keep it fun. Keep it cute. Keep it sexy.

Sex Party of Appreciation Or Fetishizing

• At a naked party I recently attended, the only other black partygoer there besides myself quietly asked me, "Why doesn't anybody like me?"
• 
  
• As much as I didn't want to say it there, as I get older, I no longer care in waiting to tell a truth needed to be told. So I felt if anyone hears me, and has a problem with what I say, then they would expose themselves as either a guilty party, and/or an enabler of the problem.

So I unleashed the truth by telling him specifically what that problem is...Sexual racism, and how it is very much alive in 2017. Even though we have a great host that is welcoming to all colors and ethnicities, a number of guests are not that open-minded. Their actions show that if you don't fit into the color spectrum of white to light, then you get a polite "Hello" (if that), and nothing more.

In the midst of my saying this and more to further explain my point, I think that in my passion, my voice carried. For I heard one guy say to another in the next room, "It's just sex, You're overthinking it!"

Maybe it wasn't them kiki'ing over what I was saying. However, since that response is a very common racially insensitive white response to when I address the issue of sexual racism, it's only natural for me to feel it was very likely directed at what I was saying.

• 
  
• So in my suspicion and needed venting, I posted this on Facebook, then made a screenshot of it, to post on Instagram the next day:

• #sexualracism #racism #interracial #interracialsex #blackandwhite #racialinsensitivity #gaysexparties

  A post shared by LeNair Xavier (@lenairxavier) on Jul 11, 2017 at 8:13pm PDT

• After some likes on Instagram, I got this comment from @ciscofashionnyc, and followed by my reply:
• ciscofashionnycquestion i have is.. if you feel that way, why would you attend sex parties where you feel that’s the case 😕 go where you will appreciated ‼️ #Facts#NYC #KiKiWithCisco

lenairxavier@ciscofashionnyc Because the only way one can get away from it is if they're such a coward about the reality of racism that they attend an all-black party. And since I love and honor the diversity that comes from being born and raised in the USA, and a native New Yorker, I'll be damned if I'm going to let some racist trash heaps chase me out of a place. Especially when some there do appreciate me, furthering the intent of the welcoming inclusive host.

As long as that reply is, because it was Instagram, I didn't reply with as much voracity as I will now by adding:
Being black and allowing myself to be exiled to attend an all-black party makes me just as racist and cowardly as the whites whose actions exiled me there. Furthermore, what exactly is an indicator for Black males to "go where you will be appreciated"? Is that attending a party catering to "bruthas and their admirers"?

If so, then that's advising that I attend a party enabling more racism. For attending such a sex party, says I'm low enough on self-esteem to allow myself to be made a fetish of. Because the non-black "admirers" attending such parties are there for that purpose, even if they're too brainwashed with white/light entitlement to realize it. Plus, enough porn companies pull that crap, leading a plethora of ignorant whites and non-blacks to follow it. And for that reason, instead of sticking my dick in their ass to give them some "big black cock",  sticking my fist through their face and beyond as punishment for their ignorance sounds a lot more inviting. So to avoid going to that dark place, I don't attend events marketed in that fashion. 

After my initial response, I then got this question asked:

ciscofashionnycso why are you focused on the negative and not highlighting those who do appreciate you / instead of giving so much light to those with dark hearts ⁉️

My reply:

lenairxavier@ciscofashionnyc Because those with dark hearts do so because no one calls them on it.

The racism of gay media endorses and enables their dark hearts. And that damage will never get undone unless someone with the means to do so holds them accountable. Social media gives us all a means to do that. Plus, their behavior is rooted in narcissism. So they want attention "all about them"? Then they should have been careful with what their actions wished for.

Which brings to how those who appreciate me not being narcissists. So they don't need the public praise. And I have offered it to them. But many I talk to about giving it to them don't want it, even anonymously. It's because they know who they are, and the good they have within. And you can't help but respect them for that in the way they see fit.

Again, I let some explanations slide in my response. First, with hindsight being 20/20, I realize that answering my fellow black partygoer there with the risk of being overheard was me subconsciously giving the guilty their overdue calling out for their behavior. And it seemed to spark a reaction that paves the way for a discussion to many black males are guilted by whites into not having, with themselves or with whites. So at first I would have apologized for answering the question at that time. But now I see it was the right thing to do.

Second further explanation, if the person commenting kept in mind what he also sees of me on Facebook, he would have easily seen how I do give praise to those who appreciate me and my brown skin. Blog posts as recent as "When Pornstars & Their Lookalikes Fuck Alike" is a perfect example of that.

My playmate from that encounter was a white male who resembled white straight porn actor Mark Ashley. The reason I didn't highlight his appreciation of my darker skin to his pale skin was because it was just that - appreciation. Not fetishizing. Giving me such a level of peace that in telling the story, instead of focusing on the presumed absence of racism (sexual or otherwise), I was able to focus on the sexual bliss. For our attraction to each other was not me seeing him as an attractive white man, or (as far as I knew) him seeing me as an attractive black man. We saw each other simply as 2 attractive men. With skin color not being a necessary part of that beauty. When skin color is not part of the discussion, it makes for a beautiful tryst. And that's how it should be.

This is not to say that I'm against praising a man's skin color. Because I have been blessed with the gift of sight to see your skin color, and I maintain the wisdom to find both light and dark skin worth admiring. But sexual racism being what it is, we have to be mindful to not tell someone too much about that aspect of their beauty we are admiring. For too early of a reveal can lead to us giving ourselves to a racial fetishist, then calling them our lover, then life-partner. So one should let the overt admiration of their skin color be earned over time.

With all that said, what keeps me coming back to that party? It's who I mentioned before - the inclusive host. While a number of the white/light guys there will stick to their racist white gay media-endorsed mantra of "it's a preference", totally oblivious to their own racism, the obvious welcoming of the host is what keeps me coming back. For that welcome is true appreciation.

Now, if you go to a party, and the host is fake, and obviously unwelcoming, then that is when the beauty of your skin color is not appreciated. And that is when your patronage should cease. But as long as the host is doing their part, keep coming back.