L.D.(T.) R.B. - Substance-Free Anal Sex

I am not a stereotypical gay/bi-guy by any means. I am both very anti-drug and anti-poppers. Especially during displays of my degree of gay, like anal sex. I take great pride in being against drug/substance use during sex for they help in defining myself as someone with true pride in their gayness. Regardless as to whether those drugs/substances are Molly, cocaine, meth, recreational weed, or even poppers, or booze. 

For I enjoy gay sex with a clear mind. Be it a dick in my ass, or my dick in someone’s ass. With my brain able to take in and clearly remember every stroke, thrust, throb of a cock, twitch of an ass tunnel, and/or squeeze of a sphincter, be it pleasing or uncomfortable. Making me able to easily weed out who deserves another chance to play, and who to banish away. 

With that strong position, a couple of months ago, I made a 20-minute video explaining further the root of my anti-popper stance. However, I realize that I never told you the exact details as to what I am doing to practice what I preach. What has my late coming out, and being drug/substance-free before that and since taught me so that I can scoff at the thought of huffing on poppers to ease anal play. So I think it’s best that I tell you now.

Starting with telling you to remember the initials: L., D., R., B., and sometimes T, in between the D & R.  

L is for LUBE - Unlike the vagina, the anus and rectum are not self-lubricating. So lube is a must. Since water-based lubes are easily absorbed into the body, a silicone-based lube is the best option for anal play. However, many are concerned about their sheets and other materials around becoming stained by silicone lubes during their anal play session. If such is the case, you can choose a water-based lube. Just make sure it is thick enough to give a cushion, and that thickness has some longevity. You might also want to consider a hybrid lube, which is a combination of water-based and silicone lube. With the silicone being what gives such a lube its longevity, and the water-based part being what makes it less staining.

D is for DESIRE - There are 2 things you need to desire to aid in your having substance-free anal sex. And if these 2 things are not in play, there is no amount of lube that is going to make anal sex any easier.  

One thing to desire is to desire having anal sex. And the desire has to be you wanting anal sex. Not you wanting to please someone who wants anal sex. Thereby making the next desire be to desire the person you’re having anal sex with. If you’ve had anal sex enough times before, you can go right to the R of this list. But I you’re new to anal sex or just encountered a new sex partner, then you need to acknowledge the T and why it’s in parenthesis. 

(T) is for (TRUST) - For reasons I stated in “A Sexually Geeky’s Why I ♥ Sex”, if you’re new to anal play or having anal play with a new partner, TRUST IS A MUST. You have to trust your partner. Primarily trust that your sex partner will be patient with you as you grow in patience with yourself. In the case of those who are not new to anal sex, but are having it with a new partner, you need that trust even more so. For the newness of your sex partner can cause anxiety that might make even a pro bottom clench their bottom. Any lack of that trust in yourself and/or your partner will lead to a grab for the poppers, or any other substance one uses to relax their sphincter. The problem is many of such substances are illegal and harmful, instantly and over time. Plus, with such substances in your system, you’ll lie to yourself. Never truly mentally or emotionally getting to the next step, which is... 

R is for RELAX – The closer you come to wanting anal sex so bad that your hole is twitching because it wants to grab your partner’s penis or desired sex toy, the more you can become relaxed. For now, your body is on a mission to let that person or toy inside to give you sexual satisfaction. If you are not new to anal sex, then this should happen right after desire. However, if you’re an anal sex novice, then that relaxation will come, not immediately after desire, but after trust in yourself, then your partner. 

B is for BREATHE – While you are finally being entered, as a reward to yourself for successfully following through all the aforementioned steps, take a deep breath as your sigh of relief. Relieved that sexual satisfaction is coming from that penis or sex toy inside you.

The reason I also suggest taking that breath while being entered is because it actually helps create suction to the penis or toy going inside you. This seemingly tedious task for you is in reality the start of the great sensations you will give your male-bodied partner. Sensations that will only intensify as he thrusts inside you, or you ride on him.

Why? Because with that deep breath following all the aforementioned steps, you are now properly prepared for substance-free anal sex. 

I am well aware that my position is not the most touted in popular gay circles. Nor with sex shops trying to make money off of the too common substance abuse habits gay males pass on to straight friends expressing interest in anal sex. Well, I have no interest in complying to either. For following the lead of those gay circles and such sex shops makes us less than what we should be during sex. You see, because of the misinformation, jaded past, and corporate greed that drive them, they refuse to tell you this fact...

Your sex partner should be your high and if needed, anal sex facilitator.

In fact, your sex partner should be your only needed and requested high. Plus, reliance upon substances for anal sex that are any degree harmful further justifies the argument of homophobes and the sexually narrow-minded that anal sex is dangerous, therefore unnatural.

So isn’t it time we start exhibiting and praising sexual behavior with anal sex that proves them wrong? I think so.